my recently married couisn husband doesnt want kids for few years and she is very worried about it she heard it is difficult to concieve once you are above 30 or more then 30 and even if u r not above 30 if initialy u dont try to concieve later u got problems as our aunty said to her(bad main bacha hone main bohot problems hongi) 
it is true or all wrong and false thing?
Re: question about concieving
These days its more common for women to have kids much later in their late 30âs.
Re: question about concieving
Most womenâs fertility peaks around 27, and for most women there is a decline after 35. But many couples conceive naturally and without too much trouble after 30, and for those that donât, there are lots of medical options to help.
Perhaps she and her husband could speak to their phycisian about their questions/concerns/plan.
Re: question about concieving
Some old aunts around me told the same, baad me probs hongi, but I dont think that. Baad, what baad? How does a bachha know ke meri mama ki kabse shadi hui hay and mujhay pehle aa jana chahye tha?
Problem occurs only when you start taking contraceptive pills. So one shouldnât take those or have iud insterted. Find other ways for precautions and you can have no problem conceiving in future 
Good Luck!
Re: question about concieving
What are you basing this on? From my knowledge (which includes use of bcp) this is not necessarily true. Like SO2 recommended, the OP should consult her doctor rather than jumping to conclusions or go by heresay.
Re: question about concieving
Thatâs untrue!
@OP. The younger you are, the higher the chances of conceiving. Your chances of conceiving reduce the older you are. These are just basic fertility facts.
At 30 a healthy woman has 20% chance of conceiving every month. At the age of 40 it drops to 5%.
But of course, every couple is different and anyone can have problems conceiving regardless of their age.
I agree with the others though, she should consult her doctor if she has concerns.
Re: question about concieving
you know whats funny.. thats another old auntie thing that you are endorsing!
I have and I know several girls who conceived just fine after taking pills for several years as well as the IUD insertion!
Re: question about concieving
Typically and quite ignorantly, many people think of infertility or problems in conceiving as âwomens problemsâ . In many cases it is the male who is the cause.
Example..I have a female cousin who married at 19, the couple decided to put off having children for a few years. When they were ready to start a family, it did not happen. She put up with all the 'Aunties talking", and watching her own siblings begin their families. She had test after test, she passed with flying colors. Her husband finally underwent a battery of tests and that is when they found out that he is infertile. They have been married for 15 years , and are now in the process of adopting from Pakistan.
And as mentioned above, every man and woman is unique.
Re: question about concieving
It really dependsâŚi know an aunty who is trying to conceive for 15 years now but it still doesnt work.. she has used the pill (diana) for 8 years ors
(docâs say that one cant use Diana for a long time, max should be 6-8 months)
and because she used the DIana so long, she canât conceive now⌠docâs say that her results are positive and she has to wait till the hormones work out of the bodyâŚ
So it really depends if the homones ur using are suiting youâŚand how long one is using them
important thing is to get urself and ur partner tested and pray to allah to bless everyone with this neymat
Re: question about concieving
^ that one type of pill probably didnt work for her but its wrong to just assume that contracpetive pills or IUD cause infertility. I mean come one we have 13 year olds on pill here, they grow up to have babies even in their 30s.. if pills were really the culprit, you ont see docs prescribing them all the time. We, as desis, will never grow out of âpills cause infertilityâ mentality ever! 
Re: question about concieving
It is a very common desi concept that pills cause infertility.And those who are on the pill for a while have issues conceiving.
Having issues conceiving after an IUD can make sense,if some inflammatory changes and subsequent scarring occurred but they also are not a âcauseâ of infertility.
SweetladyâŚif your aunty has been on the pill for 8 years,there would have been a reason for her to be on the pill for that longâŚmaybe something along the lines of hormonal imbalance like PCOS and she was prescribed the pill.It might be a possibility that you do not know her medical history,so I think its not be the right thing to say that pills caused her infertility.
Re: question about concieving
^ true!
the BCP does not cause infertility. things like diet, exercise, mental health, etc. probably have a much bigger effect on how successfully you conceive than taking the pill does!
Re: question about concieving
I didnât said that all the pills are the same
like i said it depends on the kind of pill one is using
Re: question about concieving
I know her medical history⌠and i aint discussing the medical histroyâŚbut anyhow⌠yes in her case it is cuz of the Diana pill
and i aint attacking the pill or what so ever cuz i use one myself⌠again like i said it depends on the kind of pill one is takin
Re: question about concieving
Fertility/difficulty conceiving has nothing to do with bcps. When you are on bcps, it inhibits ovulation, instead thehormones in pills mimic your natural cycle, causing the brain to believe that ovulation has occurred hence the monthly bleeding. I had pcos even before i started having bcps, i actually had pills because of the pcos (absence of periods, cysts and hirsutism). Yes i agree that after you stop the pills, it takes a few months for the natural body hormones to kick in, it is then when your body returns to its normal cycles. It is not the pills, actually the reason that you took the pills for. Some people take it for endo as they have painful natural cycles, some for pcos and others just for contraception. The problem specially in Pakistan is that the doctors dont tell you the reason of prescribing the pills and the women are uninformed about whats happening in their bodies. If women take it for the first two reasons i mentioned or any other medical condition, then they will have the same problems once they will go off the pills, but thats not because of the pills, its because of the already present underlying condition. If you just took the pills for contraception and you had normal cycles before, then after going off the pills, within a few months, you will start getting your natural cycles back.
I had pcos, i have taken diane for around two-three years and then meliane, both are bcps. When i went off the pills, i knew my cycles will get irregular because of pcos, not because of using the pills. It took me a few months and several other medications and now i have my natural cycles just fine. Diane did not mess my system, it was already messed up before lol. So please correct your facts before posting anything.
To the OP, i agree with other posters about being the most fertile in 20s and decreasing fertility with age, but i have seen people having kids even after 40 (though ofcourse chances get lower), heck my mom had one lol. So she shouldnât pay much heed to what aunties tell her, they will be fine inshAllah. They should see a doctor and discuss the method of contraception she wants to opt for.
Re: question about concieving
I have my facts correct :)âŚ
my sister is the GP of this aunty and she referd this aunty to the gynae⌠and i aint attacking any kind of bcps cuz like i said i am using one myself ;)⌠in her case it completely messed up HER internal system due to what she CANâT conceive for the past years ⌠if ur system was messed up and turned out to be good with the use of this pill..well great it worked na
and again lets pray that allah blesses everyone with a healthy baby⌠no matter what the reason is
Re: question about concieving
Its not just I am saying without knowing. I have seen 3 cases around who took the pills and got troubles in conceiving. You cant completely deny me as I am not denying both of you⌠ofcourse there must be thousand cases you two may have seen around you about the ladies who conceived with no problems even after taking pills. I just told her what I know. I didnt ask her not to listen to anyone here and that ONLY I am right!!
P.S. Didnât like GTGâs tone. I am sorry if am being hormonal as its my EP. Give me a break!!
Re: question about concieving
^ calm down queenâŚno need to get defensive. The point I was trying to make is that one should me mindful of making blanket statements like the one you did because it unnecessarily perpetuates stereotypes and myths. You never know when someone will take your views as absolute truths/facts, in place of concrete medical diagnosis. This forum is full of constant old wives tales about conceiving and fertility and frankly, in this day and age, itâs very troublesome.
Re: question about concieving
if your husband is not ready for kids then wait for himâŚgive him time,let him decide for the right timeâŚ
because if parents are not ready to raise a child,phir aur bhi zyada problems hongiâŚ
Re: question about concieving
Khatti, thats what I am trying to say that mine one wasnt a blanket statement and I have seen some ladies suffering around due to be on contraceptive pill, out of which one is my own SIL, who is not only facing troubles in conceiving but also has gained a lot of weight and other hormonal issues. Even if someone takes my views as absolute or true, there is nothing I am asking them to TAKE but to avoid and therefore, they can have a discussion with their OB, Gynae over that. There must be some medicines which would not harm in any way⌠but there might be some harmful contraceptive pills too⌠there must be wrong insertion of IUD too which may have caused troubles in future concievings. Not everyone is provided with the same treatment & medications and thats what I was talking about. Especially, in Pakistani, there are no human rights⌠whatever happens to a human is not so important, people die or get killed and no one is there to look into the matters, by the way, have you come accross a news lately about a new born baby who wasnât cared properly in the hospital and was bit by a rat and died? the poor kid was just ONE DAY OLD!! If they canât take care of such a lil angel, do you think the Neem Hakeem Doctors would think for a single second to prescribe a RIGHT medicine to a patient??
There must be some best contraceptive pills or there can be some harmful too⌠my own view is, if you are doubtful about anything, just avoid it and stay away!! and I am saying this, because I have seen when you switch doctors, the other says, Oh! the previous doctor wasnt prescribing you the right medication⌠and writes you something new and the chain goes on!!
so, on THIS basis, I passed the comment!! Hope you understand now!!