Re: Problematic?
wait wait wait
you are making a HUGE assumption and basing your explanation on it
firstly you have assumed it is behaviour
from the sound of it the guy seems pretty reasonable and he is not in any sense whatsoever a ego-driven guy as we have seen in other cases. so i suggest clarifcation on this with her first
^If you don’t put a stop to this behavior of his now…you’re letting him develop a habit. Ask him if he would like it if YOU talked bad about his dad to his face? And then ask him that if he were to get angry…then would he be “biased”? Remind him that most people, in general, do not like hearing others insult their parents to their face. It’s human nature…and that two people can also choose to communicate concerns in a more decent way…and keep the name-calling/condescension out of the discussion. One always has control over their word-choice. Tell him that you acknowledge that your dad’s behavior was not the greatest and you’re open to discussing solutions respecfully. If one person can’t manage to be respectful and the other does the same thing behind their back…how is one better than the other.
As for your dad…have a talk with him and tell him that you understand and appreciate that he wants you to have a happy marriage and that’s why he’s asking questions and doing his research…but request that he do it in a more nicer way…because that makes the person answering the questions feel more at ease…whereas if you offend the person…then that can lead to them giving answers in a defensive way…which leads to greater room for misunderstandings and negative speculation…and just breaks the whole communication process down.