Question about marriage in Islam

Salam bro and sis

My dad went to a Islamic conference and he said tht its this lecture said tht according to ISlam peopel should be married as soon as they start their puberty but i read some where else in some islamic forum tht a man is only allowed to married when he is working so tht he can provide fianace to his wife and kids

i dont get it which one is right
AND PLZ IT WOULD BE NICE IS U HAVE ANY PROVE ABOUT IT

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

well i think ...... in islam its allowed to get married as soon as they reach their puberty for number of reasons.. if u think the guy is gonna do bad stuff when he reaches his 20's or watsoever...its better that he already get married so that he would avoid such stuff..

perhaps someone who has more info about this matter will enlighten u...

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

who will support the guy and his wife when he is not earning?

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

it is better for the person to get married as soon as possible to avoid fitnah....
and it is also good that the man earns....
but Islam says that rizq is in Allah's hand so i dont think earning is a compulsion in marriage....

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

Salam Manoor,

Sis you have raised 2 questions, 1. age of marriage 2. conditions of marriage. However your father is partly correct.

But when the children among you come of age, let them (also) ask for permission, as do those senior to them (in age): Thus does Allah make clear His Signs to you: for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom. (Quran 24:59)

This means when children reach puberty, then they must ask permission like those who were before them did also. Thus Allah clarifies His revelations to you; for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom.

**If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women, they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: And Allah hath full knowledge about your faith. Ye are one from another: Wed them with the leave of their owners, and give them their dowers, according to what is reasonable: They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that ye practise self-restraint. And Allah is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (Quran 4:25) **

Here Allah is telling us that whoever of you cannot afford to marry the believing independent women, then marry from the dependant believing young women. Allah is more aware of your faith, same are you to each other. You shall marry them with the permission of their parents and give them their wage in kindness; to be protected, not for illicit sex or taking lovers. If they become protected, then any of them who comes with lewdness shall have half the punishment of what is for the independent women of the retribution. This is for those who fear hardship from among you. But if you are patient it is better for you, and Allah is Forgiver, Merciful.

See that we must have the permission of the parents if the female is dependent on them and from the first verse the child must be mature in both body and in mind.

Cheers!

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

If a man can provide BASIC essential needs, then he can get married. And if he is poor, other wealthier muslims should fund the wedding.

There is no degree status crap in Islam. Marriage is an autonomous decision.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

I hope you realize that you have quoted this verse out of context. Ayah 58 talks about teaching the children to ask permission on three occasions when they want to enter upon the parents. And then when they are old enough then they have to ask permission to enter all the time, like the seniors.
If I am not mistaken these Ayaat were revealed because an incident happened with Umar radiAllahuanhu, his slave did not ask for permission before entering the room at noon time.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

I don`t mean any disrespect but how is the newly wed couple going to make their living? Is this why millions of Muslims all over are living below poverty level? Allah is not going to give ANYTHING to those who are not making an effort to earn their living.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

Salam Sherafghan,

I must say you have a beautiful name, I really like it.

[QUOTE]
I hope you realize that you have quoted this verse out of context. Ayah 58 talks about teaching the children to ask permission on three occasions when they want to enter upon the parents.

And then when they are old enough then they have to ask permission to enter all the time, like the seniors.
If I am not mistaken these Ayaat were revealed because an incident happened with Umar radiAllahuanhu, his slave did not ask for permission before entering the room at noon time.
[/QUOTE]

O ye who believe! let those whom your right hands possess, and the (children) among you who have not come of age ask your permission (before they come to your presence), on three occasions: before morning prayer; the while ye doff your clothes for the noonday heat; and after the late-night prayer: these are your three times of undress: outside those times it is not wrong for you or for them to move about attending to each other: Thus does Allah make clear the Signs to you: for Allah is full of knowledge and wisdom. (Quran 24:58)

Occasions apply to 'dependents' and 'childern who have NOT reached pubetry', and it make sense when parents are intheir private time they dont allow 5yrs old.
But to interpret 24:59 pubtry as age limit, will be parent doing private in front of their 7yrs old since he/she isnt mature, doesnt make sense to me bro.

Btw how do define marriage?

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

Well it doesn' t necessarily have to make sense, it's in the Quran. Something that makes sense today may not tomorrow and vice versa, so this thing about making sense is not the appropriate way to interpreting the Quran.
So essentially you have taken the verse out of context because the "reaching the age of puberty" part doesn't make sense to you?
The age of puberty in Islam is when one reaches adulthood and is responsible for their own actions. So if a 7 year old hasn't reached puberty then he/she is still considered a child.

What do you mean by the definition of marriage? It's a contract between a man and a woman where both parties have to fulfill their responsibilities.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

You have misinterpreted this verse a bit. This verse does not talk about minor children. It is about marrying captive or slave women who were prisoners of war. Children are not referred to as being the "property" of their parents anywhere in Quran or hadith.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

You have misinterpreted this verse a bit. This verse does not talk about minor children. It is about marrying captive or slave women who were prisoners of war. Children are not referred to as being the "property" of their parents anywhere in Quran or hadith.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

You have misinterpreted this verse a bit. This verse does not talk about minor children. It is about marrying captive or slave women who were prisoners of war. Children are not referred to as being the "property" of their parents anywhere in Quran or hadith.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

[QUOTE]
Well it doesn' t necessarily have to make sense, it's in the Quran.
[/QUOTE]

Do you forget that quran is the book for clarity of everything and guidance ?
So everything in the Quran make senes.

[QUOTE]
Something that makes sense today may not tomorrow and vice versa, so this thing about making sense is not the appropriate way to interpreting the Quran.
[/QUOTE]

Again you are fogetting that the Quran is for All times.

[QUOTE]
So essentially you have taken the verse out of context because the "reaching the age of puberty" part doesn't make sense to you?
[/QUOTE]

According to your logic, while parents are copulating it is okey for a boy/girl who hasnt reached pubtry to go and mingle with them. This is non sense and insult.

What happens at pubtry is common sense. one is attracted to opposite sex.
Not that you stop them at your private times. One is teached this modesty at very early age and not at pubtry.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

^ It's not really nonsense, if you think about all the poorer people in the world who live in one room dwellings. Even those whose children sleep in the same room with them may be lax about it if the children are sleeping, and too young to know what is happening. This verse is about maintaining modesty in front of children who have reached an age when it is appropriate for the mother and father to maintain more modesty, i.e. they may move away from their parents bed to another corner of the home, parents must be more careful not to let the child see them in a state of undress, such as showering, changing, etc.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam


Everything makes sense the way Allah has layed it out, but that doesn't mean that it will make sense to us.

2:30 And (remember) when your Lord said to the angels: "Verily, I am going to place (mankind) generations after generations on earth." They said: "Will You place therein those who will make mischief therein and shed blood, - while we glorify You with praises and thanks (Exalted be You above all that they associate with You as partners) and sanctify You." He (Allah) said: "I know that which you do not know."

In the above verse the angels ask Allah why are you doing this, and Allah does not give them an answer.

2:216. ... and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.

And again in this verse it is clear that just because we don't like something doesn't mean that we reject it.


I don't disagree with you there. The fact is that based on our environment and other factors, things that make "sense" will change. For example, in the west things like divorce or having children out of wedlock were discouraged and frowned upon but today there's nothing wrong with this. Since Islam is Perfect, it cannot change.


First of all, it's not my logic. Secondly, I don't know of the rulings for this. But Ayah 58 does say that those three times are times of privacy and that is why children should ask for permission. So, it would mean that times other than those three are not necessarily that of privacy (this is my understanding of those verses, and it doesn't mean that this is the correct understanding), and so they don't need to ask for permission.


Yes, and we are supposed to teach children praying, fasting, and other obligatory duties before it becomes a responsibility for them, too. These things are done so that the children when they reach adulthood (puberty), then they already know what to do. So I don't see what your point is.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

Let common sense prevail - ladies and gents :flower1:

One has to to be physically, emotionally and financially prepared for marriage.
In the old days, there was a Joint Family system, large families and tribes lived together and shared resources with each other. In those circumstances it was OK to get married at a young age. Often it involved the bride just moving from one floor of the haveli to the other. The parents still provided for them, as before… no problem.

Times have changed, cultures have changed, life styles have changed.

How many guppies do we have here who were married at puberty ? :aq:
How many of you plan to marry off your sons at 14 and daughters at 9 ? :aq:
Not many I think :flower1:

The man is supposed to provide for his wife and take care of all her needs. Someone mentioned above that Allah (swt) has promised to provide rizq to everyone. AGREED - But please dont mix things up to suit your logic and mindset. If after marriage, munnay mian still asks for Rs. 10 from abba jee to buy sweets and candy for the new dulhan, I dont think its gonna make sense :D.

The median age for getting married has shifted from early teens (a couple of centuries ago) to late 20s or early 30s in the present age. This is because of the lifestyle, cultural changes and various other factors.

The real issue is that marriage should not be delayed, once the guy is in a position to earn rizq e halal and provide for his own family. And that happens after he completes college or university, or has developed certain skills that will help him earn a livelihood.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

And that everything is layed out in Al-Quran.

Would you believe in anything that doesnt pass sense? This will be contrary to below verse

(Yusuf Ali) And pursue not that of which thou hast no knowledge; for every act of hearing, or of seeing or of (feeling in) the heart will be enquired into (on the Day of Reckoning). (Quran 17:36)

This should be the criteria for accepting and upholding what is peddled to us. We should use our ‘hearing’, ‘seeing’ & ‘feeling’ to judge, we will be questione for this.

Here Allah is explaining the creation plot, if you gather all relevant verses you will complete the picture. (we can talk creation n angles at another place)

So?

Good that we agree at one point.

Please elaborate I cannot understand what you mean to say here.

Correct you are right here.

Since you agree to basics here then in 24:59 mentioning of pubetry has to mean something else. your thoughts?

Re: Question about marriage in Islam

Sis Ammna,

this is not my translation, its done by Yousaf Ali, and I always use this translation since its considerd authentic and accepted by all sects.

Re: Question about marriage in Islam


Again you are misinterpreting the verse. This verse is referring to speaking without knowledge, ie. false testimony. We as Muslims have to believe in the Ghayb [2:3] and no one can sense the ghayb.


Well the Ayah does not have an explanation.
What about the story of Musa's mother, when she put her child into the river, does that make sense? Or what about Ibrahim wanting to slaughter his son Ismael, does that make sense? Or what about the verses like Alif Lam Meem, do those make sense?


My point is, it doesn't have to make sense. And at times it doesn't make sense.

I hope this Ayah is more clear, it's the verse about Mutashabihaat
3:7. **It is He Who has sent down to you the Book. **In it are Verses that are entirely clear, they are the foundations of the Book; and others not entirely clear. So as for those in whose hearts there is a deviation they follow that which is not entirely clear thereof, seeking Al-Fitnah, and seeking for its hidden meanings, but none knows its hidden meanings save Allah. And those who are firmly grounded in knowledge say: "We believe in it; the whole of it (clear and unclear Verses) are from our Lord." And none receive admonition except men of understanding.


Forget about it.


I don't know what you mean. You still took 24:59 out of context, and misinterpreted the verse. And taking verses out of context and misinterpretations is how deviant sects form.

By the way Yusuf Ali's translation is not that accurate, it includes his interpretations of the Quran and in some cases he did make mistakes.