NomiCA
November 26, 2010, 7:09pm
80
Re: quesion for ladies
In this whole thread, we are debating under the assumption that a man can never do such thing (second shadi) only with the intention of naiki. This assumption (or generalization) is wrong to begin with. I know that the majority of men would only go for second marriage because of sexual pleasure, but believe it or not, there are few who would do that because they see it as a solid way of supporting or helping another person (a widow/divorced woman with a child). Why is this the only way? Because that is the only long lasting way, that is a guy become a supporter of a woman for the rest of life. Honestly guys, in this day and age, you need to be related to that person to support that person.
See, I said that its easy to see this whole thing from the POV of the first wife, but any of us or our family member could get into the position of second woman. A woman with no long term support system who is divorced/widow and has a small child.
Its so easy to criticize and stop your hubby to marry such woman (as a second marriage) and I totally understand why, but would you ask your single brother to go and marry her. No, you want an untouched single woman for your brother or son or cousin or any other male family member. So finding a match for herself is now a burden of that second woman now. We as society are only going to criticize, we are not going to offer her any help. When I said help, please remember that she may have physical needs also, not just financial and emotional.
I am not sure who has double standards in our society, men … or women who rule those men (be them their wives or mothers or sisters)
Agreed…
Allah has ‘DISLIKED’ the act of divorce and ‘ALLOWED’ second marriage (when conditions are fulfilled,and intentions are pure)
so all those ladies saying they would get a divorce …they should think twice before throwing ‘islamic rights’ whenever it suits them in any condition..