Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
Aray I am not talking about fights .. read my post #20 again
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
khuda ka khauf kero ppl
we shouldnt talk on this matter to begin with
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
Posted that after Redvelet's post and didn't see yours till after posting^^
That I understand. I am not talking about when you have a fight and you dont even feel like seeing other person's face. I am talking about punishment, like till you do this for me, or correct that .. you are sleeping on the couch.
So that is basically bribing them for sex, lol. Of course not all women do that, some just give the silent treatment and ignore their husband's advances.
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
khuda ka khauf kero ppl
we shouldnt talk on this matter to begin with
why?
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
A married friend of mine (Muslim, by the way) said that it bothers her when ...after an argument.....her husband wants to have sex....because she still feels hurt/frustrated and basically doesn't feel an emotional connection to him. And to me that makes sense. Sure, some women might deny sex as a control tactic.....but at the same...it can also be seen as a common sense thing. When you're upset at a person....it's understandable that you don't even feel like talking to them/hanging out with them....let alone letting them climb on top of you. And if you feel that there is no closure, the issues haven't been resolved...that there's still some tension there....could it possibly make her feel like more of an object?
Yes, sure....men and women both have biological/physical needs. But it's also known that both genders view sex differently/get aroused differently/are built differently/respond to sex differenlty. While having an emotional connection might not be necessary for men to have sex...or does not always have to be in place.....it tends to have greater importance for women. If this is happening often in a marriage.....then it's a problem....and they both need to look at issues...because too much of it can affect self-esteem....has the potential to destroy a marriage.
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
because it is wrong: islamically, ethically, and morally
why?
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
^ What is wrong islamically? We are not discussing anyone's personal life here.
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
firstly, if this sort of discussion was allowed it any level, prophet Muhamma pbuh would have done it as well. he didn't so we shouldn't either.
secondly, if we are not discussing personal life, we will eventually end up doing so. redvelvet already did the deed of being the first one to discuss a private situation/conversation ...
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Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
first of all, Prophet 
did discuss it .. the famous hadess that angels curse the woman whole night who denied sex to her husband .. is exactly inline with this topic.
second, Rv did not discuss “the couple”. She talked about “a couple” that none of us know. So it is still being discussed in general fomain.
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
A married friend of mine (Muslim, by the way) said that it bothers her when ...after an argument.....her husband wants to have sex....because she still feels hurt/frustrated and basically doesn't feel an emotional connection to him. And to me that makes sense. Sure, some women might deny sex as a control tactic.....but at the same...it can also be seen as a common sense thing. When you're upset at a person....it's understandable that you don't even feel like talking to them/hanging out with them....let alone letting them climb on top of you. And if you feel that there is no closure, the issues haven't been resolved...that there's still some tension there....could it possibly make her feel like more of an object?
Yes, sure....men and women both have biological/physical needs. But it's also known that both genders view sex differently/get aroused differently/are built differently/respond to sex differenlty. While having an emotional connection might not be necessary for men to have sex...or does not always have to be in place.....it tends to have greater importance for women. If this is happening often in a marriage.....then it's a problem....and they both need to look at issues...because too much of it can affect self-esteem....has the potential to destroy a marriage.
This TLK bro... it doesnt necessarily have to be a full blown argument or fight for this to happen it could be that ...ive asked this guy hundreds of times to do such and such for me and he doesnt...he doesnt give a damn about me and now he wants to get physical?...
withholding it for punishment is seriously wrong...but withholding it under such circumstances that you don't feel like doing it cuz u dont feel ur spouse is taking care of your other needs is a whole other story
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
my post was actually based on your mentioned hadith.
http://www.paklinks.com/gs/life-and-relationships/512400-punishing-hubby-by-denying-sex.html#post8394839
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
firstly, if this sort of discussion was allowed it any level, prophet Muhamma pbuh would have done it as well. he didn't so we shouldn't either.
secondly, if we are not discussing personal life, we will eventually end up doing so. redvelvet already did the deed of being the first one to discuss a private situation/conversation ... ... .. ...
chillax....she didnt mention names... and none of us are in any position to judge RV's actions anyways...
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
What's wrong with talking about sex? If it bothers you, don't read it and especially don't bring religion into it. We are all adults and registered members of GS. If a comment is inappropriate it will get deleted.
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
This TLK bro... it doesnt necessarily have to be a full blown argument or fight for this to happen it could be that ...ive asked this guy hundreds of times to do such and such for me and he doesnt...he doesnt give a damn about me and now he wants to get physical?...
withholding it for punishment is seriously wrong...but withholding it under such circumstances that you don't feel like doing it cuz u dont feel ur spouse is taking care of your other needs is a whole other story
I am specifically talking about withholding it for punishment.
When hunband/wife fight, no partner feels atracted to each other so its a misconception that even after a fight, hubby would want to have his sexual desired fulfil. RV's case maybe one in thousand kind of case.
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
when would you withhold it for punishment tho?
thats something im not understanding
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
waiting for some Dil-Jala/Dil-Jali to comment here and only then it will become a real topic to discuss. Abhi tak most of the people hawa mein teer chala rahay hein :)
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
Why do men always become the innocent victims of their wives? I have heard stories where men have tortured their wives by having sexual relationship outside of marriage and kept their wife hostage at home with no emotional or physical relationship. I agree that either side is wrong for giving such punishment but it is important to understand that men are equally capable of punishing their wives in this manner.
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
when would you withhold it for punishment tho?
I dont know. Whenever you make your hubby sleep on a couch, you are indirectly denying him physical contact.
Oh, you forgot our anniversary, you are sleeping on the couch today.
waiting for some Dil-Jala/Dil-Jali to comment here and only then it will become a real topic to discuss. Abhi tak most of the people hawa mein teer chala rahay hein :)
If you are waiting for someone to come and add a personal testimony, then you can forget about that. :D
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
I have heard stories where men have tortured their wives by having sexual relationship outside of marriage and kept their wife hostage at home with no emotional or physical relationship. .
stop quoting stuff from 'teen aurtain teen kahaniyan'.
fuzool main.
Re: punishing hubby by denying sex
What if it works? lol