I got married when I was 21 and now its been 3 years since being married. My in-laws are pressuring us to have kids like no other. I absolutely love kids but I want to wait at least 2 more years before having kids. Also, Im not ready right now to become a mom, I feel like I got married young, and want to enjoy my life a bit more before becoming a mother, and me and my husband have such a great time, going out enjoying our lives with nothing to worry about.
My mother in law starting last years has been pressuring me soo much to have kids. Im not the kind of person that talks back so I just listen to what she says but it has gotten soo annoying. She plays the “victim” game and talks about how she might die soon and she wants to see her grand children, she tells us that our life has no purpose if we don’t have kids. And lastly, we should have kids so they don’t get bored. (yeah okay im gonna have a kid just so you can have fun with it)
It was fine in the beginning because my husband used to speak out for me and talk to them. We even agreed that we will wait another 2 years once were stable. However now, since my husband is a mumma’s boy, she brainwashed him that now he is pressuring me to have kids too. I wouldn’t have cared if only he was on my side as well..
I want to finish up my masters at least, I know that its hard to finish school once I have a child, however my in-laws tell me that they will raise the child so I can finish school. They even offered to give us money to raise a child… Its like they have an answer for everything!
Now that his parents understand that he wants to have kids too, I feel like I’m the “bad guy” here, and this pressure is making me feel like “Im useless as a daughter in law” unless I have a child…And I really don’t think they care that I do feel like that…Is having a child my only purpose of being married???
So your husband and you enjoy life with nothing to worry about huh?
I’m going to copy/paste here parts from a thread you started 2 months ago. Did you already resolve all those issues? Do you respect your husband? How is your self-esteem right now? You do realize pregnancy/child birth will take a toll on your body and will it even harder for you to look anything close to women in those porn movies right? You already know having a child will make it harder for you to get divorced. Is your husband now the type of man who you’re comfortable with being the father for your children? Maybe your husband suddenly wants you to have a baby so you’ll be too busy to nag him about his porn habit…what then?
Maybe your husband suddenly wants you to have a baby so you'll be too busy to nag him about his porn habit....what then?
LOL, a life-long expensive responsibility for a few minutes of solo pleasure? Do guys even go or think that far or think that much? Doesn't seem like it. Raising a kid would require more of his attention and get in the way of his porn pastime.
LOL, a life-long expensive responsibility for a few minutes of solo pleasure? Do guys even go or think that far or think that much? Doesn't seem like it. Raising a kid would require more of his attention and get in the way of his porn pastime.
In all fairness.....those few minutes do start to add up after a while..... ;)
Plenty of men and women choose to have a baby for stupid reasons. Many people have a baby without thinking through the entire situation....they only stay focused on the current issue. If OP is having a fight with her husband every 2 weeks about his porn habit.....I don't think its unreasonable to think that HE thinks a baby will keep HER too busy/tired for her to nag/spy on him.
Besides, according to OP, his parents have already offered to raise the baby and even pay for it so it's not like the husband feels he has to contribute much for a new member in the family. His parents have told pretty much told him that his "lifestyle" won't change b/c they'll take care of the baby in every way.
however my in-laws tell me that they will raise the child so I can finish school. They even offered to give us money to raise a child... Its like they have an answer for everything!
You saying in this thread**
"and me and my husband have such a great time, going out enjoying our lives with nothing to worry about."
whereas in your another thread you mentioned this:
"I can't go out anywhere with him even to Walmart, without seeing him check out some average looking girl. This and the fact that I caught him watching porn caused my relationship to have numerous fights where I would cry sooo much, and told him I hated him and I don't want to be with him. However its been 3 years into our marriage and he still continues doing it. "
**Now if you say that whenever you go out even to a grocery, ur husband start staring at girls and you hate then, then how come you now saying that you enjoy going out with him and you dont have a thing to worry????!!!
another contradiction:
you saying now:
"I absolutely love kids but I want to wait at least 2 more years before having kids. Also, Im not ready right now to become a mom, I feel like I got married young, and want to enjoy my life a bit more before becoming a mother"
**"I want to finish up my masters at least, I know that its hard to finish school once I have a child,"
**
and in earlier thread you stated:
"I don't daydream of myself having children with him (don't have children yet) because I don't see him as the type to be the "ideal father" for my kids."
**so what is the underlying fact of not wanting to have kids right now? from ur current post it looks like you dont want to have kids because you want to enjoy ur life fully with ur husband without any added responsibility of raising kids, and that you want to first finish up your education but in earlier thread you put it on ur husband behavior that you don't want to have kids with this man.
So OP what the real scene is? looks like the lack of truth in your both threads.
Drama Queen might have chosen the wrong nick to post...
Excellent memory everybody !!!
I never realized that this place can be so cruel.
That said, the OP has raised a situation that anybody can be in. I think we should look at the situation and comment on it rather than the poster.
I would suggest that it is time to have a long discussion with the hubby regarding priorities and then decide. Endlessly delaying a pregnancy can also be very counter-productive :) If for some reason the girl is not able to immediately conceive once protection is stopped, treatments can take a long time and be very harrowing.
cmon cmon i need some drama… 