I believe there is a clear difference between parents willingly and happily giving some presents to their daughter, and the cultural and social obligation to drain every last drop of blood out of your body and present it to the maharaaj who is blessing the family with his willingness to marry their daughter.
There are certain bollocks ideas we have adopted from the mixed culture of the subcontinent. The modern concept of jahez comes under the same league. Bride's parents are expected, and in often cases demanded to give certain 'presents' to their daughter. There should be no such implied obligations associated with marriage. And when people pull out their beards and turbans to justify these sick practices in the light of islam, it is disgusting. If the maharaj doesn't afford a fridge, tv, bed, furniture and paanday, the butthead should reconsider the idea of getting married.
Excellent reply !
I believe there is a clear difference between parents willingly and happily giving some presents to their daughter, and the cultural and social obligation to drain every last drop of blood out of your body and present it to the maharaaj who is blessing the family with his willingness to marry their daughter.
There are certain bollocks ideas we have adopted from the mixed culture of the subcontinent. The modern concept of jahez comes under the same league. Bride's parents are expected, and in often cases demanded to give certain 'presents' to their daughter. There should be no such implied obligations associated with marriage. And when people pull out their beards and turbans to justify these sick practices in the light of islam, it is disgusting. If the maharaj doesn't afford a fridge, tv, bed, furniture and paanday, the butthead should reconsider the idea of getting married.
bhai
u r talking about our social behavior while iwas talking about the nature.
since the act is sunnat nobody have got the right to call is curse.
and please dont quote the extreme situation............ if the ppl giving the jahez to their own daughter its up to them ......... like one of our family friend she has got 70 tolas gold in her jahez ....... so who are we to object on it.
only objectionable thing is that groom/his family demanding dowry........... thats bad.
bhai
u r talking about our social behavior while iwas talking about the nature.
since the act is sunnat nobody have got the right to call is curse.
and please dont quote the extreme situation............ if the ppl giving the jahez to their own daughter its up to them ......... like one of our family friend she has got 70 tolas gold in her jahez ....... so who are we to object on it.
only objectionable thing is that groom/his family demanding dowry........... thats bad.
Gold goes to the girl herself ! Jahez is more of the house hold items that is given as dowry. I sometimes wonder if the guys side of the family is living in stone age before they get their son married I mean kitchen items , air conditioner , fridge , tv , can't we find these things in every house hold ? these are necessities ! how were they managing their lives before they got their son married ? were they waiting all these years for their sons to grow up and get them married so they all these luxuries in their house ?
Should only be"married or unmarried?"
Yes, it's on there.
I think it would have been better if they used "single" or something.
Guys, really??? You think a "married" girl would be getting another nikah done? The intent of the question is to know whether the girl was "never married before, widowed, or divorced".
so, which one is it? does Islam give equals/less/more rights to women than men? apart from the Islamic angle, are women men's equals now or what? if they're, why do they need haq mehr?
Haq mehr is to a woman what most of the inheritance is to a man.
Equivilate that and then discussions about equality can begin.
**I sometimes wonder if the guys side of the family is living in stone age before they get their son married I mean kitchen items , air conditioner , fridge , tv , can't we find these things in every house hold ? **these are necessities ! how were they managing their lives before they got their son married ? were they waiting all these years for their sons to grow up and get them married so they all these luxuries in their house ?
u r rite ........... but u forgot to realise the fact that enlightened, educated and right-concious women of this era dont want to live in their in laws............ ;)
they want separate home from the very first day of their marriage ( as mentioned somewhere in UN charter of basic women rights .....lols)
Re: Reading Your Nikkah Nama
^ so if she wants a separate house, then its ok to ask her to bring everything from the airconditioner to the very chamcha you will later use to finish your weyah's biryani.
Living separate or with the family, thats a whole new issue - which should be discussed and agreed upon beforehand.