Proposal from UK

[ll_xx_ll]

Re: Proposal from UK

@soconfused

I know if I was in a similar position, god forbid, then I’d probably lie and not tell the guy especially if I like him–sounds horrible, but sorry, I’m human and selfish.

Having said that, I’ve made a conscious effort to stay away from Zina and stuff like that; God knows how many times I’ve been tempted but I’ve tried really hard to keep from doing stuff like that purely because I DON’T want to be in the position where I have to decide whether or not to disclose such info to my SO. Because I stayed away from this, I expect that whoever I end up with to have done the same. It might be selfish and wrong, but if I had to “suffer” (sometimes it really does feel like that) than I want to know that the person I’m going to be with grappled with the same but made it through.

I’m not trying to talk down to anyone because for all I know, I could succumb tomorrow and end up sleeping with someone, but all I’m saying is I would be PISSED if I found out that the guy I was going to be spending time with wasn’t a virgin because 1) I’M A VIRGIN 2) HE LIED TO ME. You’re starting your relationship with a lie…and one that is a HUGE one and if found out could potentially destroy your marriage.

I guess if he doesn’t ask, then you don’t need to bring it up but if it DOES COME UP, I think you owe it to him to tell the truth.

And sorry but I totally agree with the poster that wrote about the ayah about fornicators with fornicators and chaste with chaste. Everyone makes mistakes, but part of the reason we’ve been given brains is to understand that our actions have far-reaching consequences.

**if it comes up she should back out quietly without offering an answer

u agree with the ayat so do I but i believe that Allah makes sure that that happens not mortals …

i believe in the pardah ayat (re: post #6 posted by desmesme)**