Re: Queen of the kitchen
Ruby…is Mil’s cooking decent overall? Can you manage to eat it comfortably? If so…then there’s no need to insist on a daily basis that you’re gonna cook the salan in your own way. For example, if she makes a decent daal…then just cook it in her way. It’ll be less work for you and it won’t go to waste because everyone will eat it. And on those days you can supplement the meal by making a kick-a$$ salad or raita or some sweet-dish …or maybe a snack or something lol.
A couple times a week you can make a salan in your own way…but just make a small amount so it won’t go to waste. And on those days…offer to make mil a second dish as per her method…so that everyone’s needs are met. Now…if your mil does not get mad at you and happily makes a second salan for herself…then you’re lucky and it’s less work for you. You can’t force her to eat what you cook…and she has to eat something…so it’s better to just opt for a solution which meets needs of majority of the people.
Also…when she interferes and tells you how to cook…what changes is she asking you to make? If it’s minor things like increasing/decreasing the mirchain or namak or some other spice…then that doesn’t really alter your cooking too much. The more important thing is not whose zaiqa reigns supreme in the kitchen…but that you are pitching in as a member of that household. Even if you cook according to her way 5 out of 7 days…it’s still sawab ka kaam and a gesture of love and care. It doesn’t make you “less” in any way.
You said that you want to contribute to your marriage…but ask yourself if it’s only that you want to contribute or do you seek individual recognition/influence? Is this more about helping in general or is it a culinary battle of egos?