Many girls here work. If not work, then at least go to college or have gone to college.
How has your experience been having to work or deal with desis or muslims in general (or anyone with a highly brown conservative mentality) males that are prohibited by their significant others to talk to other females. I mean, as you can imagine, for me its impossible to even have a remotely working relationship with these sorts. They wont talk - they’re too timid - they keep away, and then I find out its the female behind the scenes jumping on them for even so much as speaking to another girl. And somehow if its a desi girl, its even a bigger deal.
Now on a grand spectrum, how the HELL is a society of muslims supposed to thrive if most guys are too scared to be thrown in the doghouse every time they speak to a classmate or co-worker, etc? How can you even have ladies and gentlement working together on community issues if this is the trend?
Are Pakistani girls the core problem of so many of our problems?
I should also add the group of guys inhibited by their mommies to talk to females. Also guys inhibited by their local maulvi-wannabe that talking to girls is "haraam".
^ first of all, how can you be so sure it's the coworkers/classmate's wife/gf whos the reason behind his not wanting to talk to female coworkers or classmates? Maybe it's his own shortcoming?
Im all for keeping good work/college relationships, the person should be mature enough to keep it professional.
I do believe that there are girls (desi and non desi) who are extremely screwed up in the head who will forbid thier men from speaking to ANY female for whatever reason; however i can't believe it's THAT widespread as you're making it out to be... (if it is, then thats just sad
I would like to think that desi girls/women that are born, raised and/or educated here wouldnt have a problem with their husband/bf/son talking to another woman if it's within a professional setting. If they do then they are either insecure about themselves or they want to have control over their husband.
You know what spurred me to this issue though? Not just personal experiences, but I saw comments that suggest the "No girl better talk to my man" kind of mentality in another thread right now. That's why I'm guessing its more common than may appear.
How does facebook not apply? Many people use facebook semi-professionally. I know almost everyone in my class has a facebook, and its just a way to remind your classmates "I have a life, its okay, I'm just like you". Stupid I know, but its the only reason I have a facebook.
The basis of having a muslim ummah that WORKS is for men and women to communicate. Its hard to do that, when people aren't willing to be remotely friendly to one another because of gender differences.
well listen, if you expect to live in this world, you have to be realistic. banning your partner from speaking to approx. 50% of this population is not realistic and pretty stupid. if a girl is so insecure that her partner speaking to another girl sends her off the edge, i'd say byyyyyeee. talk about a miserable life with someone like that. especially when you know that if you were with someone that insecure and jealous, i.e. the guy was a freak, you'd dump him and get a restraining order.
i have a lot more guy friends than i do girlfriends (growing up with three older brothers does that) and i only had a problem once, when one of my really close friends new g/f didn't want him to talk to me, but he was straight with her, and explained to her that i was his friend, like a sister, and though i could never replace her, she could also never replace me. Its just a different status of relationship. I think guys who go through something like this need to stand up for themsleves, and girls who act like this need tohave more self confidence,
I have a list of girls I DO NOT want him talking to even if they are dying and then everyone else i dont really care for and I think if you are working its necessary cuz i know when i was in school it was impossible to avoid talking to guys.
PCG, I think that heart of the issue is that a lot of desi men are still just insecure little boys. Many of them need to step up and act like men. If a wife/mother/mullah tells them that they better not talk to any women, they need to step up and make it known that just because they talk to a woman doesn't mean that they are having sex with them. Our people, be it wives or mothers or mullahs, need to get their minds out of the gutter and understand that men and women can work together in a professional environment and GASP!! STILL KEEP THEIR CLOTHES ON!
i had issues with him talking to his exes but then i was like, wtf. he's marrying me. he wants to have a life with me. and kids with me. and a future with me. (MA). not with her. so it doesnt matter now.
I feel rather offended when you (PCG) label people who are trying to maintain modesty as maulvi's. There are plenty of educated muslim men that try to keep in bounds when interacting with females.
I see the frustration when its excessive, but I can understand why paki women might be possessive. Since there is nothing controlling the men with their desires, women feel they need to take charge before men start having relationships outside.
Personally, I have seen couples where the husband was unfaithful. It is definitely understandable why the women may want to keep tight grips on their men. However, no matter how much a women might want to control the men...they can only do so much.
i had issues with him talking to his exes but then i was like, wtf. he's marrying me. he wants to have a life with me. and kids with me. and a future with me. (MA). not with her. so it doesnt matter now.
and I suppose you are not yet married to him right now. wait until you get married and start having family with him.
I dont have guy friends myself......and dont talk to guys if I dont need to.....if i need to, then i do and its no big deal....but i wouldnt sit down with a guy to have a long discussion about a stupid issue that doesnt even needs to be discussed...
what i hate the most is when so called religious girls dont talk to bearded guys and act all shy....but when they are around non -bearded or non muslim men.....they FLIRT more than anyone ive ever seen.....theres a so-called friend of mine who does this and acts all religious when shes with "religious" ppl and is all decent with so called religious guys... too and it just makes me sick seeing her flirt with so many guys in my class....in fact it makes her look cheap in my eyes.....if she talked to my husband like that....I wouldnt like it....it doesnt matter whether shes having a "professional discussion" or not....if shes flirting or trying to make him interested in her then i wouldnt like it....and sadly alot of girls do this...
The basis of having a muslim ummah that WORKS is for men and women to communicate. Its hard to do that, when people aren't willing to be remotely friendly to one another because of gender differences.
No offence meant but PCG, why are u killing urself in love of Ummah?
