I was having a debate with someone recently about this…they’re the parents of a beautiful little girl.
Extremely concerned with the LGBT movement in the US. They feel this country is becoming too liberal and accepting of everything.
A major concern they expressed was:
How do I raise my child in accordance with Islam (which condemns homosexuality) in an American country that openly accepts LGBTs now? It was different when we were kids.
America says its okay, my teachers say its okay but mom and dad say its wrong.
How?
p.s. - co-mods please don’t move this thread - I feel it has more to do with our lifstyles.
I personally feel that it is not the government's job to teach or determine moral behavior. The only behavior the government should restrict/condemn is behavior that harms another human being.
Parents, families, community organizations, ethnic organizations, religious organizations, etc have the job of teaching morality to the next generation. I would not want to live somewhere where the government forces me to behave/believe a certain way.
America doesn't say homosexuality is okay. America says it is legal.
if it is legal, and kids go to school with kids of homosexual couples, and are taught by openly homosexual teachers, eat food cooked by non-closeted homosexual cooks, they will think all these homosexuals are normal people and not sickos.
Once upon a time, I and my Dad was in Poland, sitting in a cafe, enjoying hot coffee and suddelny a couple in their mid 30's came inside, who were completely naked, ordered, received their order and vanished, it was all very normal for waitress, locals sitting there, cafe-staff except us.
After that awkward moment it took us atleast a day to have eye contact.
America says that it's illegal to kill, harm, or discriminate against gay people. It affords these privileges to atheists as well (which is a growing demographic in the US). Are your friends worried about atheists? I guess it's easy to dismiss ideas as heresy, but it's harder to explain to your child why their teacher, neighbour, or friend, who are otherwise great human beings, are somehow bad people for being homosexual.
Ironically, many conservative Christians feel the same way about Islam. How do you teach your kids that Islam is wrong, and that Jesus Christ is your personal lord and saviour, when the government says that it's okay to be Muslim.
Tell them not to worry: we all get the chance to screw up our kids in our own special way.
^ is it just me or is your username in this conversation like the elephant in the room lol
We grew up in the same type of environment. Though the problem wasn't LGBT in our time, but there were still other things considered normal/ok at the time that we had to avoid. So I'd say that with the home environment, these types of things can be overcome.
I remember speaking to an Imam in Montreal 2 years ago who told me a story: a man came into his mosque and asked to speak with him. The man identified as Muslim but told the Imam that he was conflicted about something. He said he wanted to be close to God and felt the need to pray, even more so in a mosque. But the issue was that he was Gay. He said " I have felt guilty and conflicted about this my whole life- But I cannot help the way I feel. I love women but there is no attraction there. One could say I cannot call myself muslim then, but I am unwilling to let go of my religion, even if it comes into conflict with my orientation". Anyhow, the man went on to say that he would just feel a lot better about a few things if he could come to the mosque once in a while to pray, and asked if that would be ok. I dont know why the man felt compelled to tell the Imam such personal details, but he did. This is what the imam responded: Who am I to interfere with your relationship with God? I am not here to judge you, just to teach you the principles of the Koran, to guide you through prayer and such. Yes, you can pray in this mosque." What I am trying to get to is that if an imam can be so understanding of someone who is Muslim and yet leads a "lifestyle" which is un-islamic, then the parents of the child you are speaking of can succeed in teaching their child the religion, can explain that it is not accpetable within Islam- but that one can still respect other people they will encounter throughout the years (whether it be a teacher, on the news, in the papers, a work colleague) who identify as gay/lesbian/trans or speak about the issue.
Elaborating more on 'Home Environment' from Captain Obvious - besides LGBT there are tons of differences such as eating dressing drinking dating etc that are different for us while living in a culture that accepts and makes these things a norm. We were majorly nervous about it while raising our first born. He would ask at a restaurant, at the age of 4 ... 'Mom is this chicken halal'.. yes to that extent.. we clarified everything to him cose' kids do understand ...It starts from Pre-k when they are served lunch in school and you tell them that you can't have the chicken there but you can have the chicken at home...If one is able to teach the difference in eating /dressing etc.. I am sure they can teach that homosexuality is wrong or forbidden in our religion.. I feel that living in a different culture makes is much more easier to teach the kids these things .. rather than living in our own color race and language.
On what basis will you argue against, when a boy or girl of the same religion, language and race will be seen practicing these things.
If they feel that the US is becoming too liberal and accepting of everything, then move to a country that isn't.
This is life, there will be lesbians, bisexuals, gays and transgendered people. The parents should teach their kids while it isn't in accordance with Islam, NOT everyone is Muslim and will think the same way and at the end of the day everyone is a human being and deserves respect.
We have spoken about it quite openly with our children, and at the same time have tried very hard to instill Islamic rights and wrongs in our children. One of our neighbours are a 'gay ' professional working couple..and we get on very well with them. They are very civil, polite, hilarious with our family. We have had very serious and intimate conversations with them regarding the subject. My children very happily say 'hello' and chat with them.
OTOH, I have a Desi friend who knows about our neighbours. She has repeatedly told her son since he was 8 or 9 years old about LGBT. She tells me to keep my son away from our neighbours as he will develop gay tendencies! Her son calls my son "GAY',and a bunch of other similar names.
Similarly, we know a mid 40's Pakistani fellow, who is very openly gay. His family is a big wig family in Pakistan. They were devastated when they found out, which is strange as rumours had been circulating about his sexuality since we were teenagers.
All of my little brother's friends are non-Muslims and they all drink (and they're not even adults, welcome to Ireland) and it's not very hard for my brother to understand why he shouldn't drink. He understands alcohol is forbidden for him because he's a Muslim whereas his friends aren't so he understands why the differences exist. Similarly, why would it be any harder for the kids to understand why LGBT is okay for some but not for them? And how would that affect others in any way as long as we're all keeping our beliefs to ourselves?
My dear Abu had some misconceptions about various people as is/was common among many who came from the Indo Pak subcontinent. He had some strange ideas about people who were not of his race, ethnicity, creed etc etc. Whilst growing up, our next door neighbours were white, male and very much gay. ! They were at the time the nicest, professional and most genuine people we ever met. They really changed my Abu's way of thinking. I remember my Abu freaking out when they moved in. Slowly, they won him over. I don't ever recall dissing, being disrespectful, unkind to our neighbours. That was a big no-no, regardless of who and what they were.
The Principal at my child's school is gay.
My child's therapist is gay.
At a store where I am very friendly with the staff, half the staff is gay/lesbian, and you would never guess it in a million years. One is a young , white woman, and we get along extremely well. Her sister is a white Muslim convert. We talk about many things including Islam, homosexuality . Another person i know who was married and then later became a lesbian has a son who accepted Islam and is in the US Army. I will call her "CC". 'CC" will tell me her son is visiting ,and how she does not make food containing pork/alcohol when he is around and how he has made her a better person.
Am I scared of gays/ lesbians influencing my children? Not really, as I feel there are there are so many other things our children will have to overcome. AT the moment I am more concerned about those who are Muslim haters, and those who are without religious beliefs.
I feel these parents are more worried about the 'openness' of the homosexuality topic in the US, rather than someone being gay or not, gays exists in just about every county - Pakistan, middle east or even India. Just because no one is talking about it in these countries doesn't mean it doesn't happen or their kids will never actually find, It would be comfortable living in the above mentioned countries because you won't get to hear about gays in news or tv serials! hence all is peachy and dandy. I would suggest to these parents to address the topic with their kids rather than freaking out, it's the parents job not to leave the kids not confused about 'anything' muslim or non-muslim.
They can explain both sides to the child according to her age, and then discuss more as she gets older?