It is not a good practice to post such a threads during Ramdan .....
Please let it close ....
Thank you,
I think this is exactly the attitude pomegranate juice is talking about. If it is bad in ramadan would it be okay afterwards, and if you have friends before you got married if t okay to ahve them after!!
I have MALE friends, we grew up together, went to school together, have history, it would eb a shame to lose them after I got married. My hubby is not insecure like that. i had an open option, I cud've married anyone of them if I thought "that way" about any of them.
Instead I married him!! he understand that and knows that we are just friends !!
My husband if okay with it and I don't think anybody ELSE (family, aunties, uncles, eithr his side or mine) have a right to say somethign about it. It is a personal matter between my husband and I as to who we should see!!
Two of my male friends got married and I attended their wedding with my hubby. We are now friends with both COUPLES!!
I see no harm.....
I try to keep these matters away from religion, I am the same person is ramadan that I am before or after ramadan. I do pray and fast but it's still me!!
Allahn mian kay saath doghlapan nahin karni chahiyeye!! Allah knows everything, so even if I'll pretend to be a more pious person in ramadan, HE knows who I really am and what my intentions are!!!
And Mashallah se, a really good frind of mine from college, we are still in touch and Hubby has become friends with him as well. He is also married, so I get along with his wife as well...so that turned out really well. I mean to me he is like my brother...even though Islamically it may not be justified, but I do believe its in the intentions.
Don't want to pick on you Afro-Sheen but I don't buy in to this behen bhai thing. This is genuine affection between two people, may be not love as in love or anything sexual but some love and affection, and should be acknowledged as such.
I don't believe in keeping male friends, and neither does he believe in keeping female friends. I just don't understand how can anybody let his/her spouse be close friends with opposite gender. It's all weird unless all of you, your spouse and both of your friends, have been friends since pre-school or something.
would you get rid of ur opposite-gender friends after u get married? Is it considered childish behavior that one has to let go of after growing up (i.e. getting married)? if u keep those frends around..how much u let them in to ur life after the wedding? when the spouse is OK w/ it...does anybody esle really have a right to say anything?
I would keep them around. If there was a reason to think hat one was becoming too close or that there would be misunderstandings, maybe back off, but I don't think it should be a problem. As long is one is respectful of the other relationships.
I don't think i could, but if it didnn't sit comfortably with my other half... i'd more likely see' em less, certainly not end our friendship altogether.
i always thought that having male friends after the marriage should not be a prob.. my husband has No problems either.. and i also made a concious choice to limit my friendships to these guys.. but u kno what heres the prob.. he is allowing me to talk to ma previous male friends( that he knows too).. but then one day he finds this fone number of one of HIS previous Gal friends.. and now it should be ok for him to talk to her too.. rite?? but i cant take it.. scares me to death to think how relationships change now adays.. so if u wana keep ur gal friends/guy friends after u get married.. just step back a second and think if its gona be ok if ur spouse did that.. and do remember when he/she does.. they are not gona go by ur rules.. u cant be like. Oh i only talk to my friends on Msn .. so He should only talk on msn too.. ur spouse mite decide to give her a call.. Every day.. or even have her over when hes bored.. coz he can use the same line as.. " Sirf Dost hai yaar" " Kia hogaya hai".. Tumhare bhi to dost hai... THEN WHAT?!!!?
^ Then it's kinda being a hypocrite isn't it? If your husband trusts you enough that you know ur limits and boundaries will be set and not crossed, then you owe him that much in return.. if u can't stand him being w/ his friends, then why wud u think its OK to keep ur friends?
i dun mind opp-gender frnds but my guy is not comfortable with it i have them at a space cuz at times they might be a cause of problem u never know ...he dusnt mind my r.ship with my colleagues but haan this is a fact that guys dont mind their female frnds huh!!
no i didnt say it was ok.. i said thats what i started off with. but i realized later that i wasnt okay with Him having opp gender friends.. i am just saying that if u wana kno if its ok for u to keep opp gender friends.. make sure u are gona be ok with ur spouse doing the same
Don't want to pick on you Afro-Sheen but I don't buy in to this behen bhai thing. This is genuine affection between two people, may be not love as in love or anything sexual but some love and affection, and should be acknowledged as such.
Question. Your best friend, male friend whatever. Obviously you two get along well, you love him like a brother, have lots to talk about, been thru a lot together, get along, etc. There is some sort of love, but doesn't mean more than that. You don't become friends with someone you despise or hate etc. I did mention in my post that im not talking from an Islamic point of view. Again its all in your intentions. And he is very very respectful towards me & always has been. Even my family knows him and I know his family. Alhumdulillah I got married to a wonderful husband, and my husband understands me and trusts me. And we now hang out together, couples. I mean my husband has his friend and we all hang out together with their wives...so whats the big difference.
Question. Your best friend, male friend whatever. Obviously you two get along well, you love him like a brother, have lots to talk about, been thru a lot together, get along, etc. There is some sort of love, but doesn't mean more than that. You don't become friends with someone you despise or hate etc. I did mention in my post that im not talking from an Islamic point of view. Again its all in your intentions. And he is very very respectful towards me & always has been. Even my family knows him and I know his family. Alhumdulillah I got married to a wonderful husband, and my husband understands me and trusts me. And we now hang out together, couples. I mean my husband has his friend and we all hang out together with their wives...so whats the big difference.
I didn't mean to question your personal preferences Afro-Sheen. It just seems odd to me that we find it necessary to label this particular friendship with a particular relationship.
I think it's childish and at some level it is the average desi's third class mentality that leads to these things. Just because you have friends of the opposite gender doesn't mean that you are screwing them. You CAN be friends with the opposite sex and have no romantic feelings toward them. I know I have friends that are women and we are best of friends and completely platonic (mostly cuz they're uggo's, NO NO, I'M KIDDING).