how do you prepare yourself for the fact that a loved one will die, that your mother, father, brother, sister, best friend, husband, wife, even child , may not be alive?
i had a particularly not-so-nice dream about my mom last night so I’ve been kinda depressed/high strung all day…everytime i have a bad dream it just keeps running through my mind and until a few days pass..
but i’m home now and i saw my mom and i’m fine now…but it’s just scary ..something cud happen to my mom or to my dad, and i cna’t do anything to change it…
i feel so lucky sometimes that I don’t have such hardships…that the things I stress over and get upset about are nothing compared to the things ill face in the future…
you cry you fret you scream you wanna shoot yourself so you dont have to see them deteriorate before your eyes, when yousee their pain you try and block it out so you can make it easier for them. After all this you get used to it, **** happens and so forth.
And I know what you mean, this is not meant to be a rude post its just how I see it. :) inshallah nothing will happen to ur mum.
consider it a wakeup call to start being nicer to ur ammi tell her how you love her and i dunno spend time with her… maybe the dream was just Allah Mians way of saying “go spend time with ur mum.. she needs you”
you cant stop death… but u can make most of the life u have :k:
I think i have been making an effort this year to be good, but yea ur rite i cud do better..u can always do better…i haven’t had a serious fight with my parents in ages…my dad’s been in pak for a long time now, and ironically that’s been the wakeup call i needed, not his heart attack..go figure
^ sometimes its the smaller things that make the different and show us the light.. big things do shock us and remind us that God still has the power.. but yeah they dont always make us become better..
fights are normal.. i still argue with mum about things.. i guess, hmm if u try to spend more time with her.. gettign to know what she likes.. taking her shopping… that makes a difference i know with my mum, if we’ve gone and spent all my money, thats a big connection..
My dad and I burried my grand father when I was 6.
I burried my father when I was 7 yrs old.
I burried my mother when I was 29 yrs old.
.
.
in between I burried my grand mothers
I burried my grand father last sunday.
Death.. in-evitable but drains you emotionally. In my case became part of life (which in an absurd way is)
One part of you wants to cry with the family the other part tells you not to rather be the consoling figure, be strong, show resolve.
I mourned my loved ones alone.
Edit: got carried away so deleted my comments
first of all sara...a personal advice...when u see a bad dream, just ask forgiveness from Almighty Allah, coz its a Hadith. Bad dreams are from satan, & good 1nz are from Allah. Da 2nd aspect is that u shud not talk about bad dreams, but u shud tell every1 about good dreamz...!
alright 2nd answer...
death lives with every1, u just have to learn to cope with it. Let me find u da surah, which makes u stronger by reading it, & then I'll complete this answer.
well, what exactly woudl you call a “good” dream?
coz in a way, a gud dream is even worse coz then it’s only a dream, and it won’t come true…and sometimes my “good” dreams, i can’t share with teh whole world you kno?
Sara, If you see someone dying that's not a bad dream. I know it seems to be one but the indication it gives is totally opposite to that. If you see someone dying, that means they'll either get better (if they're sick) or they'll have a long life to live. I've seen a couple of people dying in my dreams.
getting prepared means u r seeking for some alternatives to compensate ya the prejudice u suffered after the death of ur luvd one........i bet u cant do that.....i burried ma father when i was 16 and now after a decade i still feel some thing izz missing in ma life..coz i didnt find ne alternative of ma father to compensate his absence.....death izz a reality u'll have to accept it wid all its brutality ...u cant b prepared for it! abt dreams ..this dream may b a intimidation i agree wid sadzzz...but accept it k every one izz living to die .....every one izz waiting for his/her time ! thiz might help .....
The only person that I burried with my own hands was my friend who died of blood cancer a few months agp (in july). We weren't that close, but good friends. I gave bath to his dead body, kafan dafan, then janaza, then took his body to the graveyard and burried him 6 feet under, ofcourse with the help of other people. I was sad for a few days but life goes on.
p.s. I opened a thread a while back on how I was having nightmares after his burial. Emotionally, I am a very strong person and I don't cry no matter how big the incident is, but I was having nightmares after his death.
feeling like so is natural, it's something i don't think u can prepare for, for one we don't have ilm-e-ghaib and secondly death doesn't come before knocking on ur door... dealing with the fact that one day ur mother,bro,sis etc will die is something that won't be easy to take, especially when u care so much about someone as close to u like ur mam for instance the fact that they'll suddenly leave u is hard for anyone to take i guess in maj' of the cases it is.
for me my beloved ammi hazoor and bro and sis r my only family and i'd like tot hink imlive for them and not for something i expect in the forseeable mustakbil, if they pass away before me i'll die with them, don't think i'll be able to cope without them :(
re bad dreams, well for 1 shaitaanbrings bad khiyalat to your mind and he tries to influence the way we think, all of u have to do is have firm belief in allah and keep fighting ur nafs', phir shaitaan kya his nani won't be able to harm u.
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*Originally posted by Sara516: *
but it's just scary ..something cud happen to my mom or to my dad, and i cna't do anything to change it...
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well, something can happen to you also......and you cannot do anything to change it either....there is nothing wrong in keep reminding yourself that the next night u may spend in a dark grave instead of your bedroom...
well, something can happen to you also......and you cannot do anything to change it either....there is nothing wrong in keep reminding yourself that the next night u may spend in a dark grave instead of your bedroom...
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well i'm not really afraid of my own death...at least the physical part anyway. but i know my parents wud feel the same way that I would
Its indeed very scary if u dream that ur loved one
will die or something. I dreamed once that myHubby died
That was very scary i wake up and i stared to cry when i saw
my hubby was fine. Last night i dreamed that someone killed me.
But the strange thing is when i sleep alone i always have nightmare's
And if my hubby is with me then not.
tell her how you love her and i dunno spend time with her… maybe the dream was just Allah Mians way of saying “go spend time with ur mum.. she needs you”
