Potential Rishta

Lifestyle Relationships
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21

Re: Potential Rishta

Girl A is already planning the wedding AND you've been talking longer, so decide if you really see her as a good match. You've only known Girl B for two weeks. She might be captivating right now, but you still have a way to go to deciding if she's a practical match. Don't let it turn into a messy love triangle.

22

Re: Potential Rishta

I have to say it's best to wait. You'll go for the pretty girl now and then bug her for the rest of her life trying to make her into your mother which is pretty bog standard of desi guys no matter how westernised they are. Don't fall into that hum tv husband stereotype and wait. The fact that you've been talking to desi girl and aren't feeling anything either is also telling. The more you know her the more you're meh doesn't bode well for the future either. So just.. Wait. And please don't get the desi girl's hopes up.

23

Re: Potential Rishta

Ask westi girl if she is willing to desify herself a little bit.
Ask desi girl if she is willing to westify herself a little bit.

Whoever agrees is your girl.

24

Re: Potential Rishta

And you seem too dismissive to be able to categorize someone as immature based on reading a paragraph on the internet. You shouldn't generalize so quickly. I created this thread so I can get some feedback, not to be scolded. I've never once said either girl is ugly, I said both are amazing in their own right. I am just having a difficult time making a decision. Marriage is a huge decision, you can't just sit one day and say ok i'll go with this person. That's why I'm reaching out to people to figure something out.

No where am I being shallow, I'm not saying either girl is better than the other. I am just describing their qualities. If you're too blinded by your feminist fury to see that than I'm sorry. You don't have to post on this thread.

25

Re: Potential Rishta

I dont want either girl to change their qualities. They're fine in their own respective ways. I just want to know which one I should choose. The Desi girl (Girl B) has already concocted rishta fantasies in her head while I never said anything about it. She has assumed that we'll get married since we've been talking for a while. I haven't 100% given her an answer. I'm just afraid that I'd come across as too strong if I tell her off.

26

Re: Potential Rishta

OP, have you met PCG yet? You’ll forget all other girls after that. She speaks German btw :chai:

27

Re: Potential Rishta

You need biryani and desi food... Girl B is the answer.

28

Re: Potential Rishta

I think you should go for the western girl just make sure she understands your expectations after marriage. She can't feed you berries and yogurt for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I was pretty westernized before I got married. Now, I am pretty desi-fied and make kicka$$ desi food. I knew nothing about desi cooking before. People change as long as you can gauge how good their heart is. You seem more compatible with her so I feel you'd be happier with her. If she seems unwilling to compromise, then you know she isn't right for you..

To the rest of you, get off OP's back..her thread main shuru hojate hain.

29

Re: Potential Rishta

that's so weird. how does being western mean she's not caring or nuturing?

you can always learn desi cooking but you can't uncling clingy.

30

Re: Potential Rishta

Thank you! Finally and honest answer. Where are all the English speaking desified girls? Theorist gave an honest answer. This is what I'm looking for.

31

Re: Potential Rishta

People can changed over time

Desi girl could become westi girl and vice versa

Which one you are comfortable with or which one you yourself more are, desi/western?

I dont think you would have gone to see the second girl if you were settled with the 1st one

32

Re: Potential Rishta

You will get what you want if you're clear with what you want and convey that properly. You have to tell western girl about your expectations and be prepared for a no. There are plenty of westernized guys out there who might suit her much better. Don't just surprise her with your demands on her after marriage because that'll be friction lala land for both of you.

33

Re: Potential Rishta

1 year is quite a long time for you not to have made up your decision with Desi girl. If you are not into her, then just tell her (in fact you should've told her a while ago). You dont want to come across as a jerk, but thats exactly what she will think of you if you reject her after year and a half of decision-making.
Figure out what you can and cant live without. Make a chart if you must. Keep in mind that there are NO perfect matches in marriage. You've got to learn to compromise. Wish you all the best.

34

Re: Potential Rishta

Dude. Flexibility and compromise is a worthy trait. This test will give you answer about that. Who ever wins - you marry her;

35

Re: Potential Rishta

Okay well you can't keep talking to 2 girls forever you know...sooner or later you will have to make a choice.

What should that choice be?

Easy...the best one for YOU.

Being desi is not a bad thing and having thoughts about shaadi isn't bad either. Sometimes though, having a very narrow view of the world may be a bad thing for people who have a broader set of experiences.

I'd go for the person that makes me happy...if you're happy...the people around you are automatically happy. Who do you feel like you have more of a connection with? Meaning, if you were left alone on an island and had to choose who you'd be spending the next 50 years of your life with on this island...who would it be?

Good luck.

36

Re: Potential Rishta

Have you ever told the Desi girl that, "Listen..you're already planning a wedding and at this time I haven't made a committment. I think we're in two different places. I'm just trying to get to know you and I don't want you to get hurt if it doesn't culminate in a proposal fron my end." Have you said that to her...at all? Cuz it would have stopped her from spinning fantasies. The more we prolong things, the greater the chances for one party to feel misled, or to get hurt, and for other wrongs to take place that should be steered clear from.

I kinda feel like telling you to move on from both of them. Let both of those girls find men that wil accept them completely for who they are and aren't.

37

Re: Potential Rishta

What a lovely thread. Made my morning

38

Re: Potential Rishta

Well girl A has always been interesting to me since she speaks the language that I speak. So it's easier to converse with her. Easier to share ideas with her. But she being a western girl, open minded is a bit snobbish. She is extremely ambitious, to the point that it's as if there is nothing more important to her than the relentless pursuit of substance. I feel as if after marriage she'll continue this ambitious aura of hers and perhaps my love may not mean much to her. However, I cannot blame her for this fancy of hers. She's a human being and as such has expectations from this world. Sometimes we talk and I feel as if all she has to talk about is "My masters degree this, my future PHD that, my business this, my goals that". I understand education is a huge part of life but we sort of never ever talk about ourselves. At this point I want to make a correction. The Girl A the western girl. I've actually known her for more than couple of weeks. I dont know why i wrote 2 weeks. More like couple of months.

Now the desi girl, is very interesting. She speaks her mind, talks about our future and has never once mentioned anything which would state that we would be more important than anything to her after shaadi. She has her goals as well, she's studying and going for her masters. But she's never rubbed it in my face about it. I think in her mind, her shaadi life is of the utmost value to her. Which is admirable. However it is difficult to speak with her because she ALWAYS types in urdu. It's such an effort to read it as i'm not very good with it. Somtimes she'll use these Mirza ghalib words which I'd have to google before I can concoct a reply. And I can never ever express myself fully to her. Because I dont really know what and how to say it in urdu. Girl A the western girl, we laugh and joke because we have a common sense of humor. With desi girl I've probably laughed twice and that too forcibly. I AM SO CONFUSED!!!!!

39

Re: Potential Rishta

#Shaadiproblems](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=Shaadiproblems)

40

Re: Potential Rishta

damnn son! swinging two chicks! I ain't got none, send some my way!