would you get rid of ur opposite-gender friends after u get married? Is it considered childish behavior that one has to let go of after growing up (i.e. getting married)? if u keep those frends around..how much u let them in to ur life after the wedding? when the spouse is OK w/ it…does anybody esle really have a right to say anything?
Re: Post-marriage..
would you get rid of ur opposite-gender friends after u get married? Is it considered childish behavior that one has to let go of after growing up (i.e. getting married)? if u keep those frends around..how much u let them in to ur life after the wedding? when the spouse is OK w/ it...does anybody esle really have a right to say anything?
I don't have opposite gender friends. The females in my life are in my family and work colleagues. In terms of work colleagues, the level of professionalism is maintained.
I don't know the women's perspective but from the guys side of things 9 out of 10 times guys who want to be "friends" actually want something else: whether it be a relationship, bf/gf or worse. For that 1 out of 10 time, the guy is homosexual/asexual/in a relationship.
Sorry, but thats it.
Re: Post-marriage..
I don't have opposite gender friends. The females in my life are in my family and work colleagues. In terms of work colleagues, the level of professionalism is maintained.
I don't know the women's perspective but from the guys side of things 9 out of 10 times guys who want to be "friends" actually want something else: whether it be a relationship, bf/gf or worse. For that 1 out of 10 time, the guy is homosexual/asexual/in a relationship.
Sorry, but thats it.
Colleagues/classmates are exempt from this example. In such a case, only an insecure idiot would be worried abt colleagues. Thanks for the insight.
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Well, it depends how much anyone's respective "belief" allows him, and how sincerely one wants to follow it. IF the situation is such that a person has to temporarily go against his beliefs but his intentions are good (helping the needy), then it is fine.
Re: Post-marriage..
If you need to be getting rid of them, you probably shouldn't have them in the first place.
Re: Post-marriage..
would you get rid of ur opposite-gender friends after u get married? Is it considered childish behavior that one has to let go of after growing up (i.e. getting married)? if u keep those frends around..how much u let them in to ur life after the wedding? when the spouse is OK w/ it...does anybody esle really have a right to say anything?
no, it isn't childish, its Islamic.
There is no concept in Islam for guys to be just "friends" with a girl, and vice versa.
So one should get rid of their "opposite gender" friends for the sake of pleasing Allah SWT, and not for any other reason.
I agree with what STP said, however, helping the needy isn't really developing a friendship with them... :)
Wassalam
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Oh and please no holier-than-thou Islamic lectures, peace!!
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^ok, but u shud have made that clear in your first post, peace to you too :)
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just in case the marriage doesnt work i would keep 2-4 hot ones. so i have an exit plan.
Re: Post-marriage..
no, it isn't childish, its Islamic.
There is no concept in Islam for guys to be just "friends" with a girl, and vice versa.
So one should get rid of their "opposite gender" friends for the sake of pleasing Allah SWT, and not for any other reason.
I agree with what STP said, however, helping the needy isn't really developing a friendship with them... :)
Wassalam
Sorry didn't see your post til now. To NOT have friends of the opposite gender to begin with is not childish, i can understand that someone wants to follow their religion and not do that....but what I meant was, having friends before..but not after the marriage, is it considered childish in the sense that it's "okay" before marriage, but not "after"? Like... ppl will attribute their wrong actions to "oh i was just a stupid kid".. does that make sense?
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^ well since u asked :) its unislamic both pre and post marriage.
but 4 those who dont want to take an islamic look on things, then i guess insecurity would be the main reason.... my guess, could be wrong.
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in an ideal situation if one has nothing to hide then introducing one's opposite gender friends to the spouse will be a good thing to do.
it enables the new couple to know how responsible they are with a situation in which they have opposite gendered friends.
in the context of professional colleague ship and /or personal friendship (with marked due limits) as two human beings, opposite gender friendship should be no different than friends who are the same gendered as oneself.
after marriage, i presume, this has more to do with giving time to one's spouse vs any friends.
obviously, what one decides for oneself will hold for the spouse all the same.
hope is that no one ever gets suspicious and the friends are also responsible and respect the privacy of the new couple.
best,
Dushwari
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You must be kidding.
Why did you even start a thread like this? To justify something that is shady under most circumstances?
If you exempt classmates/colleagues, what kind of friends are we talking here?
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It all depends on u basically, if u have no doubts then i guess there is no problems until ur spouse does then u might have to re think. As far as islamically goes well u shouldnt have a guy friend in the right place but i wont say that as to be honest aadmee ko bolney sey pehlay apney giraybaan mein jhaank lena chahiye. So in short shouldnt be a problem as long as ur spouse is fine and u trust the friend that there r no other intentions.
One more thing is our close relative aur unn key jaanney waaley well thats kinda tricky cuz urtay urtay ur parents or in laws will find out bout that and in that scenario u r gonna be looking forward for a MELO DRAMA but that i cant comment on. :k:
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It is not a good practice to post such a threads during Ramdan .....
Please let it close ....
Thank you,
Re: Post-marriage..
It is not a good practice to post such a threads during Ramdan .....
Please let it close ....
Thank you,
wat? r u kidding me?
all i would say is grow up.
Re: Post-marriage..
It is not a good practice to post such a threads during Ramdan .....
Please let it close ....
Thank you,
and after Ramadhan?
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and after Ramadhan?
After Ramdan ? Lolz good ?, I dont think so that it is a decent thing to discussing.
and also it is not applicable in most of the areas in muslim regions. so very less people can participate in it from our community .....
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I mean if that boy is just a friend just like any other female is a friend of her's, then it shouldn't be a problem? Why suddenly after marriage is it a problem? Unless of course the hubby has problems.
In my case I had a lot of guy friends, I was more of a tom boy anyways in college. Anyways once I got nikkahed, I wasn't the one that dropped my friends...but strangely, quite a few of my guy friends either withdrew friendship or minimized it. A few of them might have had other intentions, but really I think they just respect the fact that your married now and have to devout more time to your marriage and family now. And Mashallah se, a really good frind of mine from college, we are still in touch and Hubby has become friends with him as well. He is also married, so I get along with his wife as well...so that turned out really well. I mean to me he is like my brother...even though Islamically it may not be justified, but I do believe its in the intentions.
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i hardly have any male friends....may be one or two from uni...which sumtimes i talk on msn n thats it....
but even if i did have sum male frends i would definatly try and not interact with them as much as i used to before marriage....