Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
I think what bothers me most about how desi parents teach their kids about LGBT is that they insinuate that it's wrong. It isn't wrong, atleast I don't think it is, because my stance is that people are born that way and their surroundings or people they associate with won't "turn them gay".
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
They need to understand that hearing about it won't make the kids gay. They also need to accept their faith, instead of always thinking that it came by the way of dominance or the sword in which case they'll always be scared and fearful and therefore more arrogant and ignorant about it. If they can't do that, they should either move away from the country or from Islam until they learn about/understand either.
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
bah....if general acceptance of homosexuality can "turn" kids into homosexuals, then general acceptance of ethnic and sectarian killings in Pakistan can turn kids into bigots.
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country…
I don’t understand what exactly they’re concerned about? Do they think that their girl will become a lesbian simply b/c gay marriages are legal? Discriminating against a person b/c of their sexual orientation has been illegal for quite a while now. Celebs have been “coming out” for a long time (heck I still remember how everyone freaked out when Ellen came out and had the lesbian kiss on her show). LGBT movement is not something new. It has been going on for decades.
As for raising a child in accordance with Islamic teachings…lol…let’s see…alcohol is legal, women show plenty of skin (especially in the summer), dating/pre-marital sex is very common (even among teenagers), pork is readily available, non-halal food is everywhere etc. Majority of America doesn’t see anything wrong with eating non-halal food, eating pork, drinking alcohol, dating, wearing shorts/tank tops in the summer, wearing bathing suits in the beach etc. I find it amusing that your friends didn’t have an issues raising their little girl as a practicing Muslim with all that around. But suddenly gay marriage becoming legal is freaking them out. 
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country…
Muslim haters, understandable. But what’s your qualm with atheists? What did they ever do to you? 
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
well their ideas are very contagious for curious minds, unlike LGBTs. :p and they operate out of highly successful places in society, not the shady nooks and corners like the druggies and such.
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
well their ideas are very contagious for curious minds, unlike LGBTs. :p and they operate out of highly successful places in society, not the shady nooks and corners like the druggies and such.
Instill the values of a/the quom in someone's mind, and they will die before they stray. And accept, that there are different paths to the same goal; i.e for someone it's doing a lot of charity work for the mosque, for someone else it's talking to the maulvi 3x a week. Both are correct, and unless there's another reason to do so you are in no position to judge or correct.
A looser belt will stay on, a tighter dropped. I think you would be surprised how high up druggies are, and better to keep them away from what not do then try to tell them everything they can do.
If you know what I mean, raising a kid is easy it's the diapers and money that's hard. :P
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
With the whole LGBT, the prime goal is to teach your child the message of tolerance. The whole idea you must treat gay people just like you'd treat any other person but that doesn't meant you have accept such lifestyle for yourself or enforce it on others, because we are followers of Islam doesn't allow that. There's no need for Muslim parents to over complicate this matter. I think Paheli has given a wonderful answer to this question to already.
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
Instill the values of a/the quom in someone's mind, and they will die before they stray. And accept, that there are different paths to the same goal; i.e for someone it's doing a lot of charity work for the mosque, for someone else it's talking to the maulvi 3x a week. Both are correct, and unless there's another reason to do so you are in no position to judge or correct.
A looser belt will stay on, a tighter dropped. I think you would be surprised how high up druggies are, and better to keep them away from what not do then try to tell them everything they can do.
If you know what I mean, raising a kid is easy it's the diapers and money that's hard. :P
let me guess - you don't have any kids... :D
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country…
:k:
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country…
half the time the fear is not about what will happen to their kids, although in rare cases parents do worry that exposure means a tendency to explore and then “turn”
most times they are just afraid that this is a matter involving , omg I’m going to say the word, sex and they are going to have to actually, god forbit, talk about it with their kids.
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
I was having a debate with someone recently about this...they're the parents of a beautiful little girl.
Extremely concerned with the LGBT movement in the US. They feel this country is becoming too liberal and accepting of everything.
A major concern they expressed was:
How do I raise my child in accordance with Islam (which condemns homosexuality) in an American country that openly accepts LGBTs now? It was different when we were kids.
America says its okay, my teachers say its okay but mom and dad say its wrong.
How?
p.s. - co-mods please don't move this thread - I feel it has more to do with our lifstyles.
Most of us here, disagree with them but it sounds like they want the best for their child and best for them seems to mean a world where all people are not treated equally and given their rights. Aren't equality and justice a huge deal in Islam? People can choose to raise their children in whatever way they please as long as they are not harming the child.
They can go to Pakistan or Middle East or wherever but LGBT lifestyle is there as well. Best thing for them would be most likely to develop/join a community with people who share their same values so that their child has a community to grow up in with the values that they espouse. Muslim community doesn't necessarily mean same values. Regardless of where this little girl is raised, she will be exposed to many of the things that they will most likely want to protect her from because we are far more connected than we used to be pre-internet.
I wish them luck!
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country...
no doubt it's hard. As parents you get to answer some hard questions.
But that happens everywhere doesn't it whether it's a liberal country or a non liberal country.
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country…
:k:
I don’t get it
Paheliii, they’re not worried about their kids becoming gay or lesbians. They’re more worried about how Islam might conflict with the surroundings their kids are in - causing confusion.
They’re a very broad minded couple - never seen them look down on anyone. I know discrimination is not a part of this.
But they are on the more religious side and Islam does say its wrong.
That is a huge part of it I think.
Bingo.
I think their main issue is explaining this to their kids.
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country…
Forgive my ignorance…perhaps I’m not getting it since I’m not a parent myself.
But I still don’t undersatnd how this is any different from the other things I mentioned. I assume this particular couple was/is prepared to explain to their child why she should not date, why she should not have sex (or any other type of physical relationship) before marriage, why she should not eat pork, why she should not drink alcohol, why she should not wear a 2-piece string bikini at the beach etc…even though the child will encounter things like this almost daily as she grows up in this society.
She will witness her friends, neighbors, teachers etc. doing MANY other things which are wrong according to Islamic teachings. I’m not understanding how explaning gays/lesbians is any different? Is it because this is related to sex? If so then how is it different from explaning to the girl that dating/kissing/touching/sex with boys etc. is wrong before marriage?
Besides, as mentioned earlier, LGBT movement has been going on for decades in the U.S. Plenty of celebs and TV characters are openly gay. Seeing 2 women or 2 men kiss on TV isn’t a major deal anymore. Discrimination against gays/lesbians has been illegal for quite a while now. I’m just not getting why suddenly gay marriage becoming legal makes a difference on how this needs to be explained. It’s not like children didn’t ask their parents about LGBT issues 5, 10, even 15 years ago.
Re: Raising a child in a liberal country…
That is actually true - I am sure people did ask before. But I do remember growing up, it was more taboo than it is now.
I think you’re right when you compare this to other issues she might run into as a child/teen/adult her entire life…maybe they haven’t thought of it that way?