Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

Society Religion & Philosophy
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Asalam every1

I know this is a pretty hush hush subject, but I think its real important for all muslims and non-muslims to be aware of this particular subject matter and that is constantly around us in fact. After listening to a islamic lecture where they discussed how much pornography is influencing muslim and non-muslim families i was pretty appauled and disturbed to know that pornography is becoming a norm in muslim/non-muslim families.
well apparently many men are doing this in their homes even muslim men, not only behind their wives back but clear in the open. This one girl i met at the lecture told me that her friend told her that her husband watches porn frequently (and he is a practising muslim), and i was pretty shocked…not only at the fact that he was doing it…but he was doing it openly and his wife was totally aware of it and competely fine with it and justifying it as “men need it” “and all men are just like that, so its okay for them to watch it”. I do have a problem with this and i think its disturbing to know that our brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers are watching this kind of stuff…to know that you as a woman are allowing your husband to watch another woma(e)n in the most provactive way its disgusting and completly ridiculous… i totally understand that porn is kind of unavoidable because its all over the place and internet but still, you have to be in gods presence at all times and turning to such things is just hideous.

Another thing discussed at the lecture was why so many ppl are turning to porn is because apparently couples that are not having a very intimate relationship are being recommended by marriage counsellors to watch pornography. And therefore it obviously influences the way couples are intimate with each other. and also they siad that it causes couples to turn to porn etc which is clearly prohibited in islam, just because they aren’t feeling that intimacy with their spouse.

I thought this was an important topic and i tried to make it as proper and appropriate as possible for everyone on this forum. Like to know your input and if anyone has a better understanidng and knowledge of what islam says about this it would be totally awesome.

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

Yes, porn is good for the body, mind and soul.

Not only does it give the wife/girlfriend a break, a man could have some time to himself and allow to indulge in his fantasy.

No, actually it produces certain thought process that are harmful to the society. It increases the sexual awareness of men by making them think of women as sex objects.

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

I don't disagree with you on what the ills of pornography are...but this sounds more like a private matter between a married couple than anything else. If the wife clearly has no problem with it, why should anybody else? In fact, she shouldn't even tell you anything about what her husband or her do. These things are a private matter between couples. The bigger cause for concern is the effect that the increasing presence of pornography in media and society will have on children.

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

Ok this was up there (thanks to Google Ads)

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

this is an interesting topic

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

Sara516 - thats actually a really interesting article:
"Porn gets you to think that sex is something you can have anytime, anywhere, with anyone, with no consequences."

and its soo true. Sara516 i wasnt saying that it was n e of my business...but i was just using that as an example. Im asking if u think watching porn is okay. I clearly dont think it is. It destroys the foundations of a relationship. And its filthy and disgusting. I just want to know why ppl resort to such things? its so cheap and filthy. and how the article clearly outlines hwo pornography jsut degrades women. I mean women in Islam are meant to be respected...not displayed as 'bunnies' or sex objects.
My reason for this thread was to show what Islam says about pornography. And how muslims particularly should not be supporting such a degrading corporation.

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

No i really don't think its Okay either, for the same reason as you did... but i still think that as long as 1 partner doesn't object to it, it's a private matter between couples, just like anything in their sex life. my concern is more with how it can have an effect on the children whether its being watched in thier home or if its very out there in society/media.

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

How can there be a islamic dispensation about it when there was no pornography in the 6th century?

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

^ The point is classification into recognizable terms from the Quranic point of view, and whether restriction is viable or not.

Hi-is anyone UK based?
Hi-is anyone UK based?
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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

meaning?

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

As far as porn goes, it is favored among men because of their way of approaching sexuality.

Men are different then women. Men get horny when enough testosterone is in their blood stream allowing the chemical reactions to tell the brain that "We are ready when you are". Meaning when a man sees a beautiful female walk by, and hes in his "ready" state, he gets an erection (automatic; like when you press the garage door opener button and door opens). Its hard for women to understand this because they have a spectrum of emotions and thoughts and calculations going through their minds, but men dont. Their sexuality is turned on like when you switch the light switch and the room is lighted. Or like when you turn the door knob, the door opens; or like when you press the door bell, it rings. Its almost involuntary and actually harder to control it then not control it.

Women's sexuality is triggered by emotions and lovey dovey feelings. Mens sexuality is triggered by breasts, butt, thighs, gorgeous smiles, and other things. That is why women are the ones who spend time grooming themselves and men are the ones who spend time buying flowers, candy, and taking girl out to dinner and movies (sacrificing for sake of girl makes girl appreciate man, enticing closer emotions between 2 people).

So when man puts on porn, he goes straight to what he wants without having to make reservations at a restaurant or smell and look tidy. Its simple visuals for men. Then they pull out their friend.

Its a simple deal really.

As far as it being wrong, well many things are wrong. Not praying 5X a day is wrong but many Muslims do that. Not paying your taxes is wrong, but many people will do that too. Rishwat, beymani, jhoot, chori, all these things are wrong. People do them. Even people society deems as good.

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

^ makes sense. But should we feel bad about something that is a natural thing then?

I remember reading some upanishad extract a long time ago about conquering ones mind. Here the word conquest is not used in the normal sense of vanquishing an enemy by a superior power or strategy but rather a combination of conditioning, change the very nature of one's instincts.

Imagine - if you build a certain immunity over a long term, you can become immune from that infection or even a snake bite!

Sri Ramakrishna Paramhamsa actually experimented and proved that the old exhortation about learning to treat all women other than one's wife as one's mother.

Even if you don't want to vanquish such feelings, isn't sexual arousal intended to bring on a mental and physical fulfillment? In really young adlosecent days sex seems more physical but still there is a mental component to it even then. But as one matures the proportion changes. And at least in my experience the woman seems to like it better as somehow she seems to know when I am mentally happy and not just physically.

(I hope I have not crossed any bounds of decorum in stating these; I do not know the limits a muslim woman can be exposed to and if I have transgressed, my apologies)

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

that still doesnt justify why men should go the route of porn . -- the porn industry is vulgar and completely disregards the sacredness behind a relationship...therefore it is haraam - plain and simple, and that is why Allah emphasizes marriage for all people. Just because a man has an erection doesnt mean he has to satisfy it through means of porn.

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

But we like it anyways.

Chicks, hot chicks.

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Maybe because the desi biwi is not putting out for her husband… :stuck_out_tongue:

Seriously, what does “age appropriate” have to do with porn? :confused:

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Backbiting is haram too but why do desi women engage in it so much? :smiley:

Btw, are you western or some desi girl? And Sara is right in a way as to why the wife is coming out describing her husband watches porn and what kind of action he likes etc.. :woho:

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

Sab larkiyan ab ghaib… :shireen:

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

Uh… no.

and what does the original poster being western or desi have anything to do with the topic?

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^ When I find out about that then I will tell you the "context" of it too..

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Re: Pornography in families - AGE APPROPRIATE

I wonder what kind of a lecture that was :konfused:

Was that a documentary ?

The friend of your friend’s friedn who was wife of that man did something terrible by disclosing a secret habit of her husband to the world. Which is called in purest form in islam as ‘Gheebat’ (back biting) and is considered as gunah-e-kabira. She should repent before God and ask forgiveness from her husband.

On the other hand her husband is doing something wrong Islamically which is a sin. Which he is doing secretly. For which he is answerable to God himself
. But that wife was not supposed to broadcast it.

In she was dying to discuss it with her friends then she should have used some general phrase like A person X watches porn and his wife Y does not have a problem with it.

More elaboration on prohibition on disclosing moral sin done by a person .

In islam the punishment of adultry is very severe. But the court need four eye witness of this, to prove the crime. Now for instance if only one person , or two people saw this event and they go to court then blame the guy and women of adultry then court wont accept their testemony unless there are Four eye witness of this incident. ( in clear words if 4 people saw them doing it then couple was doing it publically, without any fear and spreading a moral crime in society)

If one or two people blame someone of adultry, it wont prove anything. And those people will be punished under the law of ‘Qazaf’ false allegation.

So it clearly tells us that we are not allowed to disclose any moral sin done discreatly, to public, if i am the sole witnes of that sin. But i can always do counseling