I’ve only been married for a couple of months, and my husband and i had decided even before we got married that we wanted to wait a few years before starting to think about having kinds, we’re both still pretty young, (i’m 20 and he’s 23). But lately we’ve both been noticing that our families won’t let the subject go. not our parents or close family members, but people that we hardly even know. Like for example we went to a wedding on the weekend and this aunty kept asking me if i was pregnant yet. Just the way she kept talking about it made me feel like a failure for not having been knocked up on my wedding night. I’m i the only one going through this ?
Re: Pressure to have kids.
proposals.. wedding.. divorce..husband.. kids waghaira waghaira are the favorite subjects of our women kind; deal with it.
if you would have told her that you are pregnant then the next thing she would have been asking you 'how is your saas/naand' behavior with you. so you are not the only one who is going through this, we all have gone through this (or surely, will be going through this) and once we will become aunties, we will be asking the same kinda questions from the next generation. :)
Re: Pressure to have kids.
eek i hope i never become that kind of aunty...i'm gonna be one of the cool ones :)
Re: Pressure to have kids.
Ramsha jee. i think you should change your decision(not having kids for a few years) Why you don't want to have kids in your young age, becoz You are too young ? it doesn't sound's good to me. Having kids in your early ages helps you alot. I have seen people around me who were got young & they got kids now they are helping their parents. As far as the aunties are concern, No one can stop them.... They have nothing else to do. Just want to degrade the peopls always look how they can make the people confuse. so take it easy WISH YOU BEST OF LUCK
Re: Pressure to have kids.
its not that i don't want kids cause i'm young, but mostly because i'm still in school, and my husband just graduated this year, and we both really don't feel comfortable bringing a kid into this world when we don't really have have financial security.
Re: Pressure to have kids.
WHy should she change her decision? She and her husband have made the decision and who is anyone else to urge them to change their minds? Whateve r reasons she has for not wanting to have kids, they're her reasons, so who are you to make her change them? :)
Re: Pressure to have kids.
Sare jee i was just suggesting them, i didn't know that they are still in school.
let them do whatever best for them :D
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aww thanks sara, i'm not going to change my mind about having kids, i mean if it hapens then mashallah i'll still be really happy about it, but it just bothers me that its ok it our culture to ask people incredibly personal questions, and then expect a response.
Re: Pressure to have kids.
^ no don’t be i didn’t mean you, i meant the aunty 
Re: Pressure to have kids.
Ohhhh, OKkkkkkkk 
Re: Pressure to have kids.
very legitimate reasons. so the thing is, you know your conditions/priorities so stick to it and let the people talk about whatever they want too. either you need to keep ignoring it OR start talking back to them. people won't change, you got to change yourself and set yourself to react accordingly.
Re: Pressure to have kids.
i try, the other day i was trying to explain to a friend of my mom that i wasnt pregnant yet because we wanted to save enough for a house and stuff before having kids, and she didn’t get it, she kept saying ‘’ baysharam larki apne husband se asi koi bathey nahi karna chaiye" 
Re: Pressure to have kids.
You can't talk about NOT having kids with your husband ??? WTF?! I hope she was joking :(
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nope, she’s an older woman and she was completly serious, she told me that i shouldn’t be taking to my husband about sex, and kids, and that kids just come when they do, we shouldn’t plan on having or not having them.
Re: Pressure to have kids.
Agree Sara,
ignoring them is the best way i guess :)
Re: Pressure to have kids.
she must be joking .....Sara you are right :)
Re: Pressure to have kids.
Let them know this is my personal matter, I know what is best for me… You shouldnot take part in our personal matters
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^ No she was absolutely serious :(
Re: Pressure to have kids.
^ yup she was absolutely serious, i didn't know whether to be appalled or laugh, but to be fair i don't think that the majority of aunties think like that.