Hello..I hope I can get some specific gift ideas to give to my fiance and his parents, brother and sister. So this question is for girls who are engaged/married who gave gifts to their in laws.
I’m an American born Pakistani girl and don’t have any clue on what the expectations are for gift giving at mangnis here in the US and neither does my family as their friends got their kids married in Pak and things are done differently there.
Please help me with exact gift ideas! For the record, my future in laws are kind of labels oriented and like nice things…we are more budget conscious but still need to obilge with this expectation of gifts.
For my mother in law we got her 2 unstitched suits from Pakistani that are nice high quality in pure silk. Were also buying a perfume gift set.
For sister, we also got her 2 unstiched suits plus I was thinking an additonal gift around $50.
For father in law, two shirts/sweaters and colgone set
For brother, two tops and do I need to give one more item?
We’re saving gold for the women at the wedding.
What do my parents give my fiance in addition to the suite he will wear at the mangni? More clothes? Cologne, iPad, etc etc? Specific ideas are appreciated! Do we create gift boxes for each person with tons of stuff in it? Please help!
Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom's family-US based
For your fiancé add a really nice watch and cuff links for his gift. Maybe some dress shirts with matching ties. I like your iPad idea but I think maybe you can give that him personally on your wedding night. I think it would make for a better wife to husband gift as opposed to family to husband type gift. I think that would be nicer. Shoes, polo shirts, mens care packages wrapped in nice gift sets. Do you know some of the brands your husband likes? Try and incorporate some of those in his set. Keep the receipts for your husbands things so you guys can switch out things later on if something doesn't fit etc. I think your husbands basket should be the biggest and nicest of them all to clearly look like "oh this is for the groom." I think his wedding day items in one basket like his sherwani/suit with its complimenting items and then extra "just because" gifts in a another gift set/tray/box. Kind of think about all of the things a guy could use on his wedding day. Thats what we did for my husband. If you have the budget for it, the art of shaving has some really nice stuff for men. Holiday sales are still going, its the best time to shop.
Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom's family-US based
You can make gifts sets, baskets for each person. Grab some large flat trays from like target or a dollar store and set up their gifts in different trays. Wrap it in colored or clear cellophane with ribbons.
Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
Gift boxes with the tops off and wrapped in cellophane will be nice too. So everything can be seen for pictures.
Matching chooris for the women outfits and for the mens some nice ties. For the sister, pick up some MAC eye shadows and makeup sets would be nice. Who wouldn’t love getting nice makeup?? Brush sets, eye shadows, general items like that. I think you did good for the men, I would suggest adding some matching ties/cufflinks for them. Dressy stuff. Think of things that would all come in handy during the wedding festivities so all dressy stuff, nothing casual or anything. If you got cologne for hubby and dad, I would suggest equaling it out and giving the brother something in the cologne department as well.
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
Really? You have to give gifts to the groom’s family on the engagement?
My nand recently got married (in Karachi) and we gave the groom gifts (a perfume and a couple of dress shirts & dress pants), and a mithayee ka tokraa (basket) for the family.
Before the wedding, my MIL asked the groom what gift and jahez expectations are and he said nothing, we don’t expect gifts and please don’t give any. We ended up giving him a Movada watch and cash as salaami and gave unstitched suits for the immediate family… that’s all (apart from the bride’s private use stuff like furniture for her bedroom, clothes, etc… it was mostly her stuff).
Same was the case for me when I got married back in 2005. My family gave my husband a branded watch and cash.
People actually give gold to the groom’s mom and sisters?
Does it all depend on the social class? (we’re middle class, but white collar people).
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom's family-US based
^ People definitely give gold as well.
We had our nikkah a couple of months back (just close family invited). My parents gave my husband $2,500.00 cash and his wedding ring. My brother bought him a Louis Vuitton wallet as a gift and I bought him an IPhone 5S. All of my mom's brothers and sisters (8 in total) gave him $500.00 cash from each couple as a gift and dad's siblings (3 in total) gave him $700.00 cash each couple.
His family is overseas, otherwise they would have received gifts on the nikkah as well.
He bought me my diamond wedding ring and band (2 carats) and a gold set as well. His cousins who attended gave me cash.
On the wedding, my parents are getting gold sets made for each of his 3 sisters to gift them. For his mom it's going to be gold karaye (bangles) and for him and his dad, a TagHeur watch each. Plus clothes, mithai and other small gifts perfume sets , handbags for the sisters (branded) etc.
Having said this though, they are going above and beyond for my gifts and every one of my dresses they are having made is designer from HSY to Maria B including the bridals. My in laws have specifically told my family they don't want us to bring any gifts but my mom wants to.
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
I got engaged recently. It was more like a baat/pakki + dua-e-khair as the families decided to do the actual ring exchange on the wedding and it was a rather small occasion in my house with a total of 10 people only. we ended up getting the parents, sisters, their husbands, and his aunt and uncle that came colognes (men) and for the ladies perfume gift sets. We also have a mithai basket and for the little kids we got a chocolate basket made and wrapper up nicely. Groom = salami + cologne set
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
So many gifts for mangni???
What are you going to give at the wedding? I think that a suit for the women and shirts for the men is enough.and watches are normally given at the wedding.
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
I am floored seeing this post.
Seeing all this gift giving makes me sick to my stomach. I could not do this for my children, their in laws etc, it really is a huge stress and burden seeing all of this.
A close cousin recently had her mangni broken a week before the big engagement party as they did not give into the demands of the platinum diamond sets, and more.
Otherwise I have never seen this many gifts given on a mangni.
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
I don’t know anyone who gives this many gifts at the magni! It seems ridiculous. I guess its fine if you’re rich and the amount spent on this is not a big deal…but for the regular average family, this seems very over the top. What will they be given during the actual nikah?
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
Not everyone gives gold to the in laws at the wedding. It’s not unheard of, of course, but not a done deal. The absolute must is to give a suit each to the family ( not extended ) of the groom. Though, some families give suits etc to the extended family too. I am talking about the norm in middle class families.
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
I think the say no to dowry was pretty effective back in the 70s/80s. Giving out gifts is all codewords for dowry related expectations so people have become wiser. I know there a sudden cut off in my mother’s family because the matriarchs huddled together and decided excessive gift giving was not khandani at all and from that time onwards they were going to laugh at them behind their backs (being a-holes for a good deed lol).
My dad’s family is a bit village so he’s still baffled that I’m not buying truckful of stuff and not giving out gold like I grow it on trees but thankfully he’s been brought into the 21st century by yours truly.
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
I absolutely agree! I was answering other posters who said that gold was given to in laws usually. Of course, one does not haves to give gifts at al,l as the giving of gifts is a matter of free wil,l not a compulsion. What I meant was usual etiquette. I do not like to condone dowry giving or lena dena at all. But if someone wants to gift anything to their in laws of their own free will, and are asking a simple question, I shall answer it.
Re: Q for the engaged ppl: Specific Engagement gift ideas for groom’s family-US based
@eastern11 this thread raised a moot question. I think people love their daughter so much and spend wholeheartedly in marriage which sets a benchmark. People whisper oh he/she gave this much that much etc. But this costs severely on finantial condition as well as life style of some people. I see many people save money throughout life to spend a significant amount of hard earned money on marriage (which also affects GDP of a country). While spending lavishly for your rani bitiya you can’t imagine how it affect life of others bitiyas. I don’t know about elsewhere but situation is worse in India perticulry Haryana where some families don’t like to have a baby girl, govt is working hard to improve sex ratio.
