Potential Rishta

[winterfireflies]

Re: Potential Rishta

@PapuChiri2020

Well girl A has always been interesting to me since she speaks the language that I speak. So it’s easier to converse with her. Easier to share ideas with her. But she being a western girl, open minded is a bit snobbish. She is extremely ambitious, to the point that it’s as if there is nothing more important to her than the relentless pursuit of substance. I feel as if after marriage she’ll continue this ambitious aura of hers and perhaps my love may not mean much to her. However, I cannot blame her for this fancy of hers. She’s a human being and as such has expectations from this world. Sometimes we talk and I feel as if all she has to talk about is “My masters degree this, my future PHD that, my business this, my goals that”. I understand education is a huge part of life but we sort of never ever talk about ourselves. At this point I want to make a correction. The Girl A the western girl. I’ve actually known her for more than couple of weeks. I dont know why i wrote 2 weeks. More like couple of months.

Now the desi girl, is very interesting. She speaks her mind, talks about our future and has never once mentioned anything which would state that we would be more important than anything to her after shaadi. She has her goals as well, she’s studying and going for her masters. But she’s never rubbed it in my face about it. I think in her mind, her shaadi life is of the utmost value to her. Which is admirable. However it is difficult to speak with her because she ALWAYS types in urdu. It’s such an effort to read it as i’m not very good with it. Somtimes she’ll use these Mirza ghalib words which I’d have to google before I can concoct a reply. And I can never ever express myself fully to her. Because I dont really know what and how to say it in urdu. Girl A the western girl, we laugh and joke because we have a common sense of humor. With desi girl I’ve probably laughed twice and that too forcibly. I AM SO CONFUSED!!!

Lol. Seems like a problem I have, except with guys.

I agree with most people in this thread. Both girls don’t seem to be the one for you. Don’t pressurize yourself into choosing the wrong one because you feel like you HAVE to decide right now. Why do you feel like you have to pick one of them?

Re earlier post you got touchy about… Kind of proving the point again. You don’t really like Girl A but are attracted to her beauty (and now sense of humor). Yet you lead Girl B on, because she has the ideal homemaker qualities. Honestly if it’s been this long that you’ve been talking to her, even her family probably thinks you guys are unofficially a done deal. People don’t just talk/date for this long through the rishta process. If it’s happening, they expect it to lead something. You should at least cut it off with one of them asap. Probably Girl B. Girl A is more western. Girl B and family are probably starting to turn away rishtas from others. You could be jeopardizing her future. Also why I said in my post that I, or any other girl in her place, would be really pissed. I’m not saying you’re a bad guy, but you’ve led her on, and need to clearly communicate with her. I mean, she WAS your primary choice before Girl A came into the picture. You owe her a a decent explanation and can’t keep talking to her. Even if for any reason you picked her, you’d keep remembering your time with Girl A, and that’s not going to be good for anyone.