Questions for working desi moms

Lifestyle Relationships
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No, I’m not a mom, am not pregnant, don’t want to get pregnant, and probably will never get pregnant – my body my choice :mad: But these survey questions are for the beyond-phd thesis I’m writing these days:

  1. Which one do you use, babysitters or daycare center?
  2. How old was your baby when you arranged for daycare/babysitter?
  3. What were the concerns you had when you were sending your child to daycare/babysitter and were they resolved or proved to be valid?
  4. How much financially challenging the arrangement was if you don’t mind sharing that information?
  5. Are you a happy mom/dad after the babysitter/daycare experience? Would you recommend new parents treading these unknown territories?
    *]Do you / Did you feel more comfortable arranging for a desi daycare/babysitter or in your experience (operative word here being “experience”, first or second hand perhaps, and not “view” ) nationality/ethnicity/race don’ mean no $hit both in election 2008 and babysitting?
    Merci.
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Re: Questions for working desi moms

It is not daycare, it is childcare!

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

^^ Where are you?

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

anyone? :(

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

desi moms usually have mom or MILs to take care of the babies... luckily

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

I don't believe you. :LB:

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

For you, Roman... BTW where do you guys hang out these days?

  1. Which one do you use, babysitters or daycare center?
    Family Day Care

  2. How old was your baby when you arranged for daycare/babysitter?
    My son was 9 months old when we first started with daycare.

  3. What were the concerns you had when you were sending your child to daycare/babysitter and were they resolved or proved to be valid?
    I was extremely concerned that he would get more attached to the day care providers than me. But that has definitely not been the case. He loves his teachers but he is infinitely more attached to his parents... at least for now.. :)

  4. How much financially challenging the arrangement was if you don't mind sharing that information?
    It is expensive but in a 2 income family it doesn't matter that much.

  5. Are you a happy mom/dad after the babysitter/daycare experience? Would you recommend new parents treading these unknown territories?
    I am very happy with the excellent quality of our daycare. Our son is more social and learns lots more than I could have taught him. I would recommend daycare or some sort of active socialization for all toddlers.

*]Do you / Did you feel more comfortable arranging for a desi daycare/babysitter or in your experience (operative word here being "experience", first or second hand perhaps, and not "view" ) nationality/ethnicity/race don' mean no $hit both in election 2008 and babysitting?
In keeping with the 2008 theme, I don't think race or nationality matter. Qualifications and experience do. I would not leave him with an aunty who watches TV all day long.

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

I am not a desi mum...

i have 2 daughters and my husband is a Managing Director of a bank and i am a deputy Vice President for a American firm. We are both modernised parents... my mum is living within the same city as i am... in morning when both me and my husband leaves for work, when my children wake up, my 'live in' house maid cum nanny take them to my mums house, and in evening i bring them back...

i damn care about the nationality of the house maid, as long as she takes good care of my children, love them... and especially satisfy my requirements in regards to child care i am very happy with whatever national she is!!!

1st Test :Pakistan v Sri Lanka 18th-22Oct 2011
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Re: Questions for working desi moms

awww are u getting a baby? well try to answer ur questions - remember i am europe, so its kind of relaxed here, we get to stay 2 1/2 years with the kid at home and go back to our old job. 3 years if both parents decide to take the leave.

1. I didnt want to stay away from work for so long - so started working when she was 18 months. It is a public day care center, she eats and sleeps there, i pick her up at 2 pm. There are lots of private centers here too. Some are good and some are ok. You need to visit them before and see how they are to kids. The private ones are quite expensive, especially if they are english speaking ones, not all expensive day care centers are the best. So you have to check them out for yourself before enrolling your kid into it.

2. My baby was 2 months when I arranged it, I filled out a form and told them when I want her to start. I choosed between 2 centers near my home and they decided on one, the earlier u do the paper work the more chances of getting a place as the good ones are limited.

3. I had lots of concers, the second day I brought her there, I started crying afterwards. I thought I was mean and not fair to her to send her away from me. The first few weeks I stayed inside with her. I looked at other kids and felt sorry for them that they were 'alone' without their parents over there. These were the concerns. But they were resolved very soon as I noticed that the kids have fun there and enjoy being in a group of kids their age, play different games, sing songs and poem, dance and create different things. I noticed that my kid enjoyed going to the center sometimes didnt wanted to come back so I had to litterly drag her back.

4. Financially its expensive as you pay for the food too, this is not payed by the government unless you are very under paid. School is free though, but the quality is bad. Thats why I perfere a private school. The private day care centers depending on their program are even more expensive, but I see working mom and dads sending their kids there as thinking of their future.
There is one in my block, but its full and has a long waiting list.

5. Very happy and recommend it to everyone if their kid is a normal heathy kid. The experience they get their makes them ready for school and life. They teach the kids eating manners/how to be in a group/ starting toilet, some of the necessary things that need to be done, so its a great help, you as mom get time for your own self and go to work without worring about the kid.

6. I dont care if its desi or gora, the quality has to be right, the people have to qualified to handle small kids and their needs. So if a desi day care center do this its great, I am for it.

Your fish was impregnated by a dog.
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Re: Questions for working desi moms

Financially, it does not make sense to send your child for childcare if the second income is not going to offset the cost. It's important to note that the cost is not only childcare fees etc. it is also the household chores that get put off and the lifestyle changes one has to make, e.g. when both parents are working, the time when they are home, like evenings, they are busy cleaning, cooking, laundry etc. Entertaining guests become a challenge and you end up eating out a lot more. So factor that in with the cost.

Childcare facilities are cheaper than in house care. Some argue that when your child is less than 18 months, it is better to have an in house child care provider and after 18 months he is ready to go join the other gang but I guess it just depends. Cost varies by city, region and age of child. It gets cheaper as they grow older.

I have seen people put too much focus on how 'educational' the child care facility is but I think that's just a marketing tool. I doubt a kid who learns ABC at 2 years vs. one who learns when he or she is 3 really makes any difference in how successful they will be in life. At such young age, all what matters is that there is someone there to keep an eye on them. So child-to-caretaker ratio is far more important than their curriculum.

Finally I would say that a toddler is much better off at a child care facility if at home he will be subject to hours and hours of TV, especially non-G rated Desi movies, and Geo style news while the parent yaps on the phone. Parenting doesn't come with a manual, some people are really good at while others suck. Yeah, I am with those who say preschool should be mandatory.

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

Thanks guys. Really good pointers here from all of you.

Aisha, I sometimes go to chowk unplug but it’s a nasty place and not for the decent folks like yourself. :smiley: btw, really encouraging review. My wife is a little concerned over parting from our daughter and handing her over to strangers but I strongly feel that daycares are good places for a child to socialize with other kids if nothing else. I’ve never been an advocate of sit-in nannies/babysitters unless you share with few other families and your child has other children to play with in the presence of an experienced nanny. But other than that God forbid I don’t think we’ll ever go for a babysitter.

Sadia, ours is 3 months right now :blush: I think it’s going to be a good over a year before we’d actually need to send her to daycare but I like to keep tabs on things in advance.

:lb:

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

ahmadjeebhaijaan, how’ you doin’? :smokin::smooth::bravo::smokin2::naraz::disgust::grumpy:

:lb:

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

Roman jee Bhaijaan, I am glad that Bhabhi is keeping you too busy to visit us anymore.

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

I dunno I'm not a mommy. But I used to have a cat

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Aishaaa2.1, that only counts if the kitty was extremely cute. :halo:

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Congrats, Roman :D

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

These are sooo the questions on my mind right now.. looking to put my daughter in chidlcare soon... lemme answer neways

  1. Which one do you use, babysitters or daycare center?

It's childcare here.. My mum's taking care of my daughter at the moment and she started doing it just after she turned 1.. but i'll be looking for a childcare for her in a few months.. mum's got too many kids to look after at the moment!

  1. How old was your baby when you arranged for daycare/babysitter?

when i first arranged, she was 5 months.. then a year but it didnt work out so I mum said she'd take care of her..

  1. What were the concerns you had when you were sending your child to daycare/babysitter and were they resolved or proved to be valid?

just the usual, that she would get less attached.. she'll become stressed (which she did at the childcare) but I still thought it was a good idea as she'd be interacting with other kiddies and probably learning a lot more..

  1. How much financially challenging the arrangement was if you don't mind sharing that information?

its pretty expensive here.. especially in the CBD, but on two pays its not toooo bad unless you have a mortgage!!

  1. Are you a happy mom/dad after the babysitter/daycare experience? Would you recommend new parents treading these unknown territories?

Most definately... although i still havent put her in proper childcare as yet but ive seen other kids and they are doing well..

  1. Do you / Did you feel more comfortable arranging for a desi daycare/babysitter or in your experience (operative word here being "experience", first or second hand perhaps, and not "view" ) nationality/ethnicity/race don' mean no $hit both in election 2008 and babysitting?

Yeah, I kinda do... I have seen a desi child and another african child sort of being neglected I guess once visiting a childcare... although it was probably just me not wanting to leave my daughter there... I dont really care anymore.. I was more protective of my daughter when she was in the "nursery" room age.. For some reason I do feel more comfortable seeing a desi at a childcare and think "oh cool, she'll pay more attention to my kid..." .. i dunno why i think i like that.. its probably very wrong

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

I feel like such a racist now... but that wasnt what i meant to sound like. I spent some time at two childcares here, and I just wasnt very comfortable with the way they interacted (or more like no neglected) kids.. But having said that, I do think they teach the kids a lot better than some of us do at home and that was my main reason of sending my daughter to childcare... I think if I wasnt even working, I'd still probably send her for a day or two..

Question about cafe...
Question about cafe...
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Re: Questions for working desi moms

Just a Q for you guys... do you ever get stupid comments or judgments from anybody else for having ur kids in day care? through family or relatives or in laws etc? i mean...last few years just reading the endless threads and really cruel comments on stay at home moms vs working moms, have any of you ever had that moment of "what will ppl think"?

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Re: Questions for working desi moms

^ hmm not really. Most of my friends work... and most mothers who dont work want to work... u do get comments like "haye ithni choti si bachi ko childcare chordiya..." bla bla... but honestly, these are people who've not worked in their whole life... so its all yada yada yada...

as for women who work, i know they feel guitly now and then about leaving their lil bubbaz.. as I do from time to time.. but, its good for both of you. I love being away doing my own thing.. everyone needs that..

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