Re: Polygamy and Islam
Al-Azhar does not accept suicide bombings, and I have no idea what Saudi government universities sponsor.
http://newswww.bbc.net.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/1690624.stm](http://newswww.bbc.net.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/1690624.stm)
It is a near unanimous position that suicide (and so suicide bombings) is a grave sin. The ‘disputes’ among scholars on this issue is fictitious.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
The Quran talks about not hurting your wife. So, if you don't tell her and just get married, you've forfeited her right to have an opinion and get out of the marriage if she wants to. In effect, you've bypassed her right to not be in a marriage she doesn't want to be in. Therefore, you've attempted to hurt her.
I do not know of any clear verse that says "you don't need the permission of your first wife". However, there is no verse that says "make sure to get the permission of the first wife, and hence people argue that because of lack of a statement in the Quran, you don't need permission.
However, they forget the verses that talk about not causing any kind of pain to the wife, dealing kindly with her, etc.
Now here is my question: Why would anyone want to get married a second time WITHOUT informing his second wife or seeking her permission to see if its ok with her...?
Re: Polygamy and Islam
I do not understand where on earth men have this notion they have permission to remarry up to 4 times. Oh gosh you knuckle heads pathetic souls it states clearly –First off this – This was mentioned after Jage Badar [correct me here guys]. At that moment there were very less men and a lot of women with children who needed to be taken care of. Once you do have 2 wives you cannot have even a inch difference between both of them. You must treat each equally you will be reliable for tons of duties for both of them. Its not a joke.
As far as I am concerned! My husband better ask for my duplicate even up in Jannah otherwise we will have issues.
In today’s world usually one man is not fully committed to one wife how on earth he can have a second one.
korisn- i have similar feelings myself......I would rather spend my entire life all by myself instead of sharing my husband with someone else :~) -
by the way the way you guys bring yourself just even here on gupshup i hope thats not the real side of you. Otherwise i wont be surpries if you dont even get the first wife
I agree. The guys who come on here saying such stuff that they've got the power to do this and that...puh-lease. If they were such hotshots that are getting so many women to enter into polygamous marriages in the first place with them, they would not spend so much time on the net to begin with. These guys are daydreaming. Doubtful they will have the fursat to find a first wife and make her happy enough, what with all the time they spend on the net.
If these guys aren't married, they will need their moms to find them a wife. They sure don't have the time, because they are in rel forum all the time.
If these guys are married, then I bet ya the wife is being neglected. And here they are passing around free Islamic marital advice. Abhay pehle apna ghar tho dekho.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
I don't understand one thing.
All those who say that you don't need to ask the first wife for permission, please respond.
If the second potential wife is being told that the potential husband already has a first wife, then she is being given a choice, a choice to go into a marriage with a man who already has another wife.
The first wife, if she is not being told of this, is not being given this choice if her permission/approval is not required for her husband to take on a second wife.
Doesn't that make it so that there is injustice between the two right from the get go as the first wife was given no such choice while the second wife was?
If someone could explain this, it'd be much appreciated. Thanks
Re: Polygamy and Islam
[QUOTE]
Well everyone assumes he can treat all wifes equally. I personally believe I can, although if my first wife was loving and was apposed to be taking another wife then I would take her opinion into consideration
[/QUOTE]
sir , its not eassy to treat all wifes equally .. 4 wives allow not on the assume basses but u sure that u ll
App salal Allaho alyhi waslam nay fermaya jis ka mafhoom hay
jis nay apne bewioo kay haqqoq main masawat nahi rukhee qayamat kay din is haal main uthay ga kay us kay jissam kay adha hisa maflooj ho ga
if any one want to ask his wife about other marrige then it ok
but we r talking about does man marry with other women without taking permisson from her first wife or not
so Quran said he can .
when u said its hurting for first wife so its due to ignorence... when u belive that its permission From Allah and we r here just for follow his orders then there is no hurt or bad feeling
Re: Polygamy and Islam
I think this aspect of 1 man many wives might have been some necessity in the past ancient times (perhaps a lopsided gender ratio). Polygamy wasn't really unique to Islam in those times. But it is certainly not an acceptable practice today. Considering it is one way, it is not only barbaric but also highly discriminatory.
Like the practice of sati in Hinduism, this practice should be banned
Re: Polygamy and Islam
If your man wants to be with another woman can you really stop him? Can you, really? Then whether you give him a permission or not does not really matter. But one thing is for sure, it's totally a choice of the first wife to want to stay in marriage with such a man or not. In any case, a man HAS to take responsibility of his wives whether there is only one, two, three or four. That's Islam. No western concept of having one wife but sleeping with many girlfriends on the side.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
^ It's one thing to cheat and sometrhing else to commit polygamy as a 'sanctioned' practice. Just because murders occur doesn't mean you should make killing legal
Re: Polygamy and Islam
^^Does every other person you've met wants to kill someone? I haven't! But I know it is generally true that most men naturally feel they want to be with more than one woman.
Islam is a very practical religion. If it allows men more partners it also orders them to take responsibility of their actions. If Polygamy promoted men to have more than one partners than why are most Muslim men monogamous? And why is opposite is true for non-muslim men? Ever wondered?
Re: Polygamy and Islam
Islam is a very practical religion. If it allows men more partners it also orders them to take responsibility of their actions. If Polygamy promoted men to have more than one partners than why are most Muslim men monogamous? And why is opposite is true for non-muslim men? Ever wondered?
If most men that you know want to be with more than one woman, it is a reflection of your community. if a religion is built around that or even sactions that behavior, it doesn't make the pratice right and certainly makes the religion suspect. On top of that. if that same religion makes that a one way street, as in islam where polygamy is sanctioned but not polyandry, then it is discriminatory and barbaric.
As I said before, this may have been necessary in the desert at that time but is no longer an allowable sanction and needs to be rectified.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
Most men wanting to be with more than one woman does not prove anything about a community or a religion. It’s just nature of men in general. But Islam puts so many restrictions on such men that it is virtually impossible for an ordinary person to have multiple wives. We are talking about ‘wives’ and not mistresses or girlfriends you see. Marriage for men in Islam is not just about sleeping with different women but it is about taking responsibility of the family giving another woman you name, status and because men are made to take financial burden of the house and be good to family so in Islam, it’s not easy to get away with such acts. Polygamy is not a foursome my friend. Think practically and you’ll know the whole concept. Most Muslim men stay committed to a single wife all their life, why? because Polygamy is a headache!
Re: Polygamy and Islam
If the second potential wife is being told that the potential husband already has a first wife, then she is being given a choice, a choice to go into a marriage with a man who already has another wife.
The first wife, if she is not being told of this, is not being given this choice if her permission/approval is not required for her husband to take on a second wife.
Doesn't that make it so that there is injustice between the two right from the get go as the first wife was given no such choice while the second wife was?
If someone could explain this, it'd be much appreciated. Thanks
Now that is a very interesting angle. A definite logical contradiction. You can't take on the second wife and not tell her about the first one, because that would be blatant violation of rights.
So, if you can give the second a choice, surely the first needs to get a choice as well, because the Quran says you must treat the wives equally.
I congratulate you. I think this logical contradiction has thrown OUT the option of not giving your first wife the choice of being in the marriage in the first place.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
Like the practice of sati in Hinduism, this practice should be banned
There is simply NO comparison with the mandatory burning (alive) of a wife at her husbands death, and the option of a husband to take multiple wives (with the other wives having the ability to opt out of the marriage)...none, zip nada.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
i’m looking at this from a realistic point of view, not a “saintly” point of view. Face it, there are very few (if any) guys in this world who can be considered saints. What I mean by saints, is have the ability to treat more than 1 woman equally. In the real world, its close to impossible for a guy to treat more than one woman equally. And realistically speaking - i’m not mother theresa either; I don’t bardash to see my future husband split even 1 second between me and another woman. I love my fiance unconditionally and exclusively. And I expect the same. I agree that love cannot run out or be exhausted, but I also feel that love between husband and wife cannot be shared or split either. Like Nia, (god forbid) if I’m ever in that situation, I would rather back off than spend the rest of my life fuming…
and on a side note… religion aside, how many guys would be able to tolerate sharing their wives with another husband…??? 
Re: Polygamy and Islam
Why be so apologetic about polygamy? Women and non-muslims will cry about till Judgement day but that doesn't change the fact that our prophet (pbuh) and sahaba (ra) practiced it, and it is allowed by God.
Anyone with issues with it can argue with God when they get their chance.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
There are reasons why only men are allowed to have more than 1.
I have seen several ladies - who consider this, another of a good thing that Islam has to offer – and oddly enough - their attitude and behaviour towards other is far better than most women.
You know what, you are right about you not being Mother Therisa.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
To add to the topic under discussion I have a very simple question. Supposedly I am confident that I would be able to do justice to both my wives before marrying for the second time, but later realise that I am not able to do justice to either of them. So how do I wriggle out of the situation. I am in love with both of them and am not able to choose between them. I would not be able to divorce one of them since that would mean hurting that person and doing something partisan. So what is the solution !!!
Re: Polygamy and Islam
Rashguy - thats not very hard to figure out: You try your best to do justice between the 2.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
^^ See i don't find it working especially these days.
Re: Polygamy and Islam
okay...no offence...but thats disgustingGG...
why are guys allowed to marry as many times as they want?...like i get what NIA is saying... BUT....having like 20 wives at the same timee...thats GROSS..and talking about the rights...thats soo not the only thing that counts...i mean...if you guys think about ladies doing the same thing...what would your reaction be?...