wait i don’t get it??? why is everyone saying to let it go instead of telling him wut’s right n wut’s wrong? that’s so pathetic
neely i think it be better if u got the courage to talk to him urself if u have a good relationship with him…
letting him explore??? c’mon that’s just dumb he’s only 13, im surprised every guy thinks it’s perfectly alright to do such stuff 
^^ Dittoo that ...
i aggree with XChroniX. He is only13. If he is already thinking about these things then there are some problems. you have to see who he hangs out with and what other things he is doing. He must be learning all this from someone.
As far as talking to him is concerned, someone has to do it. If its not you, then someone else has to do it. You can try to have a friendly relationship with him and try to talk to him as a friend. But dont put it into his head as DONT DO IT. If you do that, he will hide from you and do it. Then next time he will clear the history or something like that. Explain to him why its bad.
YOu can try all you want, but if he wants to do bad things, he will do it. But if he knows what is bad and what is good then he can make the judgement himself.
As far as the issue with you being a girl or not is concerned. Just shows how many people read the posts here.
Ok Neely, if you are uncomfartable with talking to him, try putting on parental lock or changing the internet setting of what contents you can view. The only problem with the second option is that it also blocks lot of good sites on health education so I wouldnt do it. As for the 13 year boy, dont directly mention to him of what he did but say it indirectly first. Tell him its wrong to view such things and to look at women in this manner but then honestly, the guy is just curious and he will get over it .........hopefully :)
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by proudpakistani: *
i aggree with XChroniX. He is only13. If he is already thinking about these things then there are some problems. you have to see who he hangs out with and what other things he is doing. He must be learning all this from someone.
As far as talking to him is concerned, someone has to do it. If its not you, then someone else has to do it. You can try to have a friendly relationship with him and try to talk to him as a friend. But dont put it into his head as DONT DO IT. If you do that, he will hide from you and do it. Then next time he will clear the history or something like that. Explain to him why its bad.
YOu can try all you want, but if he wants to do bad things, he will do it. But if he knows what is bad and what is good then he can make the judgement himself.
As far as the issue with you being a girl or not is concerned. Just shows how many people read the posts here.
[/QUOTE]
PP
The most sensible and constructive reply so far - thanks and your right about people not reply before answering!!
Girls will never understand guys.
If u stop him or restrict this new thing in his life ur only gona make him more curious, at the end of the day he wil always find other avenues to gain access to such material.
Personally, i think u should talk to him abt it in a way in which he realises that he can make his own mind up, dont tell him what he can or cant do as that may make it worse.
what kind of 13 year old is he? u never know, he may just need some guidance on the subject and probably doesnt realise that what hes doing is wrong.
^ an early bloomer.
I agree with the approach of just talking to him. Unless if he thinks you're an un-cool bore. In which case, you'll probably just make it worse.
Call me a cynic, but I really doubt that there is anything that you can say that would stop him looking at that filth. At that age, boys don't really care for much guidance from anywhere. If anything, telling them not to do something simply comes across to them as a challenge to try and do that thing without getting caught!
If they get pleasure from doing something and they can't see it harming anyone else, they will just go ahead and do it.
13 year olds cannot be reasoned with like adults.
I’m not surprised he has gotten an early start. Start showing explicit programs in the early evening with topless women who’s breasts are covered by an opaque bar and what do you expect? And forget that, there are innuendos in even supposedly children friendly shows like Friends of couples sleeping together and how can you possibly NOT expect a child to get curious and for his lust to be whetted? Of course he’s going to want more, and the unadultrated uncensored truth too.
I think many Muslim kids already realize that looking at porn is wrong but correct me if I’m wrong, it’s like an addiction and you end up looking at it even if you don’t want to. I think probably the best thing you can do for the kid is tell him ways to avoid it. There are many very good tips on Islamic websites and I’m going to post some links. I hope this helps. I would not install any filters, he needs to do the prevention stuff himself and he’s not a baby anymore to have right and wrong forcefed to him. My female friends had access to sexually explicit material when we were 11 and we were already daring each other to strip. And in highschool and university, sex is pathetically easily available so it’s good that he learns how to avoid things himself.
http://www.soundvision.com/info/life/porn/11tips.asp
http://www.soundvision.com/info/life/porn/15tips.asp
Tip #1: Know what is Halal and what’s not
Tip #2: Remember your accountability to Allah
Tip #3: Become conscious of the Haram
Tip #4: If feeling overwhelmed, remember Allah
Tip #5: Seek refuge in Allah from Shaytan
Tip #6: Get up and leave
Tip #7: Avoid those involved in pornography
Tip #8: Stay away from places where it’s found
Tip #9: Surf or watch T.V. when others are around
Tip #10: Remember your example
If you have younger brothers and sisters, think of the bad example you’re setting for them. What message will they get if they barge into your room and catch you watching Baywatch or flipping through Playboy.
Tip #11: For brothers-remember your mom and sister
Disgusting right? Exactly. No one in his right mind would look at his mom or sister the way many of us look at the Baywatch babes or the girls on the internet or in magazines. Remember mom and your sister, and that should sicken you enough to stop, Insha Allah.
Tip #12: Have someone watch over you
If you really feel you’re becoming addicted (see http://www.soundvision.com) to this kind of material, try to watch TV, surf the internet with someone else. You don’t have to tell them why you’re doing this, but this method can perhaps keep you in check and help you avoid looking at pornography or other similar material. After all, Shaytan tempts us most easily when we’re alone. Sitting in the company of a family member or good Muslim friend will Insha Allah, help.
Tip #13: Fast
The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) advised us to fast to cool passions. This should be a method we use to handle the desire aroused by pornography and similar material.
Tip #14: Tauba: Return to Allah
If you do end up watching the bad stuff, repent to Allah. Seek His forgiveness, reaffirm your faith in Him, and do good deed to compensate for that sin. He is All-Forgiven as long as you are sincere.
Tip #15: Repent Again and Fine Yourself
If you lapse, do tauba again. Allah is All-Forgiving as long as we mean it. But then you need to discipline yourself by promising to yourself that if I did it again, I will pay this much in charity or fast for a day.
Some parents might think the only way to stop the infiltration of pornography into the minds of their children is by simply cutting off the source of the material. They would consider, for instance, not even installing or disconnecting the internet from the home.
But while this may solve the problem temporarily, it does not teach young Muslims how to deal with this material when they see it everywhere else: on television, billboards on the street, or magazines, for instance.
http://www.soundvision.com/info/life/porn/20tips.asp
Sorry for the long reply but the links are very usefu. Good luck. I think he must be masturbating as well so talk to him about that too.
ik tay saaryaaN nooN mama banan da baRa shoaq aay..
He’s your cousin.. not your son.. It’s his parent’s job to keep an eye on him or check his activites.. Since he used your computer.. just tell him the next time not to access any content he’d not be proud of his parents knowing about.
I’m sure he’d get the hint..
oh and follow funguy’s advice too 
Actually PA, a lot of parents would rather bury their heads under the sand than confront this and many don't even realize how great the temptations are. And for most parents, it's a really uncomfortable thing that they'd rather get over with quickly. Not exactly a condusive atmosphere for a young adolescent to ask questions and get non-judgemental advice on how to lick the problem. Besides, a friend is less likely to chastice.
So often kids are left to their own means because adults are scared of speaking about such things. It's a shame because as a result kids get their information from the wrong places.
I would speak to him if I were you.
Not scolding, but a man to man talk about becoming an adult. Don't forbid it but DO make him realize this is just ONE of the many temptations that he will have, choices he will have to make thinking about what's best for himself in the long run.
I would tell him something like the following:
As boys grow, they become curious about many things that involve women, That is just natural and is a sign that he's healthy. Curiosity about the female body is part of this. Curiosity about sex is part of this. It's something that's hard to talk about too. If you're curious why don't you come to me and I'll try and be honest with you.
Sex is just one small part of a man's relationship with a women. Pornography is one way in which some men satisfy their curiosity, but it's a very shallow way to satisfy one's needs. Men and women need love and companionship from their parters and such things can't satisfy that need. Sex is an important part of that relationship, but when there is no relationship then sex just cheapens us.
Anyone have other ideas?
i know you mean well.. but girls .. please.. u don't know how a 13 year old boy's mind works.
all this 'responsible' sex talk to them sounds like: "blah blah blah..sex.. blah blah pornography.. blah blah women.. blah..."
Nelli your a guy?
Shirin, good advice.
Neely is a guy 
ooh yeah hang him :k:
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by PakistaniAbroad: *
i know you mean well.. but girls .. please.. u don't know how a 13 year old boy's mind works.
all this 'responsible' sex talk to them sounds like: "blah blah blah..sex.. blah blah pornography.. blah blah women.. blah..."
[/QUOTE]
You hit it right on the head man. I can't help but to laugh at some of the suggestions these people are giving. 13 years is not to young to be thinking about such things. A boy starts to get these urges right around this time. I know I did. If someone gave me this lecture when I was thirteen, it would be exactly like pakistaniabroad described it, "blah blah blah..sex.. blah blah pornography.. blah blah women.. blah..."
Neeli, for god's sake, leave the boy alone. He didn't do anything wrong. Sexuality at his age is mostly curiosity. Let him explore, trust me, He will grow out of it.
one day pornography will lead him having sex with some girls.
Trust me, I still remember back in middle school guys would talk about pornography, but now in High school all they talk about is sex and asking you if u r still a virgin (still going throught this).
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Unreal: *
one day pornography will lead him having sex with some girls.
Trust me, I still remember back in middle school guys would talk about pornography, but now in High school all they talk about is sex and asking you if u r still a virgin (still going throught this).
[/QUOTE]
you say it like sex is a bad thing. Nothing wrong with having sex unless watching porn turns you into a kinky ******* who gets off on bondage or dominatrix type of "gandi" acts.