Re: Rape.
if he considers her damaged goods, then he is just as a low-life as the person who raped her and there shouldn't be any place for him in her life.
if however, he is not sure of her psychological state, and thinks he can't handle it, then you can give him the benefit of the doubt.
Re: Rape.
I am sure she is going to be rejected by majority of men. OUt of 1000 , may be 1 will agree to marry her. and there too no gurantees that he will not remind her of her past during arguments.
Mardon ka dill agar itna barra hota… tou kiya hi baat thi :halo: If feel even the guy who raped her, wont marry her. sad but … true 
Re: Rape.
Has the girl moved on from the trauma? If she's moved on.......if it's not hindering her in any way.....then maybe it's better if she keep this to herself.
Has the girl moved on from the trauma? If she's moved on.......if it's not hindering her in any way.....then it's better if she keep this to herself.
hmm what if her future husband gets to know about it through someone else ? or by any other mean ? then it would count as deceiving. & then she would be all set for some serious trouble.
like Fairy Tale said kash mardo ka dil itna bara nahi hota
Re: Rape.
^ yes i agree. May be she should move to some new place if possible. coz ppl around her wont let her live a normal life.
Re: Rape.
People forget that the person raped is not the only victim. The victim's family suffers with her. Being raped is something you don't get over, it will always haunt her on some level. She will never be the same and those around her can never be the same. The guy marrying her has to be man enough to understand that her sense of security was stolen from her and her family and she probably will be looking over her shoulder for the rest of her life. It's a big responsibilty and I hope she finds a big enuf man whose willing to make her feel safe again.
Re: Rape.
I honestly feel that such girls should be given enuff courage and support so their morale is raised and they gain that lost confidence or at least try to!!!!
In my office there is this Sri Lankan guy who married another Sri Lankan lady who was raped. He said, i don't care wat the world thinks. She also deserves to live!!!
Re: Rape.
For a girl it is better to tell the complete truth to her better half to be. And for guys I just feel like shooting them. They have no courtesy. They are the ones who spoil the life of a girl. If the man is sensible he shud understand, support her and care for her more. God only knows what that girl is going thru. May God be with everyone.
Re: Rape.
korn i salute that guy. Seriously there are very few, or I must say hardly one or two in the full world who shud be called a MAN. lucky that girl is.
Re: Rape.
yes Maha, she is lucky. I saw her the other day bringing food for her hubby. How sweet it was. She was all decorated and a happy person AGAIN!!!!!
:)
She must tell any prospective rishta in advance. There must be many men willing to take her but they must know all the truth beforehand.
If she tries to hide it, people will think she is guilty conscious.
if she tries to hide it, it could be because she simply doesn't want to bring up horrible memories which have no importance anymore. she has the right to a happy future, even if that means hiding a horrible secret which wasn't her fault. that is between her and allah swt now.
i don't think the girl should have to tell anyone, if she doesn't want to. just as the guy isn't expected to tell his future wife about his past relationships, if he doesn't want to.
Re: Rape.
Firstly i would pray that this never happens to any sister.
Secodly if it is no fault of the woman i question I:E she was not drunk etc and she was just taken advantage of without being able to do anything then Allah forbid i would not be able to take it or bear it... offcourse it would be no rejection reason i would probably still marry her.
And if Allah na kareh this was to happen to any woman i would gladly kill each rapist one by one... i just need an excuse like this.
Re: Rape.
She was raped by someone she knew in college, it was the whole he liked her, tried to have a relationship with her but she just wasn't interested in him or anyone for that matter. His way of overcoming the rejection was to have his way with her. He's in jail and will be for a very long time I hope. It took her a very very long time to get over it, dropped out of college and pretty much became a loner until she managed to talk herself out of it. I don't think she's 100% over it because I honestly don't think thats ever possible but she is not 'damaged goods' as he put it. She met the guy a handful of times and they really really hit it off, you know how they say theres a spark and you know its the right person? she said it was that kind of a feeling, her parents didnt want her to tell him but she insisted. What annoys me though is that I am willing to bet my life savings on the fact that he is NOT a virgin. So how is it okay for him to reject her when he himself is not 'pure'.
Maybe it was his parents pressuring him to say no? Either way I think she deserves a effing explanation, not just a 'I don't think it's gonna work out' phonecall. The girl just poured her heart out, shared all of her fears with you and all you have to say is I don't think it's gonna work out?
The last thing a girl needs is to have men look down on her after one has already ruined her life.
Re: Rape.
How sad, that stroy has wrenched my heart, the rapist should be sentenced to death!
This has put me in an awfull mood right now. Allah help that poor girl.
I truly fear for all Sisters who live in such sorrow... but i blame her relatives too for not looking after her while she was at college has she no brothers no honourable male relatives who could have gaurded her and acted as chaperone.
I too have sisters and this is shocking...
Allah give us all strenghth and patience such situations make me feel helpless sometimes how can i live when another sister has been violated like this what use is our strength if things come to this!
Death to rapists!
Re: Rape.
^ oh poor gal. this is so sad 
my heart goes out for her 
I can imagine how you feel when you love someone from depth of your heart and all of sudden he comes and talks about quiting or things like “dont think its gonna work” kind of talk.
he is a low life. give him a thappar if you can plz. bohat sawaab millay ga.
^ what I feel is that he just wanted to be her husband. when she told him about the rape he should have acted as a friend and really whom so ever she will marry will have to behave like a friend when it comes to her past and this dude just didn't want to support her like a friend. Like I said he is just looking for husband and wife relationship. Marriage is about accepting each others faults & drawbacks too and to me he was just looking for a perfect wife and the rape issue just made her imperfect in his eyes .
I don't think you or she can ever understand his way of thinking. It's really hard to understand someone who does not show empathy to others. You will never find answers it will be just a waste of time.
I will again say that she is very lucky that she came to know his real face at right time. Who ever will marry her will certainly be someone who is a nice human being.
Re: Rape.
Personally I dont have a problem with it but I'd also not hold it against some guy who in fact have a problem with this.
Only problem have is giving degrading labels to the girl. That is totally unacceptable.
Re: Rape.
^ Thats a good way of putting it friend. :k:
She was raped by someone she knew in college, it was the whole he liked her, tried to have a relationship with her but she just wasn't interested in him or anyone for that matter. His way of overcoming the rejection was to have his way with her. He's in jail and will be for a very long time I hope. It took her a very very long time to get over it, dropped out of college and pretty much became a loner until she managed to talk herself out of it. I don't think she's 100% over it because I honestly don't think thats ever possible but she is not 'damaged goods' as he put it. She met the guy a handful of times and they really really hit it off, you know how they say theres a spark and you know its the right person? she said it was that kind of a feeling, her parents didnt want her to tell him but she insisted. What annoys me though is that I am willing to bet my life savings on the fact that he is NOT a virgin. So how is it okay for him to reject her when he himself is not 'pure'.
Maybe it was his parents pressuring him to say no? Either way I think she deserves a effing explanation, not just a 'I don't think it's gonna work out' phonecall. The girl just poured her heart out, shared all of her fears with you and all you have to say is I don't think it's gonna work out?
The last thing a girl needs is to have men look down on her after one has already ruined her life.
F**ing Ba*tard!
Re: Rape.
I hope this kind of sh** doesn't happen to anyone. I would be okay with it as long as she tells me before marriage and i hear it from her, not from someone else.
If she tells me everything honestly, I would happily accept her. Because, let's face it, it wasn't her fault so why should she be punished? I would also make sure that the person who did this to her gets the punishment he deserves (either from law or personally from me!)