I am talking to two girls and they both could be potential Risthas. One is slightly westernized (does yoga, eats strawberries for breakfast) the whole shebang. The other is homely and very desified. Now I’ve grown up in a place where I had a mixture of both east and west. But I tend to follow somewhat western culture. Like I speak French with my friends and fell kind of weird speaking urdu. But I do speak it with my family at home.
When my parents introduced me to the western girl, I liked her from the beginning. She was basically a female version of me. Did all the things I’m in to and has an open mind when it comes to things we discuss. But my thing is, she’s definitely not like what you would call a “Pakistani” girl. She’s outgoing, spontaneous and basically cannot make any pakistani dish. Hates spicy food, eats avocados and like to post a bazillion pictures on facebook.
Now my idea of a wife had always been someone who’s like my mom. Caring, nurturing and someone who can make epic biryani. I know the 2nd girl who grew up in south africa then moved to pakistan then came back to south africa has a lot of desi morals. But upon speaking with her, she came off as extermely desi. Like she watches HUMTV dramas and talks about our “Nikkah” all the time. It kind of freaks me out a bit. I know you can be up front about shaadi but to be this frank is a bit disturbing. Like the other day we were talking about shaadi she goes “Hum dono white kapre pehne gey nikkah pey” and i’m was thinking “I haven’t even thought of it yet”.
Both these girls are amazing. One is a bit westernized, the other a bit desified. Both are very good looking, educated and are overall good girls. I’m so confused as to which one to choose. I am torn between my decision. The first girl is my dad’s choice the 2nd is my mom. Both keep pestering me in to making a decision. What should I do?
My only concern is that in spite of you haven't made a decision yet and the fact that you are actually in touch with two girls to figure things out, what lead the eastern girl to even come to the point that she started discussing what you two should be wearing on the wedding day?
Desi or non desi, it takes a whole lot of belief for a girl to come to that level. Basically, she is sure that she is it. If you lead her to that point, then it is an odd behavior on your part.
This situation has a very simple solution. You tell your parents and BOTH these girls are not "the one" because neither of them are compatible with you. Tell them exactly what you wrote here and ask them to find a girl who has more east/west balance.
Well I am not leading any girl. The second lets refer to her as Girl B who's from Pakistan and is a bit desi, and I were talking since last year and we both contemplated shaadi but nothing was solid set in stone. Then my dad and his friend set up another ristha with me and my dad took me to see the western girl (Girl A). I don't know why I went? I should have said no. But my dad persuaded me and took me. So naturally i'm like "Stuck" because now I talk with both girls. The Girl B i've only started talking for past 2 weeks. But she's really beautiful. Girl A has a bit of a lets say "Physical issue". She has a sort of issue when she speaks. She kinds of stutters when she speaks. Other than that there is no issue with her. I just can't seem to make a decision.
A: Western, stuttering issues, spontaneous, yoga and berry girl
B: Desified, white nikkah kapray, homely South African
You've been speaking to the one from Pakistan longer yet referred her to the 2nd one. You already made your choice for the "first" one who is really the second one.
Well I am not leading any girl. The second lets refer to her as Girl B who's from Pakistan and is a bit desi, **and I were talking since last year and we both contemplated shaadi **but nothing was solid set in stone. Then my dad and his friend set up another ristha with me and my dad took me to see the western girl (Girl A). I don't know why I went? I should have said no. But my dad persuaded me and took me. So naturally i'm like "Stuck" because now I talk with both girls. The Girl B i've only started talking for past 2 weeks. But she's really beautiful. Girl A has a bit of a lets say "Physical issue". She has a sort of issue when she speaks. She kinds of stutters when she speaks. Other than that there is no issue with her. I just can't seem to make a decision.
A: Western, stuttering issues, spontaneous, yoga and berry girl
B: Desified, white nikkah kapray, homely South African
You've been speaking to the one from Pakistan longer yet referred her to the 2nd one. You already made your choice for the "first" one who is really the second one.
A: Western, stuttering issues, spontaneous, yoga and berry girl
B: Desified, white nikkah kapray, homely South African
You've been speaking to the one from Pakistan longer yet referred her to the 2nd one. You already made your choice for the "first" one who is really the second one.
Correction. The western girl has no flaw other than her being too "Gorified" a typical starbucks girl. The desi girl has a stuttering issue. But that's not a factor for me to reject her. But I'm just so confused as to which one to choose.
You are talking to that desi girll since last year with the intention of getting married & she knows that too hence planning her wedding joras with you.
Just so you know these are girls you are talking to who have feelings, emotions & such creatures do get emotionally attached over the period of time.
Izit? Man, am I some kind of monster? What should I do? The desi girl is fine and all but the western girl is in her glory very beautiful. And I’m so captivated by it. That’s why I’m talking to her. Man this is going to be a tough decision.
My only concern is that in spite of you haven't made a decision yet and the fact that you are actually in touch with two girls to figure things out, what lead the eastern girl to even come to the point that she started discussing what you two should be wearing on the wedding day?
Desi or non desi, it takes a whole lot of belief for a girl to come to that level. Basically, she is sure that she is it. If you lead her to that point, then it is an odd behavior on your part.
It was her being comfortable in talking to me for couple of months. So she grew comfortable and i didn't stop her talking about rishta and stuff because I didn't want to come off as a jerk.
You seem too immature to be getting married. Especially if you're actually comparing super beautiful vs. everything else you apparently want for a decision that will impact the rest of your life. If I was either one of those girls, I would not want to marry you, and would be royally pissed in the case if Girl B, that my time had been wasted by an indecisive and shallow man.
FYI, being "desi" does not mean one is backwards. I watch Game of Thrones and desi dramas. Depending on who I'm with, I can be categorized as very desi or very western. It's all about perspective.
