my sister’s bro-in-law had an affair with one the office secretaries (after being married for like 20+ years with grown up kids) and ended up marrying her..he had her set up in a completely different residence, with car, naukar etc. has kids with her. she and her children by him were completely shunned by the khandaan, especially by my sister’s saas who did not even acknoweledge the children…she fiercely stuck by her bahu.
now, fast forward 12 or so years, his oldest son has followed in the same path and taken a second wife, who i believe also was an employee in one of their offices.
I used to think polygamy was horrible and impossible and just wow wtf, but honestly...just because we've been raised in a society to see monogamy as the only way doesn't mean other options don't exist. Or that those other options won't yield happy results.
And this is exactly what I was arguing in the other thread. We've been indoctrinated to view monogamy as the only way to live, but that is not the only way, and humans lived quite differently for thousands of years.
It really depends on the woman. Some woman view marriage/husband as source of economic stability and tolerate it. I
Guess if you look at from romantic prospect then
It is very difficult to tolerate a sukun. After several children, some women have no choice to keep the family intact It is not widely accepted among middle class pakis. I guess among the rich it may common to have second wife, mistress or girlfriend. and probably among some poor.
one ended after a very short time... it was a man who had grown up kids, married a divorced woman who had grown up kids of her own... but I dont think the marriage lasted even a year.
There was another man who had two wives, and they all lived together.
And another, where the wives live separately with their kids (and hubby on occassions).
and oh i knew of someone whose father had passed away leaving behind a widow and 5 children.... an uncle of theirs (in Pak), who was married and had a family of his own, married their mother (to provide financial support)
From what I now, the children were excelptionally happy and grateful to the uncle..
There is a man here locally who is known to have 3 wives. He has a home for each one of them and I believe there aren't any issues. In fact he's supposed to marry a 4th soon.
No I don't know anyone personally who is living happily in a ploygamous situation. One of our neighbours (a pathan family) has two wives. Both their children are being brought up by the two mothers and they call their moms choti ami and bari ami. But the women fight alot. They are uneducated and we get to know all sorts of small reasons of their fight like who should cook the food etc etc. Good thing is that the wives are not instilling a sense of hatred among children and the children really consider each other their siblings. I guess its a happy story then :D
My mom mentions the 2 marriage of Pakistani film Actor Santosh. He married an actress and the two wives got on well with each other. My mom says the cordial relationship of two wives was very well known. In order to re-confirm, I searched the net and found out the following:
During the location shooting of the film 'Wada', Santosh-Sabiha had developed tremendous understanding. Hence they decided to marry and became hero-heroine in their real life, too !
Santosh Kumar's first wife, Jameela, was an highly educated, gorgeous, enlightened and a realistic lady and both Sabiha and Jameela lost no time to nurture close relationship which continues to this day.
