So everyone knows my husband ie usually a nice guy etc etc blah blah today I wasn’t feeling too good had a pain in my ribs I felt.
He came to ask me on the morning if I was OK I said yeah its OK he asked if I’m.able to get up ( I thought he meant how bad was the pains) so I just said yes although the pain was there
So he then said OK if u OK.can u iron dads shirt he’s doing it himself???
Wtf
How dare he ask me that when I am unwell
He would have done himself however he was already late for work.but I’m.really angry that the asked.me to iron a shirt when I told.him.I don’t feel well.
why didn't you coolly say to him, "honey, i ain't feelin' good, can you please iron your dad's shirt for me? thank you!" ... followed by an evil smile! :D
You're regressing. No, don't explode at him for this. At least he bothered asking; some husbands cannot even manage that. He's not going to sit there and decipher whether your "okay" meant that you're literally okay and fine (which is how guys in general would interpret it) or if it mean that you're 60% percent unwell and since that's more than half then that means you can't and won't tend to any domestic chores. He's no mind reader. So if you're truly not well enough to where you need rest and can't do any sort of labor....then let him know. As for you saying "how dare he".....calm down, Nadz. I bet if you had told him right away that it's painful for you to walk around/exert yourself....he wouldn't have pushed you, he would have understood. So, please don't regress back to the former days and former attitude when your relationship has started going well MashaAllah.
But after when r came to ask me I just said yeh I was OK.not meaning OK enough to do work butok enough that in alive and wont die
If I was his mum.or dad.he would.have asked.countless times regardless and not make them get up at all
His mum and dad are not only older than you....they're plain old. They may seem fit as a fiddle to you, but as people age they become more vulnerable to a host of medical problems and they don't have the strong immune system you do so it's natural for him to become more alarmed with his parents than you.....and you already know this as you are educated. Consider the example that if a woman in her 20s such as yourself were to experience numbness in her arms....it would be less worrying than an elderly person (such as your in-laws) displaying the same exact symptom cuz it could be a sign of heart trouble. Just stop competing with them. I once read this quote in a book that whenever you compete with another woman, you degrade yourself. So quit degrading yourself.
"OK" means okay. Look it up in the dictionary. There's nothing about the word "OK" that suggests that you are even 1% unwell. You should have been more specific and told that you're not as worse as before but not completely well either. And I have a feeling that if you had been specific he would have understood and let you relax....because he's actually mature and flexible like that even if he's not the mind reader you want him to be.
Quit bringing every issue back to how he'd react if it was his parents. You and his mother are two different relationships with two different dynamics....you're both not the same age, you don't have the same health, etc etc. It's childish to even create a thread on this. MOVE ON!!!
Since when did snapping do anybody any good? It's usually made a bigger mess for me. Just don't do it. It's not worth it. The more you lose your cool with someone....trust me....one day that person will give up on you to where you won't be able to get them back. So keep breathing and stay calm cuz seriously....you really don't even have a valid case for exploding at him, so you'll just sound stupid and petty. Keep your dignity and your marriage intact ...by letting this one go woman.
Is it so hard just to say what the problem is? Like seriously, 99.9999% Of the fights my parents have are because my mother/father don't communicate properly during the situation. Instead of saying "I'm okay" Just be honest and say "It hurts so badly that i can't......" do whatever it is that you can't do. Maybe you said you were okay not to worry him, I don't know. But you said that you're okay then he probably interpreted it as you being OKAY. Either say what you feel or just deal with it. Your anger is pointless and for a very stupid cause.
