^ Yeah thats all lovely but really....in homes where the wife cannot even go out w/o asking for permission, like hell they'll allow her name on their property.
I wish things were this good in real life.
Well of course this is abuse as we understand this, however, that is why women should have financial security as well. I.e, have a job etc.
and this
What I've noticed about joint family systems is that sometimes even the husbands name isn't even included let alone the wife.......maybe something should be written in a contract and signed just in case something happens???? Never know what curve balls lifes gonna throw at you.........
My name has been on every rental we've had together and now the mortgage(s).
For the rental, i do most of the researching and applying, so my name goes on for sure... plus its easier to get rental if you have two people with incomes applying rather than just the one person.
What if its the other way around. I had a property and my husband joined me. The previous property I bought alone a month before marriage, so it had only my name on it, but my husband paid off half of the morgage with his salary and the other half I paid plus the profit we made by selling it (prices went up), so the next property we bought and sold the previous one, we I added my husband's name to our new property so now we are both full owners.
we both have our names on Mortgage but because my wife's last name starts with "A", our builder found it easy to pick her name and have all utilities on her name so she gets all the bills :D
So, then Fayz, what is a married couple to do? If you're going to get married and buy a house, do you think your wife will take kindly if you do not sign her name on it as a co-owner, and say "hey, baby, lets give this 3 years to make sure you ain't no gold digger, and THEN I'll put your name on the papers"
???
Are these discussions ever had before marriage, or people take it for granted?
Entering into a marriage with a woman who sits at home - you are basically obligated to share your wealth with her and to co-own property with her. If you don't want that, then marry a woman who works and ask her to contribute 50% of the worth to get her name on the property as a co-owner. But then, you don't have the authority to order her around and have her cook your meals either. ;) I'd like to see a guy with some cahoonas to do that.
ok..even if she does get hte property in her name and theres a problem later and the in laws nd husband end up hating her..they WILL find a way to make her get lost..and EVEN IF she stays there..her treatemnt in that house will make her want ot leave on her own..
Sure, if that's the property they're going to live in, then why not?
Oh but wait, then that would undermine the male's Islamic role as a provider right? Well, then there go all the other gender rules, like she has to cook for him every night. :)
i know your situation, you want to have it in your name or atleast be part owner of it right?
my parents have been married for 27 years and even now my dad and his sisters refuses to transfer the ownership to my mom. the simple answer is gift the house to the kids.
well he should name it to you but since his parents have paid some part they might not want your name there. i know how my moms in laws were. even after 26 years of her marriage she can't speak in any family property or personal issue. my phupo simply says 'humare ghar ke bahoo in mamlo mein nahi bolte'
all you should do is talk to your husband, make him realise how its important to you and you need the security. dont pressurize. i think it only makes them stubborn. show him your love and care and then talk about it.
in islam if your husband dies your husbands siblings have a share in it too. so its better if its named on the wives name. come on you marry her for life, don't you trust her with the property? or suddenly you feel insecure?
i believe it should be on the wives name or joint. just relax and hopefully it will sort out. fighting isnt the best option.
I had my own place before we were married, so upon doing so i had Rose's name put on, so now we both put our salaries towards paying off our mortgage, rightly so.
No responsibility in taking care of the wife's and childrens' future. Such a turnoff.
umm satisfying a gold digger's ego has nothing to do with 'taking care of the wife's or the childs need's' lol... seriously...
infact, a woman who wants her name smitten into the guy's property (which he owned before marriage) is no different from a guy who demands loads of dowry... Greedy scumsbags, both of 'em...
if you come across a woman who makes such an absurd demand guys, please find someone else.
I had my own place before we were married, so upon doing so i had Rose's name put on, so now we both put our salaries towards paying off our mortgage, rightly so.
That makes sense, but what if:
i) the place was paid off already i.e. no monthly payments
ii) your wife was not employed and had no plans of getting employed?
If you're not going to let her work and build up her own security, then you really should put her name on the property, regardless of whether you got it before or after your wedding. As long as you put in the money for it. I think the issue becomes more cloudy when it is a place that your parent paid for. Because then, your parents might want to split up the worth among their kids, and then it becomes difficult to put one couple's name on it.
If you're letting her work, and she's building up her own assets, then that's another story. But then just like you're not letting her put her name on your assets acquired before marriage, you probably shouldn't be touching any of her income, as that is what she'll be relying on after you die.
A girl in a scenario like yours - lets say you pass away. Now she doesn't have a house to her name, where is she going to go?
It's not about greed, spock. I think its about security. Greed would be her asking for gold every month, etc. Security is having a house and some assets in your name that God forbid, on a rainy day, you may need to fall back on. Anything can happen in the future and I've seen people disabled and left single and they have nothing in their name. It friggin sucks. They go out on wheelchairs alone out there on the street.
Now yes, that's extreme, but if you don't take care of securing your future, that's exactly what happens to you.
As far as Iconoclast's claim, the Quran asks you to provide for your wife and to provide protection. Woh tho sab ne parha hai. So, if you leave her destitute after you die because you never planned properly or because you were too selfish to put her name on anything, then how are you being a proper husband?
It surprises me that guys like you exist. At least most educated reasonable Pakistani people don't think like this, but as far as poorer families are concerned, I'm sure there is little attention paid to these matters.
And then women end up at the Eidhi center and we wonder why.