Real Life, Real Issues

Lifestyle Relationships
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Supernova wrote the facts about the female life.

I myself an engineer, my wish was also to stay home n enjoy nouse life but the things as supernova mentioned above compelled to come out n face this rude world… :teary2:

Not every1 life is same as misswrong mentioned but there are more in worse condition than us…

But I believe ALLAH, if HE has wriiten in my fate then HE definietly did something best for me…

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thank you princess Ku … yaar i didnt hav any personal grudges against any1 jst sharing my view thts all … misswrong knows it very well:chai:

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totally agree with you deeba and supernova!!!! I wrote a long post...but forget it...many will still feel the same way. But to recap.... (haha, ok so this turned into a long post again.... )

I like having a choice to make my life how I want it...and I'm happy with the path that I have chosen and If I have any difficulties, it is b/c of my choices and as long as your are OK with the direction of your life path, then things will turn out fine.

I have no regrets and honestly, I would rather have the ability to have an opinion and my own mind then to live the rest of my life as a pretty doll, who depends on someone else for everything.

Because I don't think like you.....I can be a housewife, or a Physicist and I would rather go shop for things with my own choice in the heat, in the dirty markets ( who are full of hardworking people making an honest living) than to be sitting at the veranda with my jewels selecting someone else's idea of what you should buy...

Us independent girls are also beautiful, know how to cook/run a house, have a family and even know to change a damm tire. Only difference is, we know how to help ourselves and others along the way by depending only on our God and ourselves.

so enjoy your princess lifestyle.... Clearly you truly are a "girl" and not a mature woman.

Words I live by....

"Men insist that they don’t mind women succeeding so long as they retain their “femininity”. Yet the qualities that men consider “feminine” timidity, submissiveness, obedience, silliness, and self-debasement—are the very qualities best guaranteed to assure the defeat of even the most gifted aspirant."

"The woman came from a man’s rib — not on his feet to be stepped on; not on his head to be superior, but on his side to be equal; under his arms to be protected and near his heart to be loved.”

You can still be loved and protected in this world and still be your own person instead of a doll who gets taken care of ,then thrown away...b/c she can't do stuff on her own.

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Monkeymirch :k:.. misswrong :k:

To create a happy, loving home both men and women have to work together. thts all end of story :chai:

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I have a feeling it won't be the end.....

but chalo...lets be civil tonight...where is Edal??? would love to hear his viewpoint!

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Edal ko misswrong ne chupa ka rakha hai kaheen safe house mai :cb:

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It's great if a woman stays at home and her husband/father treats her like a princess, but that shouldn't be everyone's expectation nor does everyone's life work out like that. Sometimes husbands are bad, fathers aren't able to provide, and sometimes, and I know this may be so so so so hard for everyone to comprehend, a woman is truly happy going out in bazaars and doing the "sar khapay" and talking to "lallu panjus" (who are there to make a living, not to get into your shalwar).

If you're happy being at home and not doing anything, good for you, but don't put down women who do like to go out and work.

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i love working :)

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shahzaadi aap toa ghussa akr gayen :smiley:

Now i didnt like you to Mention this example of Umhat el Momineen Hazart Khadija (R.A)
YES she was a business woman. But did you ever bother reading how she used to deal with customer :smilestar: she had a male slave “Moyaser” who used to do all the dealings on Her behalf. She was not the one going and meeting and dealing with customers her self . Mind it..before giving an example you need to know details about it. :emmy:

Rest in your case off course you dont have any other option and you are working for your family…thats fair enough. No need to get offensive :smiley:

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Dear supernova.....see the part in red???? just because she opposed working 'WITHOUT NEED'....doesn't mean she is against all sort of working women or those going out in market..so the thing she said is 'IF YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT EARNING ENOUGH,FATHER CAN'T SUPPORT,BROTHERS DON'T CARE......ITS PERFECTLY ALRIGHT TO WORK'.......so that takes care of most of what you said..

Now, the question about 'working' together.....do you people really think that women who go out work 'UNNECESSARILY (meaning without any financial compulsion').....
you think their family doesn't suffer?
you think their kids don't miss their mom?
you think they are
able to give love,comfort to their kids n husband?

i am talking about married working women without financial difficulty

, if they are working..they still expect their husband to do all the household expenditure..because what she earns is 'HERS' and here they also bring islam that a woman's earning is her right and man has no right.......how is that helping her man? she is working and ignoring her kids, and the money she brings is again to be spent on her sole discretion...

P.S Its ok to work when there are few responsibilties and children have grown up to highschool or something when they can take care of themselves...

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Thanx Nomica…You cleared my point of view in better way :lajawab:

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Oh B.B you would love talking to EVERYONE who is not getting into your shalwar :faizy: is that the your boundary line :emmy:

And yes…like i said i dont mind everyone has right to live the way they want to. Its women’s pick they enjoy being khawar and meeting every lallu panjju. Icant change their standards :mocking:

p:s i dont understand why all girls are after me if i have tried to share my opinion. main kon se unn ke jobs charwwa de hain :konfused:

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I totally agree with her .:lajawab:I was jst sharing my personal views in general … No offend n nothing personal .:@:

so cut the story short … women have the right to choose what they want to do. If they want to work, then let them work. If they wanna sit at home and it is possible then they can do that. We shouldnt judge what they do or their choices. …thts all :@:

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What's Khawar?? Someone please translate!

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Why just high school? Surely when a younger kid (eg 4/5/6 yrs old) starts regular full-time school it wouldn't make much of a difference if the mother wasn't at home whilst he/she wasn't there? (And before anyone says 'what about picking him/her up or being there afterwards?' there are plenty of jobs inc part-time ones where the mother could do that)..

Also, making out that working mothers ignore their children more is ridiculous.. Just as many stay at home mothers ignore their kids by sitting at home watching Bollywood movies or those stupid desi serials..

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Misswrong, let me say something here..

These working women who are working without the 'need' to, their husbands too are enjoying the lifestyle that two incomes bring. Thali do hathon se bajti hain. (I'm talking about the general scene)

Now you might say men need to be taught/compelled to take care of us like princesses, but gender excuses are not my kind of thing. If he's a grown up man, he knows what he wants. If he married a working women out of choice, then that's what he wanted.

That said, I completely respect your opinion. It's different but if it works for you, good for you.

I'm happy having some power to make independent decisions. That way I don't have to think twice about a cheating husband (In one place you implied that women should still work on such a relationship but not everyone thinks like that). But life's only way of being unfair is not to give someone a cheating husband. Many other things can happen.

If something happens to my husband and he can't take care of us, then I don't want to go back to my father and brothers and I'm not princess enough to leave my husband and look for another one who will care for me. They didn't sign up to take care of me and my family forever. If I'm working already, then I won't have to take time to up date my education and go through the hassle of finding jobs and establishing myself. Actually even 'time' is not a concern in these situations. The confidence level is. It's amazingly hard to go from being a princess to an average joe on the street looking for a job.

If my brothers turn out to be good for nothing bums, then I don't want my parents to worry about their old age neither would I expect my husband to contribute. It will be very hard for them to spend my husband's money. I want to be there for all that.

Such misfortune may or may not happen. Even if it doesn't, I'm not happy being confined to four walls. I want to go out, I want to shop, I want to experience the hul-chul the world has to offer. There is lots of beauty outside. Yes, sometimes it's nice to have everything at your doorstep from food to clothes to what not but not always.

But in general, pursuing and achieving things is as fun and even more gratifying than being given things.

Today, if I get a guarantee from God that none of the above will happen (my husband will always be loving, monogamous and faithful, I will die before him and he will live until my children are independent, and my parents won't ever need me financially), I WILL choose to be taken care of. I will rely on him financially, completely. However, instead of working, I would put all the skills I have acquired toward volunteering in the same profession but for a lesser time so that I can still be out there and get my share of intellectual stimulation and also make a difference to the world (this is important to me). I would be there for my kids and husband when they are going to school/work and when they come back, but in the mean time, I would go out there and make a difference 'just for the sake of it. '

**So please don't reduce working women to selfish humans who want to have an arsenal of brand names and want to quit a relationship at their whim and fancy or want to go interact with 'outside' men just to pass time. **

And just the same, I would say that working women should not demean house princesses as being dumb, gossipy individuals. They are making a difference to their families and doing what they want to do.

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I don't think misswrong has ever been outside Pakistan, she is basing all her opinions on Pakistani society where going to bazars is khuwari and where working women get ****ty bosses who yell at them, where women get servants waiting on them hand and foot and they only have to cater to their men's needs, where career means working in a crappy office pushing papers all day long.

Life mein aur bhi buhut hai karnay ko.... if all women thought like her, there would no female educators, doctors, scientists, astronauts, politicians, pharmacists, bio-technicians, etc. No achievements to talk about, or showing that we have brains too and that we can do really good in most professions like men do and we also can run countries and be an active part of the technical advancement in this world. We would be like Arabs then, who live a life of ayaashi cuz they have oil to sell, not even focused on getting education and thinking we own the world.

misswrong, have you ever achieved anything in life yet, do you know what it feels like? Its not all about earning money and buying stuff with it.
I can't believe there are actually such women out there who think life is just limited to having a career to earn money and spending it on clothes and basic needs, there's much more to life, Allah wouldn't have given us a brain otherwise.... any moron can go out there and earn x amount of money easily.

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:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I had never been outt of Pakistan :rotfl: :rotfl:

If God has given us brain then why do we still have MIL, BIL, SIL, FIL issues. Why do you girls have the same issues as pind ke jaahil ganwar women do have. why dont you guys have superior issues then them? You cant be equal to men…any man can give birth to a child? :omg: :omg:

No matter if you become CEO of any company women would be women. C 130 whose work is to transport the cargo (do the house hold) :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

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^We can be equal but different.. we have our particular strengths and weakness and so do they..

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Misswrong what's with you putting down the independent women theory but saying contradictory things in other places on GS?? Geez!