Re: Rape and Babies...
just my opinion but wouldn't having & keeping the baby help heal the womans mental scars by providing the only positive outcome out of such a terrible ordeal...the innocent child that she loves or grows too love. As far as problems with remarrying, any family who objects with their son raising anothers child wouldn't even consider marrying their son to woman who'd been raped or in most cases even divorced, so i don't agree with that argument.
Re: Rape and Babies…
LOL, main larki hoon 
Re: Rape and Babies…
Nahin nahin namaan aap ko personally help kerni chahyea 
Re: Rape and Babies...
Yaar I know its hard for them but problem is if we will not apply the ideal situation than things will not improve. Ok i agree she won't like that and baby and mother will be victim, but how we'll be able to get solution of this problem ???
The solution can only come if we change society and our selves with some moral values and don't consider mother and child as victims. Try to induct them into the main society as easily and as quickly we can.
If u have any other better solution than do share :)
As for me, I will if she is on right path and willing to let go of her past and move on. Zara Num ho ya miti, tu bari zarkhaaz ha saki :)
so expect her to be on the right path is asking for too much. a victim is seldom on the right path bcos of the conflicting emotions and trauma. its the responsibility of those who are near n dear to her to bring her back towards the normal life. you can't expect a victim to be rational in such cases.
as for society, forget about them. if you want to make a difference then do it, without thinking much about the society and consequences.
Re: Rape and Babies...
most abortions are because of peer pressure and about 'what the society will think'. mother and child's life becomes hell because of 'finger pointing' people. i agree that if 'society' stops judging people and starts minding their own damn business, we wouldn;t have abortion.
edit we will still have abortion but not as much
Re: Rape and Babies...
most abortions are because of peer pressure and about 'what the society will think'. mother and child's life becomes hell because of 'finger pointing' people. i agree that if 'society' stops judging people and starts minding their own damn business, we wouldn;t have abortion.
even those who will ask her to have the child...do you think they will be minding their own business by asking her to have the child? ok...lets say she agrees to have the child. whts next? who will support her and her child? who will provide her with moral and social support to face off the society (lets not forget we all are part of the same society we soo love to hate and blame every second)? 99.99% possibility is that she will not be able to live a normal life nor will be able to raise her child as a normal child. unless she find a man who accepts her n her child. so in the end we are putting the lives of 2 individuals at risk just bcos WE THOUGHT it was a RIGHT thing FOR HER TO HAVE THE CHILD OF THE RAPIST. ***to have or not to have, in the end [in most cases] is not a decision the victim makes herself. either way it comes from the people around her who just can't mind their own business at all.
Re: Rape and Babies...
what i am saying is that if we started minding our own business, most women will actually have a CHOICE in the matter of abortion. as for raising a child, i see many single mothers raising their kids here. western society is more open when it comes to these things, and so 'raped women's' life does not become hell. when it comes to rape, our society needs to be more accepting of it.
p.s. why does everyone assume that a woman needs a MAN in order to survive in this world. we are living in the 21st century people!!!!!
Re: Rape and Babies...
just for the sake of argument, will YOU marry a rape victim with a child of the rapist?
It's not that simple. The way i see it...most women won't go shouting that they were raped, especially when they have children from that incident. Most likely, they would even conceal the true situation from their own children, because they want to protect them. So now, the way i see it, if a guy comes along, it's only after they've developed a level of trust with each other that she will reveal this to him and by that point, i'm assuming, that situation alone will not deter him from marrying her. Most women are smart, they can tell if a guy is worth being with or not, and how he would take that news.
This is how i think it would play out...if everyone is mature and mentally sound and able. Of course the reality is different.
Re: Rape and Babies…
east n west are like apple and banana. they have nothing at all in common. why you ppl always have to being in western society when talking about eastern society. we are indeed living in the 21st century but that does not mean that as soon as the clock turned and we entered into the 21st century everything became western.
as for western society tolerating rape, well wht exactly do they not tolerate? i can name one thing…doubting holocaust. can you name any other?
ps: if a woman can live without a man then all the power to her. we need more women who can live without men and more children without fathers. afterall its the 21st century we are talking about. if we didn’t then ho sakta hai qayamaat ajaye. 
Re: Rape and Babies...
So why people think a woman should have abortion incase of a rape pregnancy. It was that child's fault that his/her father was a jerk. Why kill the child for a crime that child hasn't even commited?
STOP IT! This isn't about you and your issues! You have no right to pass judgment on any woman in such a situation. This isn't about you, it's about them. This thread does nothing but hurt people and feed your ego so you can ***** about things which don't pertain to you. I'm am SO offended by your blatant disregard for decency and your blatant misogyny in this thread. Get off your pedestal, this has nothing to do with you and your need to feel righteous. I'm asking that this thread be locked and removed. This is SO disgusting!
Re: Rape and Babies...
I still think personal responsibilities apart, but if we REALLY want to solve this issue than we have to put our heads together and come up with a solution. If we think that there should be some changes in legislature than we have to force government for that.
Let all brainstorm for SOLUTION and CHANGE
Re: Rape and Babies…
saieen, i really don’t want to get into an argument with u over this, but i would like u to think about the changes in pakistan before saying, ‘east n west are like apple and banana’. they have many many similarities now, and being a little more tolerant shouldn’t be a big deal for them!
Re: Rape and Babies...
Moderator's please lock and remove this thread.
Re: Rape and Babies...
Uff! When u are married to someone, they dnt necessarily rape u. The wife consents. To kiu us bachay ko y would u want to kill? Rape is a different aspect.
rape by definition is forced and unconsentual sex. it doesn't matter if you are married or not, if you are forced to have sex, it's rape.
as for keeping or not keeping the child, again it's the victim's decision. being raped is a traumatic experience in itself. the first instinct is to cleanse yourself, to get rid of anything that will remind you of the rapist, of the event. the unborn fetus is part of the deal. to be reminded of something in the face of a child is even worse. the first instinct of a mother is to love and protect the child. but the first instinct of a victim is to get rid of that reminder. imagine if the mother did go to full term with the pregnancy. what if once the child is born, she cant's stand to be near him/her. that child will have a worse fate. to be the child of a rapist, to be a child that is victimised and ridiculed by the world, and to be hated by his/her own mother. you can't say to the victim don't abort the child. but you can't say to the victim abort it either.
Re: Rape and Babies...
matinee, i am sure no one intended to offend you or anyone else here.
i have not known any rape victim personally, so i would never claim that i know what they should or shouldn't do. but i have known a divorce victim personally, who was forced into giving up her baby, because our 'eastern society' would not let her live in peace if she had kept it.
therefore, i believe that everyone should have a right to make their own decisions without worrying about being scorned by the society.
Re: Rape and Babies...
^ Don't even compare a divorce and a rape.
So many ppl ahve said it, it's about choice. not being forced to do something b/c of ppls thinkings.
i don't see this thread going any where AT ALL.
Re: Rape and Babies...
is it? especially when it involves domestic violence and rape also? and both women are scorned by the society, so there's not that big of a diff. i believe.
Re: Rape and Babies...
well think of u as a victim for one second and then make a decision
personally i dont think i will keep that child at all
and yeah forced sex is rape no matter who the rapist is
and if my hausband forces me to have sex and the baby
may be i will have the baby but i dont think i will ever be able to love that baby
so wats the use in having the baby ???
P.S: its sumthing personal dont think im imposing my judgements on u!!
Re: Rape and Babies...
DIvorce: the baby was already born. If she was in an abusive marriage and was somehow forced to give it up....that's sad. but its slightly different than if a woman is raped and is just in the beginning stages of her pregnancy. And.. i know this is more controversy, but in the begininng stages many ppl do not believe it is a baby/living breathing being.
Re: Rape and Babies...
exactly kali billi. that is something you would do in such a situation. maybe someone else is different and would want to do the opposite. so shouldn't they be allowed a choice?
sara, baby was born after the divorce