Question in regards to rishta pics and hijab

Captain_Obvious · December 10, 2012, 6:57pm

Re: Question in regards to rishta pics and hijab

Everyone has a different thought process, and the posts here are indicative of that.

My daughter says that in a traditional rishta, everyone is on their best behaviour, and one never gets to know the other person,his family, their true likes and dislikes, who they really are. She finds it demeaning if 20 questions consist of what she can cook,if she can cook, what her domestic capabilities are, or that since she wears hijab she must have no faults, and that she in incapable of thinking/or doing anything on her own. (sorry, but my DD is in a Masters program in a very highly competitive field). It is marketing in the end. She is worried as a few of her friends are married and some already divorced, most marriages were of their own liking, and they are not yet 25 years old.

She does not have an issue sitting with the ‘guys’ family(females only) without her hijab only if/and when talks become more serious. I spoke with one of our Imams who is is non Desi.and has quite a few daughters. His advice was that she has the right to observe her hijab , until talks are more serious, as he himself took that stance with his daughters. My daughter has the right to that decision, and we respect her for that, in no circumstances will we push it beyond her boundaries.

For those who have an issue with hijab, am sorry you feel that way. No need to put someone down for their beliefs. As parents we are not looking for a ‘mullah’ for her, we are looking for someone who will be her life partner, through thick and then, through better and worse, who will respect her for her thoughts and beliefs and vice versa. not too much to ask , is it? Obviously it does not always work out that way, but one can hope.

Anyways, this topic will not just benefit me, but countless others who are/were in the same dilemma.

Thanks..

I wish you and your family the best with this process. May Allah make it easy for you to find a good match for your daughter. Ameen.