Recently got engaged but confused

BornConfused · October 17, 2011, 6:10pm

Re: Recently got engaged but confused

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Yes, it is true that people do get used to it if they have someone texting them daily. BUT…your conclusion is that he will be upset/mad if you change your behavior. Based on his current behavior, how do you even he actually cares whether or not you text him daily? And if he doesn’t care…then he won’t be upset/mad right?

Honestly…here are my thoughts: You’re 22, in the U.S., and have a job (so I’m assuming you’re educated). You said “yes” to an engagement from a guy in Pakistan who doesn’t have a job. And in all honestly…you ONLY know about him what others have told you. It’s not like you really know HIM that well. And to top it all off…the marriage isn’t for 3 more years!

What is your rush in getting engaged NOW…if you’re ok with waiting 3 YEARS to get married?!!

This is what I would do if I were you:

STOP texting/calling him. Wait and see if he makes contact with you. IF he does…then respond and slowly try to get to know him. Again…you have 3 frigging years. Even IF he initiates contact…actually spend time seeing if you feel compatible with him. Now if let’s say 1-2 months goes by…and you don’t hear from him at all…then that should be a clear message to you that he’s also not that interested in you as his future wife. And THEN you can begin the talk of breaking this off.

Please don’t say “yes” to this guy (or any other guy) just b/c you think “good guys” are hard to find. That “desperate” mentality will get you into a unhappy marriage. And don’t for a minute fool yourself into thinking that an unhappy marriage is somehow “better” than being single. You’re 22…there’s no rush.

thanks for the advice alot of the things u said r right