Before marriage most people probably had alot of things in common for example: going out, food, movies etc…
After you get married: Were there anything which werent common?
A friend of mine had did love marraige, and like after marriage he found out that girl doesnt eat eggs lol, so there goes his breakfast. She doesnt like some food that he does..Whenever they sit down to watch tv, theyd have problems figuring out what to watch on tv. Sleeping in bed habbits etc…I mean there are probably lots of other things that you realize after marraige…tell us about your love marriage and how did u get along before marriage, and now after marriage?
Should couples even have things/habbits in common before marriage?
They’re so cute together. She was frustrated with him because he was really overprotective until he had daughters. I think he calmed down when he realized he wasn’t getting any sons.
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*Originally posted by Furqan: *
Should couples even have things/habbits in common before marriage?
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Not necessarily, though depends on which particular things/habits you are talking about. Food favorites are usually different. TV is a general issue, where men and women normally have very different tastes... while men want news and sports, women generally get bored with these. Solution: 2 TV's. Most differences can be easily solved... however, if husband and wife have trouble sharing the same bed, then definitely a big problem.
hahah agree about that bed part…not in that sense..like lets say the husband wants it to be dark all night long and wife wants a tiny night light on…or some people cannot sleep in pin drop silence enviroment etc…there could alot of issues..
So having different food taste is a normal thing right?
U boys are acting liek all husbands are so innocent .. jo khiladia, kha lia, pehna dia, pehen lia. Itna asan hota to pata nahi duniya hi kia hoti Cmon, lil compromises liek that are negogiated at both ends. Whether its arranged or love, knowing a person, and lving with a person are two different things. U cant go into marriage assuming there wont be a difference of choice n personal opinion.. just gotta win sum n lose sum..
Deviliciousss, Im so glad you said that.....men esp HUSBANDS always play the innocent little old me card.....
There are issues in any marriage..whether love or arranged....there are issues u discuss before marriage....that are important to either one in the relationship... But there are alot of things that you just simply cant prepare for or even find a solution for before marriage...
I had a love marriage, but our first year was full of issues...stupid ones and serious ones...things like
1) My husband takes 1 hr showers TWICE A DAY!!! that is hard when we were in a one bdr place!!!!
2) He eats his food lukewarm and I eat it piping hot!!!
3) The detergent we wash our clothes in...
Stupid issues!! Believe me I know that...but every marriage has them...I bet most married peopl eon this site could add lots to my list of stupid issues...
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*Originally posted by Furqan: *
Before marriage most people probably had alot of things in common for example: going out, food, movies etc....
After you get married: Were there anything which werent common?
Should couples even have things/habbits in common before marriage?
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going out, movies and food does not stop with marriage :)
There were things that we knew about each other, and those that we discovered once we got married, in some cases we adopted the likes of each other, in other cases we did not. She does not eat anything like lobster or crab, I dont eat welldone steaks and prefer them medium to med well..i like my tea/coffee med hot, she drinks it very hot. she is very picky with what she eats, I eat anything that is around with the exception of a few things, she loves lifetime channel, I would rather watch sci-fi.
as far as habits/interests etc being common before marriage, sure, there should be enough in common to have some common grounding, but enough differences so u dont think u are dating yourself :)
i think dealing with differences and stuff after u get married to someone if u have a love marriage is much harder than if it was arranged.. because before a love marriage, everything is so awesome and u think that person is amazing and perfect... but after u get married its not the same as it was before... i'm not saying theres anything wrong with a love marriage.. if i loved someone i would wanto marry them too... but in an arranged marriage u have different expectations, the excitement comes afterwards, u fall in love after
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*Originally posted by original desi: *
i think dealing with differences and stuff after u get married to someone if u have a love marriage is much harder than if it was arranged.. because before a love marriage, everything is so awesome and u think that person is amazing and perfect... but after u get married its not the same as it was before... i'm not saying theres anything wrong with a love marriage.. if i loved someone i would wanto marry them too... but in an arranged marriage u have different expectations, the excitement comes afterwards, u fall in love after
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did u try a love marriage and an arranged marriage yourself before coming up with this universal truth?
I can argue the opposite that if u chose someone, then u will have more vested and would try harder to work through differences, if it is someone your maan baap tied you to, you would just resent the arrangers as well as the spouse for being a mismatch :)
Well, I am not married yet but I would still like to put my opinion in. As most people have already said, most differences can be solved by buying another TV set and cooking 2 dishes ets. That’s why when you “go out” with that person before marriage, make sure you not only watch movies etc, but sit down and talk on these little things that make a big difference after marriage. And as far as sleeping habits go, so what if they can’t sleep on the same bed. One can sleep on the bed and the other can sleep on the floor or on another little bed in the room. Afterall, the point is to sleep and when you are asleep, you are not aware of what’s going on and where you are. So yeah, sleeping problem solved as well :halo:
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*Originally posted by original desi: *
i think dealing with differences and stuff after u get married to someone if u have a love marriage is much harder than if it was arranged.. because before a love marriage, everything is so awesome and u think that person is amazing and perfect... but after u get married its not the same as it was before... i'm not saying theres anything wrong with a love marriage.. if i loved someone i would wanto marry them too... but in an arranged marriage u have different expectations, the excitement comes afterwards, u fall in love after
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well said!
Shikra: we are not talking about sharing bed here, we were talking about personal comfort when sleeping... like how some people like to leave the light on, or fan on at night. Also, like if a husband prefers hotter climate when sleeping and wife preferes it not so hot.
Has your wife/husband, bought any clothes or things for you which you disliked? (gifts)
Ok men who spend more then like 10-15 minutes in shower, either have health problems or psychological issues :)
In conclusion, i personaly think that yes there will be conflicts with watching tv/eating food/sleeping habbits etc... but i think they are not a biggie problem, and i think they can be resolved by communication and compromisation.
Love marriage or not...there are athings you find out about your spouse once you live together that you had no clue about before marriage...
My husband's analaty, bed making styles, sink cleaning, my hard time with wet towels tossed on the bed, Weeknights-he needs to watch some TV before he sleepes at 1 am, I'm out cold at 10 pm...
but you figure it out...talk, fight, talk, discuss,
....though i had a love marriage, my spouse and i discussed many things and had our fights....so we had already learned great ways to resolve our problems....and we work towards fixing it because we love each other too
I have a friend with an arranged marraige and once he and his wife got through the 3-6 month sexual blur of initial romance, they fought all the time and never could resolve it...ending in divorce one year later...
agree about that bed part…not in that sense..like lets say the husband wants it to be dark all night long and wife wants a tiny night light on…or some people cannot sleep in pin drop silence enviroment etc…there could alot of issues..
.. jo khiladia, kha lia, pehna dia, pehen lia. Itna asan hota to pata nahi duniya hi kia hoti 
Cmon, lil compromises liek that are negogiated at both ends. Whether its arranged or love, knowing a person, and lving with a person are two different things. U cant go into marriage assuming there wont be a difference of choice n personal opinion.. just gotta win sum n lose sum..
