Princess

Monk · October 7, 2009, 2:44am

see zobia.. my yaqeen extremely strong.

as a matter of fact I have see next stage of yaqee..
I alway see ppl believing in magic buttons(wazifas) and ignoring most obvious. hence screwing up their lives.

If 100 ppl perform a wazifa once, one will get what he desires that is just odds.
But 100 ppl havening right form of yaqeen, 99 will get where they want to be.
Did God not say "you get what you strive for" ?

ok get this.. our bodies/brains are such a miracle..but how many of us appreciate it??? not many..

Just like that on rational level islam is no less then a miracle, but not many appreciate it.

Praying on regular bases keep us grounded and focused and calm at same time.
If we achieve that focus and calmness for whole life.... its no less then miracle..

when we see a praying person achieving his goal.. its because prayer helped him developing right kind of personality.

I guess to see impact of prayer and eeman.. you need to study freaks and drug addicts etc etc

Monk · October 7, 2009, 2:46am

Re: Princess

Sorry sara, your thread is hijacked:omg:

BTW I have a princess and few princes in my own family… I don’t appreciate their spoiled side.. I have stories to tell.. I will post tomorrow..

for now I can say… never take any thing for granted… cuz our princess(sis) and princes(bro) alway did.

zobia · October 7, 2009, 2:55am

Monk:

see zobia.. my yaqeen extremely strong. as a matter of fact I have see next stage of yaqee.. I alway see ppl believing in magic buttons(wazifas) and ignoring most obvious. hence screwing up their lives.

If 100 ppl perform a wazifa once, one will get what he desires that is just odds. But 100 ppl havening right form of yaqeen, 99 will get where they want to be. Did God not say "you get what you strive for" ?

ok get this.. our bodies/brains are such a miracle..but how many of us appreciate it??? not many..

Just like that on rational level islam is no less then a miracle, but not many appreciate it.

Praying on regular bases keep us grounded and focused and calm at same time. If we achieve that focus and calmness for whole life.... its no less then miracle..

when we see a praying person achieving his goal.. its because prayer helped him developing right kind of personality.

I guess to see impact of prayer and eeman.. you need to study freaks and drug addicts etc etc

pm, i am sure u do know what tasbih is :)
its the same thing as u will hear everyday in the birds chirps.

i mentioned earlier Hashmat that ppl have made Islam far more complexed but it doesnt me that since it so complex that u completely abandon it. ALLAH SWT also give u heart and brain.
now it is up to you to seek rationality. but then u will only see what u want to see.

the tasbih i mentioned is only dealing with "ALLAH SWT is great" indeed He is great. he made me and you. and by His willing i can achieve all my unfinished actions.

so dont bombard everything that talks about Islam. it is always good to read and see its meaning and then make the final call of abondanoning it.

ps. i know many daroods that are full of shirk. but it doens't mean that i wont gonna recite Daroor-e-Ibrahimi.

sadzzz · October 7, 2009, 3:00am

Re: Princess

^ but how is this related to Sara's question?

diwana · October 7, 2009, 3:03am

Sara516:

OK I'll be honest, being the only girl and the youngest by 6 years, I was pretty spoiled by my parents. Never did chores, got plenty of pocket $ etc. Never had my allowance taken away. Mashallah my parents are awesome.

Now see.... here's my thing

I don't want to live in a ghetto or slum. If that means having less $ for groceries or shopping, I'll sacrifice.

I hate when someone tells me to do chores. Esp when I go to someones house and someone nudges me to go help them clean or whatever. I hardly do work at home, why would I work at someone else's house ? This is why i would never survive in a joint family b/c I cant stand having someone tell me to do something.

I think I hate working. Well not the work itself but getting up, commuting etc.

I LOATHE the idea of secondhand furniture. In most of my adult life, most of my furniture has been handed down from my brother--dont get me wrong, he has great taste and buys good quality stuff thats good for years to come. But i'm at a point that I want brand new stuff. Like an adult. Could be ikea, i dont care, just not secondhand. Even if someone were to offer me a few furniture things, i'd turn it down just b/c i dont want it. Meh. maybe its selfish and materialistic but since everyone considers me that way..might as wlell live up to that label right?

Actually, its point 2 and 4 that really make me wonder if I am just being and suffering from the princess syndrome?

Good that you are being honest.

Point number 1. That is understandable. Who would argue with that?

Number 2 definitely smells of being not polite, and princess syndrome, may be.

Number 3. Many desi and non-desi women suffer from it regardless how they were brought up. Some don't even want to learn how to drive for the same reason. Not so good women.

Number 4. I also never bought any used furniture but I think there is nothing wrong in taking used furniture except if it is a couch or mattress. I don't want to use ultraviolet light to find out what had happened there before. Ewww! :-)

zobia · October 7, 2009, 3:06am

Re: Princess

sadzzz, everything is connected, it depends where u seeing it from.

okie okie no more falsafa
sadzzz, welcome to GS. you will learn many dimension in a single go. connect the dot, and find your destiny.

btw this process is called Baat say baat nikalana.

lol…let me leave the thread before sara kick me out

Monk · October 7, 2009, 3:11am

thats exactly why I stopped talking.

Sara516 · October 7, 2009, 3:12am

1–eh had an argument with someone about it. apparently i am demanding nad materialistic b/c i’m being extremely picky about where to live. But they don’t really matter so i dont know why i let it get to me.

2–itsnot just not helping out, its being asked to do ANY CHORE by anyone, whether at home or when I lived with my in laws. I do it , but theN I get extremely angry and its happened so many times that i’m starting to think…hey maybe its just me!

4–good point. LOL!

sadzzz · October 7, 2009, 3:20am

Re: Princess

zobia, ive acually been on the site for about 4 years now.... but thanks for the welcome :)

sadzzz · October 7, 2009, 3:23am

meh, dont take it personally. I get told im materialistic now and then just cus i want something new… it all depends on timing. Sometimes, what you say in an awesome idea… but when they are tired and stressed and not in the mood, ur materialistic and demanding. We might be… might not be seeing things from their point of view… cus we’re just too hyped up with the idea we can get something new… oh well.. at least u know whats right, thats the main thing

i dont think anyone likes being told what to do. But that again, depends on the mood. If im busy with a sick child or am unwell and someone asks me to do something, i might get peeved… any other given day or time, id be cool… but here is where other people need to be a lil considerate too of u and ur feelings. Some people dont necessarily think about such things.

snazzy · October 7, 2009, 3:27am

I think what you're feeling is pretty normal- i can't stand anything used, hate commuting and i don't think ANYONE wants to live in a ghetto or slum. It's easy to say you'll sacrifice good food, but i think most people who upgrade to a better house don't really downgrade anything. And you said you'll downgrade food but at the same time you hate chores and if you downgrade eating out, you'll increase home cooking. The thing is you will HAVE to make sacrifices and compromise, because at the end, you WILL get through it, and if you cooperate- it makes the journey that much more smooth and stress free.

Actually I think it's more just #2.Hosting a successful dinner is a LOT of hard work and extremely tiring- guests should be sensitive to that and volunteer a hand, regardless of how they are like at home. Wouldn't you just love it if after hosting, 3 helpers reduced your chores by 1/2? Also, if you don't mind working at a job, why are chores so much worse?

I agree, I had a very privileged upbringing, I never even had an allowance - i just pulled money out of dad's wallet and called out "i'm taking XX out". Even now i go home and my dad gives me $ just so i don't have to make a trip to the bank, and my mom gives me $ to keep on hand "just in case". However, I always helped my mom out around the house, and she never asked us to do anything. There is no way in the US that a desi household can avoid chores unless they have a live in maid. If the son/daughter never do chores, it's because the mom worked like a horse and made sure her kids lived comfortably. I personally cannot live with the guilt of my mom working away FOR ME while I sit in front of the TV. My sister is the youngest too, and she's like minimum 5 years younger than everyone, but she still helps out. Even though in the end the work will get done (if one of us decides not to help), in our conscience we feel we should have helped, and I guess that's what is really important - valuing someone's efforts. Why don;t you just do it before they ask?

Sara516 · October 7, 2009, 4:31am

snazzy:

I think what you're feeling is pretty normal- i can't stand anything used, hate commuting and i don't think ANYONE wants to live in a ghetto or slum. It's easy to say you'll sacrifice good food, but i think most people who upgrade to a better house don't really downgrade anything. And you said you'll downgrade food but at the same time you hate chores and if you downgrade eating out, you'll increase home cooking. The thing is you will HAVE to make sacrifices and compromise, because at the end, you WILL get through it, and if you cooperate- it makes the journey that much more smooth and stress free.

Actually I think it's more just #2.Hosting a successful dinner is a LOT of hard work and extremely tiring- guests should be sensitive to that and volunteer a hand, regardless of how they are like at home. Wouldn't you just love it if after hosting, 3 helpers reduced your chores by 1/2? Also, if you don't mind working at a job, why are chores so much worse?

I agree, I had a very privileged upbringing, I never even had an allowance - i just pulled money out of dad's wallet and called out "i'm taking XX out". Even now i go home and my dad gives me $ just so i don't have to make a trip to the bank, and my mom gives me $ to keep on hand "just in case". However, I always helped my mom out around the house, and she never asked us to do anything. There is no way in the US that a desi household can avoid chores unless they have a live in maid. If the son/daughter never do chores, it's because the mom worked like a horse and made sure her kids lived comfortably. I personally cannot live with the guilt of my mom working away FOR ME while I sit in front of the TV. My sister is the youngest too, and she's like minimum 5 years younger than everyone, but she still helps out. Even though in the end the work will get done (if one of us decides not to help), in our conscience we feel we should have helped, and I guess that's what is really important - valuing someone's efforts. Why don;t you just do it before they ask?

I see your point about helping out.

myabe b/c I have not yet ever hosted a dinner or invited anyone over for that matter, that I choose nto to help. Or maybe at the time it was more of a situational thing and has nothing to do wiht values etc. But good point about helping out

Otherwise , u know what, let me scratch what I said in my last post, because I"m making it sound like I'm the crazy one and everyone else is a farishta--when I know deep down thats not true at alll.

clothesmad · October 7, 2009, 4:42am

Hi Sara,

not too different from you, however i did the housework cause my siblings were all younger than me, but was spoilt by my mum when it came to clothes, jewellery, money.

When i got married, i really struggled to come to terms with the fact that i now have to "save" and go without, and "compromise" on the type of furniture we were buying, he thought Ikea was the place to be, i was like "thats for students" at the same time i became realistic too, knowing actually if i buy this then we cannot pay that bill

Its taken years for me to come down to earth, but it has made me sensible, i do wish my parents had taught me a little more on money managment, but your style and preference never diminshes you just learn to "compromise" (begrudgingly)

sadzzz · October 7, 2009, 4:46am

Re: Princess

^ totally makes sense. I was in the same boat

snazzy · October 7, 2009, 4:49am

oh haha sorry i didn't mean it like that, but you take the criticism with grace. You sound perceptive and caring, especially since you are receptive to people's comments. and i'm sure you;re not the spoiled or too "princessy" type- because a spoiled person is oblivious or too arrogant to even think along these lines like Niksik said. I just get really annoyed with this one girl I constantly have to deal with who proudly says "Oh I never do anything" and I was just venting. Not doing chores isn't a sign of being more "western" or affluence (in america) as she believes.