i don’t know how to ask this tactfully, and i don’t know if i’ll even make sense when i ask it, but i hope you’ll understand what im trying to say.
is your wife thin? are you happy with her body? is her body “sexy” enough? if she isn’t thin now, was she when you married her? and if her body has changed are you still attracted to her and satisfied with her? or are you greatly turned off?in the same token what about you? has your body changed greatly after marriage? do you expect her to remain fit and beautiful even though you yourself have not?
if u’re unmarried what are your feelings?
i’m just trying to make sense, because girls are in this constant struggle to look so beautiful while many guys are just ehh. I keep getting told “noone wants an overwieght girl…when i was your age i was barely 100 pounds…oh she’s so beautiful, dekho kitni gauri hai..” and on and on. One day i overheard a couple of aunties talking. One of them has had 5 kids. She’s pretty young still and shes had them all one right after the other. She was saying how she needs to lose the weight off the last one because her husband has never seen her like this. I was thinking, “my god, u’re so pretty mashallah, you just had your 5th child, so u’re a little heavy-u did just have a baby, and for god’s sake who keeps you pregnant all the time! ” i was so annoyed at her thought process.
i’m just i’m not asking this to attack any guys, i honestly want an opinion. i want to attempt to understand your thoughts. thank you
Hmmm, i think this issue is a bit tricky as perceptions, expectations, definations of beauty etc all differ from indivisual to indivisual.
Personally speaking, i will not ask any1 to do something for me unless i have done my bit......therefore, i think its quite unfair for one to expect his wife to look model-alike while u model a belly almost reaching the floor.
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*Originally posted by Pagluu: *
I'll say SHAPE UP or SHIP OUT.
Just kidding :)
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hahaha oh god man thats just too funny..i hope our mod ji doesnt delete it..anyways i am not married so i am not sure..but i think i wouldnt want my wife to gain too much weight
As I understand, psychological studies have indicated that on a sub-conscious level, guy expect their wives to be similar to their mother - as what they feel would be normal bheaviour/looks are what their mother is like. And this would directly influence their answer to your question. I believe that Sigmund Freud referred to this as the Oedipus complex, aftet the Shakespearan character.
In my case, my mother was thin, became very chubby, got shocked and became thin again. Now she’s in her mid-40s and very slim. Hence when I get married, I would expect my wife to make a full effort to be slim and not be fat - as my upbringing and observing my mother, who I hold up as a model of what women should be like, has led to to think that this is normal. I would certainly outright refuse to marry a fat girl, and would be dissappointed if my wife “let herself go” after marriage, because my mother did not do so.
I would expect my wife to take care of her body at least. She doesn't have to be perfect, but she shouldn't be careless. As for me, I always try to stay fit and in shape for myself first, but also would like to look great for my future wife, and would try and make every effort to keep looking great as much as I can, no matter how old I get.
yeah, women should always try to stay slim. if i really really love that girl, then i probably won’t care MUCH, but i’ll still expect her to care for her and stay slim. but if she gives up and eat cheese all the times, chocolate, and what have you…then i’ll be disappointed.
I don't have a problem if she lets go and can't help it. However, if its something that can be controlled, then its up to her to do what she feels so as long as she is happy with her body as am I.
Well the way I see it is that people don't balloon up without a reason. Pregnancy, stress, and many other factors are reasons why the wifey might gain weight. In my opinion, those circumstances can be temporary or can be solved, so yes I would work with her to solve the root of the problem. My fiancee is more athletic than I am so I am pretty sure that she'll want to do something about the extra weight. On the other hand, gaining a small increment, something like 5-10 lbs is really not an issue for me, because we can all go through those cycles I know that when I come back from Pak, I gain 5 pounds because of all the dawats, weddings and general carelessness.
So to answer the question, I would ideally like to see my wife stay thin but if it doesnt happen, I'm fine with that.
I was dated my wife 4 years before i married her. She started to gain weight, but that didnt bother me. I have been married to her for 2 years now. She hadn't even gained that much weight but someone said to her to lose it now that she's married or she'll have problems. She never specifically told me what had happened but she stopped eating properly and started to lose weight really quicklly. I sensed what was happening and told her that I loved her for who she was not who she is trying to become. She was good before and i was it to stay that way. I told her that how could we enjoy our marriage if we couldnt even eat together properly.
She got the message and she is her normal self again. I try to control my weight by keeping to the ideal weight limit. I tell her that too. Its not cos of the looks but purely to keep in good shape healthwise.
I guess for me what i am trying to say is that you marry who you see at the time and they should try to stay like that, to change after marriage to try and please the othet half is pointless and usually starts trouble!!!
I want my lady 2 be slim & just as da way I see her, I don't mind her gaining a few kilos, but I don't want a cow either....!
There is a famous politician from pak (I won't mention names 2 hurt sentiments) - hez still single & when asked Y?....he promptly replied
"Jub bazaar main doodh milta hai, tau ghar majh rakhnay ki kya zaroorat hai"
I laughed sarcastically at this remark, but I despised it because he was born from a "majh" too....!
I would perfectly allow my gal 2 work out in a gym, as long as its within limits. I'll build my own gym....! Paki ladies grow fat coz they don't have anythin better 2 do Xcept gossip & eat....of course mentalities have changed but majority is still alive....!
thank you all for replying…i will respond individually later…
so very few of you have mentioned what YOUR bodies are like…
gossip and eat? i think you forget that you are talking to a paki girl…i really resent that comment, and feel it was a disgustingly gross generalization
we’re not just talking thin here…you guys haven’t really addressed any other aspects of the thread…
Well my weight is 65kgs....pretty amazingly low isn't it, I know galz love heavy built & smart guyz....!
Lets see now, if I were 2 become fat, I would definitely avoid that scenario, if I want somethin from my life partner, she also Xpects da same in return or probably more....!
Point 1 finger @ some1 & 3 point back @ u....so I guess, we guyz should also play our part....As far as model look alikes r concerned, I never gave 2 thoughts, I want my gal beautiful - seerat & soorat
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*Originally posted by mal1k: *
Well my weight is 65kgs....pretty amazingly low isn't it, I know galz love heavy built & smart guyz....!
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I'm 21, 5 feet 8 inches tall, weigh 65kg and think that I'm fat!!!
” i was so annoyed at her thought process.
i’m not asking this to attack any guys, i honestly want an opinion. i want to attempt to understand your thoughts. thank you 
