Re: Pursue career after marriage
INSECURITY AND SOCIAL STATUS.
So sad to hear about this situation again and again, wife wanting to work and hubby not wanting it. And always for the same reasons.
Is he as equally educated as you..I mean post graduate level? Men who marry women more educated tend to have insecurities about this and the deal with it by reducing your status so that they become superior.
The other problem is when in laws worry about what others will say.The in laws probably dont wont people thinking that their son cant support his wife which is why she is working.
My gut reaction would also be to leave this now before it blows up afterwards but not before fighting for your right!
With regards to a woman working...Hazrat Khadija was a businesswoman and the Prophet was actually HER employee. She chose to give up working after marriage but it was a choice SHE made. Women are allowed to work outisde the home with the permission of the husband..NO INLAW PERMISSION IS REQUIRED.
I think that a fair compromise may be to say "I wont work immediately after marriage but will retain the right to go back to work if I want to". If he agrees to it and the in laws dont...doesnt matter. Use a little trick.
The nikaah nama is not only for signing consent it can be also used a prenuptial agreement. Have your hubby ensure that it is written in the nikaah nama that you are entitled to work after marriage. That becomes a contractual obligation that even in laws cannot change.
When my sister got married, we had all these agreements of what she should and shouldnt do but after marriage it all changed and she ended up divorcing. I got married in the middle of my studies and only got married on the understanding that I would be allowed to finish after marriage. It never happened. My sister wrote in her nikaah nama that she was entitled to work but chose to be a stay at home mom, however the choice was always there.
If these people are not agreeing now, if they eventually agree, it will be reluctantly and there is no guarantee that they will hold up their end of the bargain..unless you get it written somewhere so that you have proof to counter them with.
Good luck.