Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
There are obvious differences, they're probably not always true but there are differences.
^ and how does that explain your post...that you see how guys tend to be "corrupt" or those women are lacking sharam?
It should be about the family itself, and NOT the ethnicity that they're marrying into. I can understand if these differences are felt in Pakistan where the population of Pakistanis is quite large, however, outside of Pakistan, considering how Pakistanis may be the minority, they shouldn't hold so many differences.
Well if you read my post, it mentioned how punjabi girls themselves would say a lot of nonsense about punjabis in general. As for the guys being corrupt, I have seen pics and they themselves are open about all that they do, ie. clubbing, drinking, etc. Some of the punjabi families we know, they actually drink and have wine bottles and beer cases in their homes. I've never seen this kind of stuff in any urdu speaking person's house. This doesn't mean all punjabi guys are corrupt, or that urdu speaking people aren't capable of having alcohol in their homes, it's just what I've grown up seeing and hearing. These are my personal experiences thats all. My nana was Karachi's mayor once upon a time, and there's one thing he told to my mom, he said agar beta hou tou us ke liyay zaroor ek Punjabi ladki laana, lekin apni beti kabhi kisi Punjabi ko mat dena. He said this because, punjabi girls masha'Allah sey are very beautiful, make good housewives, cook delicious food, take good care etc, and the guys he came across were corrupt perhaps? As for the aunties not having sharam...I've seen with my own eyes the stuff they are capable of saying and doing. Like I said, my mom associates with a group of punjabi aunties as well. I don't mind, they can do say/do whatever they want, at times I'm just left :-O. But to be honest, they make the dawats a lot more entertaining to be in, especially since most of the aunties kids opt out of attending dawats. I have nothing against punjabis seriously, I'm pretty fond of them :) Oh and this doesn't mean I stereotype all punjabi guys as being corrupt or all gals being routy and all. The poster wanted to know differences so I stated some, if you don't like my opinion then I'm sorry, but just know that we are all entitled to our own opinions :)
thank you! 
I am not bashing anybody, rather just questioning some points that the person made.
Yeah well watever points the other person made are cuz of his/her exp ... thats wat was asked ... if u don't agree then just say that you don't agree with wat xyz person said and post your own experiences
my best frnd who i've known my whole lifee (literally) is punjabi and i am urdu speaking ... so i think if we can go thru 24 years whn we've lived in diff countries thru a better part of those 24 years then making a marriage work shouldn't be impossible
Well if you read my post, it mentioned how punjabi girls themselves would say a lot of nonsense about punjabis in general. As for the guys being corrupt, I have seen pics and they themselves are open about all that they do, ie. clubbing, drinking, etc. Some of the punjabi families we know, they actually drink and have wine bottles and beer cases in their homes. I've never seen this kind of stuff in any urdu speaking person's house. This doesn't mean all punjabi guys are corrupt, or that urdu speaking people aren't capable of having alcohol in their homes, it's just what I've grown up seeing and hearing. These are my personal experiences thats all. My nana was Karachi's mayor once upon a time, and there's one thing he told to my mom, he said agar beta hou tou us ke liyay zaroor ek Punjabi ladki laana, lekin apni beti kabhi kisi Punjabi ko mat dena. He said this because, punjabi girls masha'Allah sey are very beautiful, make good housewives, cook delicious food, take good care etc, and the guys he came across were corrupt perhaps? As for the aunties not having sharam...I've seen with my own eyes the stuff they are capable of saying and doing. Like I said, my mom associates with a group of punjabi aunties as well. I don't mind, they can do say/do whatever they want, at times I'm just left :-O. But to be honest, they make the dawats a lot more entertaining to be in, especially since most of the aunties kids opt out of attending dawats.
Thats very strange because i have seen that majority of Punjabis are lot more conservative than urdu speaking people, though , one can see all types in both communities. Is there any reason you have only met the aunties that don't have sharam? May be its not a Punjabi trait but the type of people you attarct or hang out with.
:k:
P.S lot’s of generalisation and stereotyping in this thread.
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
ok here's the deal. this is the way i see it, as an insider. i'm a punjabi. and i will admit, that punjabis and the language, if you're an outsider, you will not get it. to you it will seem crass and rude and so uncivilized. but the culture itself is more to it. we are frank, we are loud and we have no reservations. we will meet you and treat you like you're another member of the family. to some it might seem besharam or whatever. but that's how it is. we aren't going to necessarily do the aap and tashreef. we will say tuwadda and jee ayan nu. now that does not mean that the urdu speaking people are just aloof and so cold. they will get comfortable with you as well, but not necessarily right away. and i can say all of this because my closest friends are urdu speaking, and i have seen how both of these families work.
problems will arise if you let them arise in such a marriage. the whole pulao vs. biryani debate...well if you like them both, then who cares! aik din pulao banao, doosray din biryani. no one is superior to the other. infact i think such a marriage would bring something even more interesting to the marriage and will keep things interesting. customs are a bit differnet even in the punjabi-exclusive marriages and they have to be dealt with. but to make this whole thing a huge massive issue is just absolutely ridiculous.
ma punjabi sista 
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
I don't think its an issue unless someone try to make an issue out of it. it USED to be an issue but not any more.
I am a urdu speaking and I was raised in a Punjabi speaking neighborhood. Almost 90% of my friends are punjabi speaking. Some of them married to Urdu speaking guys/gals and I can tell you from my first hand knowledge they never had these issue. Right there are different norms ..but those are not issue b/w couples.
There are bigger issues in world then Biryani vs Pulaoo and Lassi vs Milk shake.....
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
Yes punjabis are great. Omg I love punjabis
Thats very strange because i have seen that majority of Punjabis are lot more conservative than urdu speaking people, though , one can see all types in both communities. Is there any reason you have only met the aunties that don't have sharam? May be its not a Punjabi trait but the type of people you attarct or hang out with.
I attract? lol My family is more conservative, and we know them because so and so went to uni with my mom or dad, so we end up meeting them at dawats etc. But I just thought it was the group I saw that were like this, but then when punjabi girls themselves who attend the real punjabi parties, started saying all this stuff, I was like hmm okay I guess thats just how they are, or the ones in my area atleast. I've also met punjabi conservative families as well, but very few.
ok here's the deal. this is the way i see it, as an insider. i'm a punjabi. and i will admit, that punjabis and the language, if you're an outsider, you will not get it. to you it will seem crass and rude and so uncivilized. but the culture itself is more to it. we are frank, we are loud and we have no reservations. we will meet you and treat you like you're another member of the family. to some it might seem besharam or whatever. but that's how it is. we aren't going to necessarily do the aap and tashreef. we will say tuwadda and jee ayan nu. now that does not mean that the urdu speaking people are just aloof and so cold. they will get comfortable with you as well, but not necessarily right away. and i can say all of this because my closest friends are urdu speaking, and i have seen how both of these families work.
problems will arise if you let them arise in such a marriage. the whole pulao vs. biryani debate...well if you like them both, then who cares! aik din pulao banao, doosray din biryani. no one is superior to the other. infact i think such a marriage would bring something even more interesting to the marriage and will keep things interesting. customs are a bit differnet even in the punjabi-exclusive marriages and they have to be dealt with. but to make this whole thing a huge massive issue is just absolutely ridiculous.
totally agree ... i have tons of punjabi frnds ... and i see that they are more open and up front about it .. but that hasn't caused many probs between us
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
I agree with Khumar...
There is a cultural difference but not enough to create actual cause for problems in a marriage.
My sister's inlaws are Punjabi and they get along just fine. My mom gets along with my sister's MIL more then my own in fact because there is no formality there...they are frank and open about their feelings...my mom appreciates that.
Yes, when our families first met it was different for us to get used to their way and vice versa but it all worked out so well. We have one BIL from Hyderabad, India. We have two from Karachi and one from Lahore...they get along great when we're all together because we want to make things work.
If you want to talk about differences even between neighbors living in the same city and speaking the same language, Im sure you will succeed. But if you want to make a relationship work, you will find a way to make those differences work for you rather then against you.
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
I have seen or I know a lot of couples in the same situation and I did not see any problems other than the fact that some parents do not initially accept it, for example my cousin (Phuppos Son) married a punjabi girl from Faisalabad and my phuppo initially was against it but then because Bhai was a good son she gave into to his wish and to be honest today I see them really happy and no real complications other than the fact that bhai makes fun of bhaabis urdu as there are some words pronounced differently and bhaabi makes fun of bhai`s punjabi, So in other words other than the accent there is nothing different and i dont think there should ever be any compatibility issues.
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
Palou Vs. Biryani is a huge huge huge thing in my family. I love biryani. I want it at least once a week. My in laws can't stand biryani and keeps telling me how bad it is to eat biryani and its okay to eat desi ghei ka palau.. with extra butter in it..
lol
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
I love punjabi's. So much so that* I married one. Anyways 12 yrs later, we are still happy. It doesnt matter if your punjabi, pathan or hindustani, we are all Pakistani. I think all those small things about food you can always compromise. One day a punjabi feast the next one a hindustani. I think in a marriage two minds must think alike. Most of the problems in a marriage is because there is a lack of compromise from both parties. We are all muslims and we should appreciate our differences, we have one Ummah and inshallah Allah will help us look past such minor differences.*
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
My husband is a quarter punjabi and his grandmother is the sweetest woman I know. I honestly didn't know because she never speaks it or has any kind of accent.. but contrary to the stereotypes that fly around about punjabi women, she's nothing like it. My mom's bestest friend who also happens to be my MOST favorite aunty is punjabi, and I love her and my uncle to death. They are the most funnest people to be around, they are loud, fun, so warm and welcoming, and totally blunt. Most of the people I know, including my best friends, are punjabi. Infact there was a time when I knew of noone except punjabis. My parents closest friends/family friends are punjabis, and even though my dad isn't one, he and all my uncles speak it fluently because most of their friends are punjabi. My chachi is punjabi as well, my dad's family has no reservations marrying outside of biharis but sadly, my mom's family is VERY conservative and will never even consider a punjabi's rishta.
So yeah, damn we know alot of punjabis.
I don't think being punjabi or sindhi or bihari or memon or whatever shapes your personality or makes you who you are, it just brings some culture and norms to your lifestyle, and there's nothing wrong with that. We all come from different backgrounds and it no way makes us any superior than anyone else. At the end of the day, everyone needs to be judged on how they are as human beings, not what caste/province/whatever they belong to. Look beyond the punjabiness =)
Re: Problems & Difference faced by Punjabi/Urdu Speaking Couples?
Well I know back home some urdu speaking people dont do it because they consider them selves a very small minority (7%) of pakistan and they think if they married into punjabis (62%) of pakistan , their identity and unique culture might be lost or completely wiped out.But people are more open in the western societies!