If ur best friend participated in ur ex-“fiancee”'s wedding, would she then be a true friend?
This friend knew about the relationship between person A and B. The boy’s parents didnt agree due to status differences. They had know each other for some years and it was a very serious relationship; they were ready to marry each other but then the boy backed off cuz of his parents.
Some months after he broke up, he got engaged to another girl, who happen to be daughter of the friends mother’s best friend.
In a situation like this, when u have always been there for ur friend..but she goes on and participates in every single ceremony of that wedding; dholkis, mehndi and wedding..while she knows that u still have feelings for this man deep inside ur heart…would u call her a true friend???
My head is still whirling from that description. However, it sounds like you've been hurt, but you need to get over it and move on. If your friend chooses to socialize with someone who has hurt you, oh well, they didn't hurt your friend. Besides, if a guy is not gonna marry you cuz he can't grow a pair of nuts and stand up to his parents for what he believes will make HIM happy, well then, you don't need to be with a loser like that in the first place.
The problem in our culture is that we go around trying to make our parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, the butcher and his Khaala, the tailor, the dhobi and his dog, all these people, we try to make them all happy and not ourselves. In the end, you can only make a handful of people happy, why not yourself?
I know what u mean. and I know that I must move on with my life, which I am trying to do!
My problem is not that he left me cuz of his parents. Right now my problem is my BEST friend who has been participating at his wedding!!!!I feel so hurt!!!she is divorced and I would never ever participate in her ex-husband's marriage.
Maybe I am too sensitive...or maybe she is careless!
wow u must be really hurt cuz i cant imagine my best freind doing that to me.....but i guess she went cuz of her mom if i got that part right...dont let something like this get between ur freindship....plus guys r not worth it cuz they always do that...hope u feel betta
~Saath dil kay chale dil ko nahi roka humnay
Jo na apna tha usay toot kay chaha humnay
Aik dhokay mein kati umr hamari sari
Kya bataein kisay paya kise khoya humnay~
hi
ya I am very hurt..every time she wants to meet me I just tell her that I am busy with something...so that I dont meet her and let her feel my anger towards her..
well, even though she went there cuz of her mum, then she still must have shown some respect to my situation..
I would never participate in her ex-husbands marriage...even if it was with my mum's best freind's daughter..I wud have the guts to say no to my mum...
Orange, believe it or not, but a very similar thing happened to me...the status difference thing came into play when things got very serious...it's a shame really that people born and raised in the West still have the backwards mentality of having the desire to marry someone on a more "equal" level so that the rest of the 'community' will be impressed. Unfortunately, that is the way the majority of people in our community are.
As I've been through a similar situation, all I can do is be here for you and tell you that you may be devastated at the moment, but things will get better as time goes by.
As for your friend, she ain't a true friend. I'm sure she must have been aware of how devastated you were and currently are. So for her to participate in this guys wedding is a kick in your face.
She should know where her loyalties lie. Obviously, they are not to you.
I'm so sorry for what you have endured. Again, as I've been through a similar situation, I can empathize with what you are feeling and what you have gone through.
Take care of yourself and be strong!!! I promise you, things will get better with time. It took me about a year, but nonetheless, things got better.
[quote]
Originally posted by aahmed: The problem in our culture is that we go around trying to make our parents, grandparents, uncles, aunties, the butcher and his Khaala, the tailor, the dhobi and his dog, all these people, we try to make them all happy and not ourselves. In the end, you can only make a handful of people happy, why not yourself?
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What about harmony among the immediate/extended family, which is a major contributor towards marital bliss; or the reverse...which can mostly lead to unhappiness. If the immediate family of one of say the guy is unhappy with the match...and they make the girl feel unwelcome...what does that do to the girl? Why would the girl want to be subjected to that? In these unfortunate circumstances...someone has to make a sacrifice. I don't think people make frivolous decisions in these matters...I think a lot of thought, and soul searching goes into it.
I say stuff her, know friend would be so inconsiderate of anothers feelings. I think your friendship is over in it's previous form at least. You should move on...in the same way your friend has moved on. After all if your friend doesn't treat your feelings with any respect, at least you should treat yourself some and call the friendship quits.
if you are SoooOOOOooooo furious…wait till her ex gets married i guess..for obviously you arent that close to her to be frank..and not that distant to not care…or do what i would do…call her up and keep a recording of elvis’hounddog ready ;
…when i said you wuz high class well taht wuz just a lie..well u never caught a rabbit and u aint no friend of mine
plus..donot judge others by standards that you make for YOURSELF…judge them by the standards that they have time and again adhered to..and stop worrying…a guy like that need not be on ur mind anymore..nor should any lafras associated with that sour relationship
Uniform ideas originating among entire peoples unknown to each other
must have a common ground of truth..*
thanks for ur replies..I dont have contact with this so called freind anymore..but she doesnt know why I keep telling her that I am so busy and cant meet her!
u know..its a very difficult period for me. That relationsship ended 1½ years ago!!!and I really have moved on with my life, have been focusing on my studies and doing great at uni!!!
but u know what..bad luck never comes alone!!!my parents forced me to marry a jerk back there in Pakistan 6 months after that relationship ended because they misunderstood things and made me feel like…dont even the words to describe what my mum’s evil words can make me feel like!!!
So here I am..left by the love of my life, whom I now hate so much!!!forced into marriage by my very own parents!!!and then…best freind betraying me like this!!!
ufff khudaya..what kind of sick world is this!!!I never wanted things to ned up like this..I just had a beautiful dream of having a happy family life..now things r so bad that my parents r threathing me to disown me and throw me out if I keep demanding divorce from that jerk in Pakistan!!!
Allah se dua karro, mere hallat behtar ho aur mera imaan in sab haalat ki wajja ke ba wajud qaim rahe…
Ah, sometimes parents are the ones who destroy their children’s life. Well, you know if you agreed to marry that jerk back then, you should’ve thought that marriage is a lifetime contract. I can’t say your life will be any better if you get a divorce from that guy. You’ll probably end up with someone whose already married and has a few children, who knows. Have you thought of that yet?? I think you’re still not over your last love and that’s what coming in your way. Well I don’t know exactly how your husband is but I think it’s too early for you to think of getting a divorce from him(Keep in mind this advice is from a 20-year-old girl- I haven’t experienced anything like this yet!). I hope you make a right decision for yourself. Good Luck!
ps.
I can understand your condition at this time, I know your going through a very difficult period.
oh dear orange... i´m sorry for u. one of the most painful thing in this world is losing the confidence in beloved freinds... but if she doesn´t share ur feelings maybe she´s not really great freind... i´m from a different culture, my replay could be a little selfish... but say to her what u feel. Let her know how exactly ur heart is.
And regard him... poor guy... he lost his opportunity for being happy... poor guy...
[quote]
Originally posted by Orange:
**dear this husband is a matric failed anghoota chaap who doest even work..my dad provides for him!can u believe it!!
Orange, you want divorce from that guy, its your right to get divorce, make ur parents understand that you don't want to spend all your life with someone that you don't like. Its not the end of the world. Divorce does not mean that you you will not get another husband. But plz don't call another human being jerk, he might not be what you want in your husband but calling him a jerk is unfair, as you must not be the only one who is suffering, think of ur husband, he must know that his wife does not want him, so try to understand his feeling too, you never know that someday that matric failed anghoota be ur ideal and u can't have him anymore, think over it.
Hey Orange girl,
what rotten luck!
Keep your head up high and take the initiative in your life and responsibility for your choices.
a bigggggg hug to you.