Re: Proud Ladies
some people are just reserved.
Maybe its the green hair PCG
i am one of those proud guarded girls.
why? i just don't like talking to strangers and making petty conversation.
i honestly can't be bothered. i mean, dude, i'm not in the mood to talk, leave me Alone. go send an sms to someone or something, stop bothering Me.
i answered you nicely the first time. neutrally the next. bit aloof the third. at least NOW get the message???
This is sort of what I'm talking about. This kind of attitude, except at a dawat or get-together/picnic, etc. I mean, why come out to a gathering if you can't be bothered to socialize or be courteous and carry a conversation with someone? And if the conversation is not on a topic you're interested in, then why not take it to a conversation you ARE interested in?
I mean, if someone came up to me and wanted to talk about cricket, which I have no interest in, I'd humor them, and then try switching the topic to something in the neighborhood that I AM interested in, like "So, do you play any sports?" or "Are you part of some community sports team?".
It's not hard...
And I guess I don't get it because as much as I understand not being in the mood to socialize, I usually actually DON'T go out if I'm in a sour mood...because I know I'm only going to spoil the experience for others...
shrugs
Call me crazy...
Re: Proud Ladies
BTW, I guess I missed a big party here. If ya'll need to say something, you can PM me or better yet, I'll give you my phone number and you can call me and give me those galian directly to me. But then be prepared to listen to my response. ;)
Re: Proud Ladies
did you mean arrogant ladies ?.. title seems a little misleading,
Re: Proud Ladies
PCG, I know the type of women you are talking about. There's this group of women who've been married a while, are somewhat well settled, have hubbies who earn well and during that process have acquired some arrogance. They feel it below their dignity to talk to most people. Usually it is because they actually don't know what to say but they paint this aura of superiority around them. Best to ignore them and find some humbler ladies. Or ask them if they are feeling ill :D
Re: Proud Ladies
Nikkie, I don't get it though, because I will go to a dawat and there are more people there like that than should be. Sure, I meet some real gems of women, but many of them, plain and simple, make it a goal in their life to spend as much money on clothes and jewelry, then they sit at dawats pretending to act bored and as if its a waste of their time to even speak to people around them, and then if you try talking to them, they will either be cold and disinterested OR they will actually be point blank rude (kind of like my lovely memoni'as back in florida, and if any of you are from Florida, you might actually know about the crew I'm talking about because they're notorious...or you can just ask any desi boy in south florida because chances are they've messed around with one of the hijabi ones).
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be a lemon about this.
But, I am.
I kind of actually want to make desi friends. Real friends. Not competetive insecure narrow-minded inexperienced shmucks like I often come across.
Having said that, I'm glad I do have the few cool friends I do have that are Pakistani and are not totally nuts.
LOL..and watch the color drain from their heavily painted faces :k:
Re: Proud Ladies
Let me offer some counterpoints here
1) You may want to get some feedback from people close to you about if there are things that you may do or ay which turn people off
2) secondly, I agree with striking up a conversation but there are many times when you find little or nothing in common with someone, at what point does one look for a different person to chat with,otherwise one becomes what is referred to as jaan ko hitler :)
3) In such events instead of being upset about people who dont socialize in the way you do, keep moving.
and as people are mocking a certain type of ladies...If by mannerisms and clothing and style, you can tell ahead of time what someone is like, then why bother?..if they are the type of people you would make fun of or look down on, then why even bother talking to them?
I must say that my own experience has been very different, very rarely if ever I run into someone who just does not want to talk, they may have completely different interests but we can be just civil for a while and exchange pleasantries and move on.
Some people are also guarded against people they dont know, so having someone in common introduce you and stick around to chat for a bit helps, lastly at times going to events, where people know each other, they may be trying to catch up with their friends especially in those large desi gatherings and spending time talking to new people is last on the priority list compared to catching up with people they know.
Re: Proud Ladies
are you a lady?
No.
Moving on.
Re: Proud Ladies
no but i know a real lady when i see her
PS: moving on
i am one of those proud guarded girls.
why? i just don't like talking to strangers and making petty conversation.
i honestly can't be bothered. i mean, dude, i'm not in the mood to talk, leave me Alone. go send an sms to someone or something, stop bothering Me.
i answered you nicely the first time. neutrally the next. bit aloof the third. at least NOW get the message???
Um, then WHY are you at the gathering? Sorry but you are not some 12 year old who was dragged to an event by her parents...so why the nasty attitude with someone whose trying to be friendly?
Too often I go to desi event, gatherings, and I meet these girls, who when you sit and try to have a conversation with them, they wont do anything to move the conversation forward. I mean, I guess they smile and answer your topic starting questions nicely, but then they sit there quietly. And you have to prod further by other conversation material...
Urgh. It's so annoying. I end up walking away and trying to have a conversation with someone else, but honestly, I feel like most desi girls at desi parties are like this. They're just so super guarded, it's hard to make friends.
Am I missing something here?
may b u emit a different vibe? or may b u dun share the common grounds with them to talk abt?? and ev 1 has a different personality n interests
use the same principle with desi women which you use for socially interacting with any 1 else i.e. start from sum generic discussion and then after determining the interests of the other person steer the discussion towards those topics.
p.s. just try 2 keep the prejudice away that desi gals are only interested in silly dramaz/cosmetics etc. or desi guyz can only talk abt cricket/they are the best thing happened 2 human kind etc. :D
Re: Proud Ladies
Well you were pretty easy to talk to; I don't think you were standoffish at all.
But then again, when I announced a meetup here, you were willing to attend, and so it means you have an outgoing friendly personality.
You were like one out of how many new yorker guppies that showed up? I'm sure there are plenty out there miserable with their lives who decided not to show up because they're too good. Same thing with other situations. There ARE people who will just not talk to you much because they just dont want to make any more friends.
I just don't get that mentality...
Re: Proud Ladies
i agree with u PCG..
i find it more annoying that they are too proud to start a conversation with you but with someone else they are chit chatty away like no tomorrow.
Ive had this happen to me a lot.... and the main reason it happens with moi is cus they think i dont speak urdu, and also... cus im an aussie bred
Re: Proud Ladies
Really? I've noted it with some of the memon girls out where I used to live. Not as much with the urdu-speaking or punjabi crowd...
Re: Proud Ladies
Its with every circle PCG.
I love chit chatting.. u may have noticed. So if someone starts talking to me, i will most likely be talking to them for at least the next half hour. But when you are ignored for most part of the night, even if u initiate teh conversation.. it gets pretty annoying.
I know my urdu aint teh best.. i have an accent, but at least i am trying to converse. So if someoen is gonna pretend they are having a hard time understanding me... than may as well head to the kitchen and clean up the hostesses dishes.. seriously. Which has happened on far too many occassions..
I know girls have their own groups... and a lot of times, people do not want to converse in english if it's doesnt come natural to them.. but if someone is trying to speak urdu with u, even if they sound slighly amateaurish.. whats the big deal? sorry... i am peeved
Re: Proud Ladies
People refuse to speak to you if you have an american accent while speakiung Urdu?
that really sucks. Why bother speaking to such people then.
Re: Proud Ladies
You know who isn’t difficult to converse with? The girls who are married, and now that their marriage ceremonies are over and they are yesterday’s news.
At that point, they’re all chatty.
Re: Proud Ladies
LOL! PCG.. no.. i used to be just as chatty before i got married. Being yesterday's news or today's has nothing to do with it. Some people just do not want to converse. Most of the girls i meet are married with kids...
Anyways, my issues are a bit different.
Sara, have you heard aussie urdu? it can sound rather annoying