How would you judge a guy who rejected a rishta because he found out the girl was raped? Obviously it was completely out of the girls control, but she felt that before pursuing the rishta she should tell him clearly exactly what happened, even though her family wanted her to hide it.
Is she damaged goods now?
I don’t get it.
Guys what would your reaction be?
Same question for the girls, would you share or hide it? (Allah na karay it ever happens to any of you).
(P.s This isn’t about me)
Re: Rape.
I have not got a problem with it. I would do my best to support her, God knows what she will be going thru. At the end of the day she did nothing wrong ( unless she was drunk etc ).
may Allah save everyone from this terrible thing.
Re: Rape.
He's not worth it if he labels her as 'damaged goods.'
Why should she be held accountable for something that was beyond her control?
Re: Rape.
Wouldn't and shouldn't matter
Only thing of concern will be her psychological state and whether she has/will recover fully for it and whether that would affect the relationship between a couple or not. Other than that any guy who thinks she is 'damaged goods' is an utter baykoof.
She must tell any prospective rishta in advance. There must be many men willing to take her but they must know all the truth beforehand.
If she tries to hide it, people will think she is guilty conscious.
Re: Rape.
God forbids, if it ever happens with me (
)…i will tell the guy. (ALLAH SWT cheyee tu kisi k dill main bhi meray leya rehm-respect-love dal saktay hian, cheyeain to meray per aik churhail ko bhi preference day saktay hain)
as for the for the guy, its his life and he has every right to make this decision. if he thinks he cant digest this, he can move on to some other girl. I dont want any “favours in the name of humanity”.
In reality, I trust ALLAH SWT blindly in every single aspect of my life. inshaALLAH HE SWT will grant me someone worthy of my honesty, integrity and piousness. Ameen
If it happened to me I'd have to tell him. There's absolutely no way I could hide something like that away from someone I'd quite possibly be spending the rest of my life with. Besides, I'd want and need the emotional support. If that means he might reject me...so be it. At least it sorts out the tossers from the decent guys.
Re: Rape.
If it ever happened to me..I would tell him...I will never hide something like that...no matter what or who...these kind of information should not be hidden.
Re: Rape.
Khena bohat asan hay buy no one accepts the girl shady kay wakat sab bhag jatay hain .
I’d think he was a moron..
Btw in Islam u don’t have to declare rape or consensual sex tho of course if u want to get it off ur chest that’s down to u.. I know in the case of pre-marital consensual sex it’s recommended to keep quiet and not disclose ur sins..
How messed up is this :(: http://www.bangladeshnews.net/story/592803
Wouldn't and shouldn't matter
Only thing of concern will be her psychological state and whether she has/will recover fully for it and whether that would affect the relationship between a couple or not. Other than that any guy who thinks she is 'damaged goods' is an utter baykoof.
very well stated.
Khena bohat asan hay buy no one accepts the girl shady kay wakat sab bhag jatay hain .
Unfortunately, a good friend of mine (who was not even muslim at the time) was raped at a young age. Later on, a pakistani guy married her (knowing that this had happened to her). She converted to Islam and mashAllah they have a beautiful family together. So there are good people out there.
How would you judge a guy who rejected a rishta because he found out the girl was raped? Obviously it was completely out of the girls control, but she felt that before pursuing the rishta she should tell him clearly exactly what happened, even though her family wanted her to hide it.
Is she damaged goods now?
How would you judge a guy like that? Don't even bother with judgment. It's a waste of your time to even think about him. The girl should be grateful that he rejected her....because that has cleared the way for her to find a better guy.
As to why he rejected her....could be that he wants a "pure" girl. Could be that he doesn't believe that the girl was raped and thinks that maybe it's a cover-up for consensual sex which would give the impression that she is "loose."
Could even be that the guy rejected her for some other reason (incompatible personality, family background, etc) and since it's not easy to explain the reason for rejection....it leads to assumptions.
Either way....spend your time on someone who is more worthy of it.
Khena bohat asan hay buy no one accepts the girl shady kay wakat sab bhag jatay hain .
not true, u have one example below. I know of others as well.
Unfortunately, a good friend of mine (who was not even muslim at the time) was raped at a young age. Later on, a pakistani guy married her (knowing that this had happened to her). She converted to Islam and mashAllah they have a beautiful family together. So there are good people out there.
Re: Rape.
^Exactly. There are some guys who wouldn't be bothered by it, just as there are those who would also marry women who lost their virginity out of choice as well..
Everyone has the right to make their own choice... but if I were in the guy's position and if that was the sole issue, I would definitely marry her. If a woman can have that much respect for the guy, she definitely will make a great wife. He will probably regret his decision later.... either way.. I hope she doesn't give up, and keeps searching....
Re: Rape.
Why should this be the one thing that defines her?
**She must tell any prospective rishta in advance. **There must be many men willing to take her but they must know all the truth beforehand.
If she tries to hide it, people will think she is guilty conscious.
I disagree. If I were in that situation, I wouldn't tell the person until I was comfortable with it and could trust the person enough with that bit of information. Personally, I wouldn't even marry the person until I could develop the trust to be able to share such a thing.
But I do not think it is mandatory for a girl to tell the future inlaws/husband about a rape incident. Telling such a thing is basically perpetuating the belief that that unscathed piece of skin is what makes or breaks a woman.
^Exactly. There are some guys who wouldn't be bothered by it, just as there are those who would also marry women who lost their virginity out of choice as well..
..or by choice, whether it was a mistake whether it was a lifestyle that has since been abandoned. What matters now is the person now, not what someone did in their past, if that was so new converts would always be looked down upon. some people can handle it, some can not. The key is that a person who can not handle it is not brought into life then.
that being said, i was reading that with something like rape, marriages do end, and its less due to the physical aspect of it but psychological impact one one or both people in the relationship that damages it.
Re: Rape.
The guy is a looser here because he certainly lost someone who was honest and he was lucky to get someone like that but I feel what he is seeking in marriage is "virginity" or "purity" rather than someone who is a nice person at heart !
I have no doubts that there are many men out there who will be proud to have her as wife but I am also sure that there will be more of such type of people who will label her as used good etc etc. May be it's a different scenario in Pakistanis living abroad but over here in Pakistan itself I don't think there are many such good guys around.
I am hopeful the girl will find someone who deserves her.