Alright this is going to be a long one.
This one concept/thought bugs me big time. I have seen so many advocates of post marriage independence, interestingly nearly all of them being women, who believe and preach that a couple should move out of the man's parents house and live independently. The idea is that this gives the couple more independence and privacy, and the usual in-laws politics doesnt happen that way. Unluckily, I haven't come across very many women who believe that a couple should live with the man's parents, for a range of reasons that they come up with.
This concept bugs me too.
If you want to look after your parents, then make a separate portion in the house for them(sitting area, room, kitchen etc).
Why do you have to deny your wife her rights of a separate house?
If you are man enough to get married, then you should be man enough to buy a house which is your wifes islamic right, if you cant afford a house, then build a separate section, if you cant do that then make sure she has her privacy, this is not a feminist concept, it is basic islam.
You should know what your duties are before nikkah.
Look at sahabahs and the lives of the pious, have ever heard of them living in joint family systems?
They looked after their parents as well. But nowhere did they abuse their wives islamic right of her own house.
Other than that, i think marry someone who has no problems living with your parents.