problems after my engagement.

[Cupcake]

@automne77

crazyfool,

reading your story it made me think that ur story has a lot of similarity with mine. My inlaws and family have different culture too. And during my initial days of marriage and even during rishta process and after nikah … I used to get frustrated coz my family would point things out to me and most of them were differences in lifestyle… They liked the guy and family but our lifestyles being different was the issue they had… My advice to you would be

** Take your inlaws as they are, right now ur family has expectations and those are not being met. You need to sit down with them and explain to them your inlaws behavior. You now have to act as the bridge and make sure that no ghalat fehmi is there.

**Some ppl like casual dropping in while others like to be invited and like guests to come over when they are invited… so another difference you can explain to your parents.

**Talk to your mom and try to make her see that her insecurity might be keeping her from seeing the good in your inlaws.

This is my personal opinion but I do feel that inlaws should keep a lil distance with each other… over meeting each other can be bad… especially if there is a lifestyle difference. They say familiarity breeds contempt. If ur inlaws and family were not friends…then chances are they will be nice to each other but not become best friends… No big deal…
Also it doesn’t matter if ur MIL is not calling on eid or something… some ppl are like that… it doesn’t mean anything… as long as when they meet ur parents and are respectful of each other that is all good..

Good luck …and focus on ur fiance and how ur inlaws treat you. Because once married when ur family sees ur smiling they will be at ease.

100% AGREE WITH THIS! Sound advice! Well done for the positivity!

LOL i cannot actually believe you people! YOUR PREDICTING HOW A GIRL’S MARRIAGE IS GOING TO TURN OUT JUST BECAUSE THE FAMILIES DON’T SOCIALLY INTERACT AS MUCH!??!?! WHO MADE YOU LOT THE QUEENS OF THE WORLD?!?!

I’m sorry for the capital letters but most these opinions actually disgust me!!

TO THE ORIGIANAL POSTER:

Just because your family and your in-laws family don’t interact much doesn’t mean that they don’t like each other! If they didn’t like each other they would have said no to each other simple as that!

The reason they probably don’t interact is because maybe they’re not as sociable/maybe they’re shy with each other families/maybe they’re not familiar with each other.

Some people are more sociable than other people, this is why your sister’s in-laws are more friendlier.

You in-laws don’t have a problem with you as far as i can see from your post..i mean she brings your gifts and treats you just like her own daughters? What more can you ask for in a MIL!?

You said yourself that your families meet 9/10 times in a year..if you think about it how much do you meet families? 9/10 times is frequent meeting..once a month roughly! Families are busy..they can’t see each other every week just coz families are getting married?

They have their own lives etc A day goes so fast sometimes you look at the clock and think is that really the time?

Just because you didn’t have an engagement party doesn’t mean anything..maybe their families don’t have engagement parties..there are so many reasons so you shouldn’t take it personnal!

I think it’s a bit rude of you to ask for your IL’s to change their socialising habits just because you want them to socialise a bit more? Maybe they’re not socialising people? Maybe they just like to keep themselves to themselves especially if what your fiancee says that they’re like that?

OVERALL:

• don’t take it personally about both your families socialising habits!
  -your families aren’t marrying each other, if you are happy with your IL’s and theyre happy with you that’s all that matters!
  -if your parents are that worried, they would talk to your future family!

Just be happy and really just get along with your IL’s, because they’re going to be your family soon.

I can totally relate to your situation because that’s exactly what situation i’m in but i’m not worried one little bit because i know how happy my mum is with him and i know how happy his mum is with me. Alhumdulillah. Both families aren’t very sociable but that’s because that’s how they are. They don’t spend hours on the phone, we see them at each otheres house now and then but we’re happy. I’m also 20 and would be getting married but have decided to finish degree! There’s no perfect or wrong age to get married..If you think your ready that’s all that matters bub!

Sorry if my opinion offends anyone!