Re: Post marriage independence, privacy or abandoning your parents?
ditto to what djmi said. Jaanwar not sure why it is stuck in your head that living seperately means "abandoning" the parents. From what I have read on these posts, it seems as if you are living "away" from your parents for whatever reasons..work/school whatever. But you are away right! Just like that other people have reasons. It is not always sensible to have everyone under one roof, better relationships are maintained from a distance. Also I disagree with this comment:
And those who think if they took care of their husband's parents would become their servants, your thought process needs serious repairs.
I am sure this thought process is based on experience or experience of others. I myself have seen that MIL does everything on her own and her son dearest doesn't do a darn thing. Then she gets her son married, and suddenly expects the DIL to take care of most household chores if not all. Not only that but some MIL provide constant criticism and no appreciation, and even if something is slightly off, always talk badly about DIL to their sons....etc. So it's best to avoid such a situation. And even in families where MIL have best of intentions, living together can create many misunderstandings where the hubby is then stuck in the middle. Why wait to have relations tarnished & THEN move out. It's best to live seperately in the beginning but STILL take care of the parents...etc.
Unless of course the son can afford to have 2 seperate accomodations, or even seperate space for his wife/kid's privacy. And YES the wife has a right to her own space. A good friend of mine is married to a physician, he CAN afford to move out etc, but didnt want to leave his parents (even though he has 2 brothers still living at home. It is such a privacy issue for her, esp as she is a hijabi, so really it's her in hijab 16-18 hours of the day. How is that fair to her? A man must be able to sensibly balance his duties towards his parents and duties towards wife and understand how to take care of each.