Queen of the kitchen

Reha · July 7, 2015, 4:09pm

Re: Queen of the kitchen

Umera Ahmed's "Meri Zaat Zarra-e-Benishaan"

Lol, i didn’t mean its terrible to live apart. in my own family 90% of the people live in neutral families, not in joint families. All the problem i have is that if you want to do each and every thing in your life your way, then why you don’t make any issue of it at your own parent’s house. why don’t you move out of your parent’s house?
also, i am a strong supporter of the fact that if you want to live without in-laws then you should be upfront about it at the time of rishta. you should clearly state that you would not want to live with in-laws and then let the other party decide if they want to go ahead or not. But what most of the girls and their families do, is they never state such thing at that time, in fact make it appear like their girl is “Mil jul ker rehne wali larki”, and then just within months of wedding the girl starts to demand a separate home. That’s the mindset that i disapprove of.

Yeah, things change. Such is life and you’ll just have to roll with the punches.

When you’re unmarried, you might think of having 5 kids and then after having one you might decide 2 is enough. When you are getting married, you just see these nice people who were bestowed with so much jahaiz - because our society makes a woman believe that jahaiz will give her izzat - and then after marriage its all gone. WHY? Because meeting someone during rishta proceedings and giving their mom a nice gold set and LIVING with someone are two completely different things. The rishta meetings are not indicative of what life will be like post marriage - AT ALL.

And as for moving out of your parents’ home…there is a difference and will always be a difference between in laws and parents. The difference is your parents gave birth to you, raised you, fed you, clothed you, worked hard to shape you, stayed up night and day to care for you, educated you, supported you, financed your entire life with their hard earned money - your in-laws did not. Your parents have rights over you no one else does - not even your in-laws so let’s not even begin to compare the two. They are NOT on the same level. Your in-laws deserve respect, honor and love from you but your obedience belongs to your OWN parents. If you think your mother who carried you in her belly for 9 months is the same as a woman who is now related to you by marriage…then you have a bigger problem on your hands. Your mother’s and father’s rights are well defined in Islam. I don’t see any saasu-maa rights for a bahu anywhere…and if there are…I want to see them.

Again, I do not mean that you should be badtameez with your husband’s parents. They raised and gave birth to the man you married and deserve utmost respect…but they need to come first for HIM. He nor they should be shoving themselves down someone’s throat they didn’t raise or create.