will you agree to a prenup or would you expect your spouse to agree to it? I recently found out about a family friend of ours whos having a really hard time finding a desi wife because he wants his future wife to agree to a prenup as the guy makes close to a million and cannot find a wife only because of this issue! now is this trend getting common with the desis or totally unheard of? my husband never mentioned prenup and if he did, I don’t know how I would feel about it to be honest. how many of you would have no problem signing that kind of agreement before marriage?
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I'd sign it. At least it takes some risk out of the whole thing.
Prenuptial agreement
I won't. It kinda makes me uncomfortable to do because I think it creates a doubt whether the marriage will succeed or not and may prevent a person from putting 100% into marriage.
I know not everyone thinks like that but I like to start something new without any doubts. If it goes south, then oh well.
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I dont think I would agree to it.But I can see how it can also be a good thing and protect your assets in case your marriage doesn't end well.
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It would make me uncomfortable but depending on how sensitively and maturely the subject is approached, I'll bite the bullet and sign it - of course assuming there are no other problems.
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prenups are necessary nowadays. Obviously it depends on what the prenup says but just in case the whole marriage blows up in one person's face, there is comfort in the fact that the couple went into it in a practical way. Marriage is a practical thing that gives people the pleasures of life that might not be possible if they were single(or they shouldn't indulge in it when they are single).
I think it's just so if something horrible happens, one spouse breaks down doors, nothing's right in the marriage, one spouse has affairs and can't control themselves, pushes the other into the ground...... then one spouse shouldn't get everything the other spouse had. Not everybody's going to be rational and say "half the marital assets" they might just take everything, the house, the 401k, everything in all the bank accounts and leave the other spouse with nothing. I think it's a very smart thing to do because marriage is a gamble and just to keep people honest and make sure that they aren't just marrying for the money or the mansion.
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I may not sign it. It makes me uncomfortable and sorta reflects on how the other person is thinking about me. It has its plus/minus but I wouldn't really know how I would react unless I'm actually in that situation.
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I won't. It kinda makes me uncomfortable to do because I think it creates a doubt whether the marriage will succeed or not and may prevent a person from putting 100% into marriage.
I know not everyone thinks like that but I like to start something new without any doubts. If it goes south, then oh well.
Same here. They're kinda insulting. It's like expecting the marriage to be doomed before it's even begun, and you're assuming your partner will take you to the cleaners...which I know that some would do that....but it's uncomfortable to think that your spouse has an ill opinion/expectation of you or eyes you with suspicion. I can see how they are a protective measure but at the same time they don't feel entirely good or right not even in today's troubled society.
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I wonder what the guys think about this issue.
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I’d rather do things Islamically. If the pre-nup is not Islamic then it’s pointless to me. 
Most guys are generally quite possessive of their possessions and would prefer wife gets 0.5 percent of their income for monthly use and that too only on necessary things. New clothes and vegetables are frivolous and unnecessary so I can see becoming a thing.
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Marriage is a contract. No point getting all emotional about it. It should include all the conditions that both parties would agree on. Better safe then sorry.
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I would sign it. Prenup doesn't necessarily mean you walk out empty handed. You can agree to come a fair settlement in case things don't work out.
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I would sign it. I always plan for the worst in pretty much most things I do, I don't see it as going in with a negative mind frame, but there are no guarantees in this world so I think its practical to always be prepared.
Prenuptial agreement
I don't have any issues with prenuptial agreements. I would have signed one if asked, as long as it was fair and made sense. Plus, in an Islamic nikkah a woman will have her haq mehr as her gift of security...if the guy is a millionaire, he should maybe plan for a haq mehr up front to pacify any negative feelings towards a prenup that his would be wife might have.
After my mom passed away and I had the daunting task of dealing with probate, settling her Estate and a step father in a community property state, my eyes were wide opened, and my opinion has greatly changed on this issue. You never know what life is going to throw at you and how circumstances might change. I don't see a prenup as a negative anymore.
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I would sign one, and see no issue in asking for one. The idea that marriage is this unbreakable bond is very Christian and frankly, kind of silly. Islamic marriages are contracts, which have prenup-like clauses in them (like haq mehr). If men and women are both capable of working these days, then there is no reason either partner should be entitled to half of what the other one has earned, especially if it's a significant amount.
As for "dooming the marriage", do you have life insurance? Are you planning on dying early and leaving your family with nothing? Of course not, it's called a backup plan.
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I think it is a wise decision for a guy to insist on a prenup if he's already making close to $1 Mil before marriage. If a prenup is done properly, BOTH sides should be represented by their own attorneys who can advise them of their legal rights and make sure the prenup is fair for BOTH parties. In fact, in many states, when a couple is getting divorced, if the Judge thinks the prenup is not fair then he can throw it out. So the idea of the prenup is not to leave the poor party with no money/assets at all. The only thing you cannot put in a prenup are decisions regarding children such as custody.
People need to get over this Bollywood idea of marriage is forever, their spouse is the sweetest man/woman ever etc. Reality is a brutal thing. Frankly in my opinion, given all the nasty divorces I've seen and how much pain/drama is involved in it....not to mention how much money is paid to attorneys when divorces go on for years......it's outright stupid for anyone who already makes a decent amount of money not to insist on a prenup. We see nothing wrong with getting health insurance, life insurance, a living will to disperse our assets after we die etc. Prenup is no different. A back-up plan never hurts. Marriage requires many compromises and discussion that are unpleasant. If two people can't discuss and agree on a pre-nup before marriage....when things are good and everyone is on their best behavior....then what hell is going to break lose IF they get divorced and must agree on asset divisions after bitterness/anger/hurt feelings are involved?
Since we have a separate thread going on about 2nd marriage....I wanted to add that for anyone who is divorced and has children, prenups really are a MUST if you want to guarantee that your children will get certain property, savings/retirements $ etc. in case something happens to you.
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Never thought of that. But some wise people r making a compelling case for it.
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I don't think it's a bad idea and I wouldn't have minded signing one..
My mum wants my brother to get a pre-nup for his second marriage..
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Isnt nikah nama itself a contract where you can add the clauses you want? Is it not enforceable in the western courts?
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Well based on what I understand, according to a pre-nup, whatever wealth a couple makes during their marriage is split in half but whatever you made prior to your marriage is still yours, so personally I intend to make a ****ton of money before marriage and then retire early; I wouldn't make any money nor buy any property after marriage, so I wouldn't lose anything, the gold digger could screw herself.