I think what you're feeling is pretty normal- i can't stand anything used, hate commuting and i don't think ANYONE wants to live in a ghetto or slum. It's easy to say you'll sacrifice good food, but i think most people who upgrade to a better house don't really downgrade anything. And you said you'll downgrade food but at the same time you hate chores and if you downgrade eating out, you'll increase home cooking. The thing is you will HAVE to make sacrifices and compromise, because at the end, you WILL get through it, and if you cooperate- it makes the journey that much more smooth and stress free.
Actually I think it's more just #2.Hosting a successful dinner is a LOT of hard work and extremely tiring- guests should be sensitive to that and volunteer a hand, regardless of how they are like at home. Wouldn't you just love it if after hosting, 3 helpers reduced your chores by 1/2? Also, if you don't mind working at a job, why are chores so much worse?
I agree, I had a very privileged upbringing, I never even had an allowance - i just pulled money out of dad's wallet and called out "i'm taking XX out". Even now i go home and my dad gives me $ just so i don't have to make a trip to the bank, and my mom gives me $ to keep on hand "just in case". However, I always helped my mom out around the house, and she never asked us to do anything. There is no way in the US that a desi household can avoid chores unless they have a live in maid. If the son/daughter never do chores, it's because the mom worked like a horse and made sure her kids lived comfortably. I personally cannot live with the guilt of my mom working away FOR ME while I sit in front of the TV. My sister is the youngest too, and she's like minimum 5 years younger than everyone, but she still helps out. Even though in the end the work will get done (if one of us decides not to help), in our conscience we feel we should have helped, and I guess that's what is really important - valuing someone's efforts. Why don;t you just do it before they ask?
I see your point about helping out.
myabe b/c I have not yet ever hosted a dinner or invited anyone over for that matter, that I choose nto to help. Or maybe at the time it was more of a situational thing and has nothing to do wiht values etc. But good point about helping out
Otherwise , u know what, let me scratch what I said in my last post, because I"m making it sound like I'm the crazy one and everyone else is a farishta--when I know deep down thats not true at alll.