Rape victims are not victims??

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1

well this question has been on my mind for quite some time, and after reading the ‘PK virgin revolution’ thread i thought it’s time i ask. i think it’s already been asked before, but cant find the thread:bummer:

ok so when a girl’s raped why does her family have to suffer and gets insulted and looked down upon. and in most cases no one’s ready to marry her? why does she have to pay for something she didnt wish for? why does her being raped result into her murder by her own family members(so-called honor killings)??
doesnt the whole society have to work together and look for the one responsible for it and give comfort to the victim? why does getting raped bring shame on the girl’s family? is it because they failed to protect her? if this is the case tehn shouldnt the family members get punished for not protecting her instead of the victim?

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Its very unfortunate i must say what a rape victims goes thru esp after the rape. All that the girl and her family has to suffer is really sickening because its of no fault of their own. I wish and pray that no girl has to suffer such pain.

As for nobody willing to marry her? Well its sad but i dont know if i can really blame anyone for it. Having being raped doesnt only have physical effect but i think alot more emotional too. So if somebody is not strong enough to marry someone who may need alot of emotional support, then thats unfortunate but i am not sure if i can really call them bad people. Weak definately but bad, i don't think so.

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

^exactly, why should the girl and her family suffer after all that has happened to them..

the second paragraph of yr answer....i get your point...but sadly most of the people dont refuse to marry raped girls because of that reason, it's just the for the same reason the shun the family that they dont marry these girls/women...it's like after the rape, the girl in question is now filthy not worth of any respect and that's why they dont wanna marry them...some people would even go as far as breaking their engagements with such girls..

if this is not despicable then what is it?

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The problem is, you cannot force anyone to choose a certain life partner no matter how sad the situation is.

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It is! Especially when you are engaged to someone, its like you take them as your life partner already. In such a case, i would think the guy should be emotionally strong enough to deal with such a situation. However noone can deny the society pressures n all, its not right but it is all there around us and we have 2 deal with it. So in the end, its a test of how strong you are as a person and what your priorities are.

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

This is very sensitive issue.

However there are two main differences, one scenario is the classical one... evil guy targets simple girl and it's a clear case... the community should back the girl and i for one would gladly kill the guy.

Howevr scenario two is the modern one... girl herself does not take precautions and goes out and gets raped, then the girl is just as stupid as the wicked guy who did it... so both are to be blamed.... and in my rough and ready style of justice both would be... shall we say removed from the community.

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

well in most cases no one is so dumb as to not be very careful abt this issue. the girl may try to avoid this and then still gets raped:hinna:
ok let’s forget about all this and we all know that in most cases girls are very careful as far as this issue is concerned, isnt it time the society changes its views/opinions abt such kinda victims? and be more understanding and sympathetic?

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completely disagree, what your definition of precaution is may be different for someone else, and a victim can not be blamed for the crime that is committed against them.

the girl is not 'just as stupid' as the wicked guy who did it, the guy is a criminal and not 'stupid' and equating the girl to the rapist is just pathetic.

sa-Nafooz, uts ideas like this one which ostracize the girl and her family, because to someone out there teh girl would always be just 'as stupid' as the rapist, there would always be people who would say, she had something to do with it, smiled too much, talked to someone, wore thing, smelled that way, showed her ankle type of stuff.

Its not a surprise that many rapes dont ger reported, and especially girls who are molested by a family member of family friend stay mum about it because speaking up will only label them as something and be something rough for the family. rough and ready opinions destroy the lives of victims and victimize them further, as if the trauma of rape would not be traumatic enough and building life after such and ordeal, but knowing that there are people out there holding you responsible and looking down at you and advocating things like removal from community..especially without proper counseling services available to many, the victim is thus victimised again and again.

society needs to grow up.

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Before criticizing the society Juts ask from ur self that will u be ready to marry your brother or son with that kind of girl ??? Of course never!!! Give me the reasons?
You and me are the part of our society and first we ve to change ourselves then put finger on others …

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U know whats even sadder? I know someone who said they were molested as a child......yet when told about someone who was actually raped, they said the girl was asking for it and had it coming to her.

I really dont understand what went through the mind of that person when they made usch a judgment.

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Well, why should the rape even be known to the MIL/sister? What right do they have ot know about it?

its one of the things that should stay between a couple....no way in hell should the girl be obligate dto tell anyone beside her husband abt wat happened to ehr

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

^ Sara here sa-Nafooz asking the reasons Why and you are talking about MIL / sister ??? There is no discussion that should we tell MIL / sister about the rapped girl or not!!!!
BTW in Muslims 75% marriages done by parents and they look for a girl for their son. So they ve to be broad mind first !!

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

The answer is very simple: It's a male dominated society, has been for years, and it isn't going to change anytime soon. It's much easier to blame t he girl than point fingers at the real culprit.

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

:smack2: once again a traditional dialogue “male dominated society” …

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

^ yes and when you look at it, name one female dominated society that was ever any success.

Not being overly rude here but what happened to countries that were ruled by Women... Look at Britian what happened when Thatcher was in charge? Look at Bangladesh and Pakistan was the woman in charge any different or any more succesfull.

Also many Caribean households live in Matriarchal systems where the females are in charge of the house... And they have the highest crime rates and poorest education levels.

Now compare that top male domninated societies and i'm not saying theres a lot better but it is still better in many ways.

If i was analien looking at the systems i would say the male dominated societies work better.

Feminism really so doesnt work... if communism couldn't work i so doubt feminism will... even women are fed up with it.

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

blah blah blah blah blah =)

Please check the dictionary for the definition of patriarchal society, vs matriarchal society, and then say stuf...mmmk?

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Being honest I'd respect my brother more if he married a girl who'd been thru that..

Years and years ago after the Bangladeshi war for liberation there was a campaign encouraging men to marry those women and girls who'd been raped by soldiers. Dunno how well it worked but it shows that not everyone has that backward view that raped women are 'damaged goods' or were somehow 'asking for it.'

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It's not a fair comparison tho considering how small the number of matriarchal societies is.. In any case they both have their plus and minus points, one obvious example being poor mothers are more responsible when it comes to handling money than their husbands hence the reason charitable loans in many poor countries are targetted at woman rather than men cos they're less likely to p*** the money away..

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Re: Rape victims are not victims??

First, you all suck.

Second
(let me break it down)

If the girl who dressed obnoxiously get rape attempt on her.

1-Male who attempt should be punished for such a crime.
2- Girl should get therapy, NOW the other girls who dress as victim need to get whipped for dressing like that.

3-Male should be evaluated,

a-as if he was likely to rape ?? any previous record?

Or

b- its just a kid acting under raging hormones who could not resist temptation.

If "a" every ones goes home happy.
if "b" there is more work need to be done.

We are not here to protect nakedness religiously, that is only metropolitan western mentality in late 80/90 and so on.

I wont hurt women to watch what they do.

Before ppl say things, remember We are talking about a person who is not likely to rape under normal conditions!!

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What do you mean by "that kind of girl"? What kind of girl is she if she was brutally and unfairly taken advantage of? She's not some sort of 'untouchable' or 'damaged goods' just because of a situation that happened to her that was out of her control. With attitudes like this it's no wonder rape victims rarely come forward with evidence to prosecute their attackers. Then, these scum get away with it scot free and probably commit the crime again.