Any advice for Canadian born Hyderabadi wife married to a Pakistani? Any tips or pointers on how to deal with the hubby and mother in law? Need help understanding what they REALLY mean when they say something.
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
they r all same :D .....
u deal wid them the same way u would deal with hyderabadi in laws and hubby.............
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
can you be a bit more specific? I dont really know how to reply even tho I live in in a mixed cultural household....
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
So if I say im going to be at your place shortly, that means an hour or 2. That seems to piss off my hydro friends, and they classify it as a Pakistani issue :)
I have two tips:
1) Don't say 'Nakko'
2) Don't do the bending down, close-up Salam.
:D
As for other things like how to know what they really mean, you should tell us more!
What's the difference? Unless your Pakistani husband's family is from some really remote part of Pakistan, it's the same.
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
You have to be more specific. But I think you may not be as familiar with the non-verbal or subtle cues in their behavior, which can vary from region to region. you can only learn by time and experience.
Oh and I PM'd you some more details.
I have two tips:
1) Don't say 'Nakko' 2) Don't do the bending down, close-up Salam.
:D
As for other things like how to know what they really mean, you should tell us more!
hahahahahahahah hilarious long time since i heard dt..... oh n not to forget dont use "hau" :P hahahahahahaha
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
^ "mere ko ye hau naa!!!" how can I forget that?
On a more serious note, my husband told me the other day that hyderabadi culture is very strict, in the sense that when you say you are going to do something, you do it. Also, lies are not tolerated. II think pakistani is more like arrive 10 hours late for a wedding and you will see that everyone else has too.
^ "mere ko ye hau naa!!!" how can I forget that?
On a more serious note, my husband told me the other day that hyderabadi culture is very strict, in the sense that when you say you are going to do something, you do it. Also, lies are not tolerated. II think pakistani is more like arrive 10 hours late for a wedding and you will see that everyone else has too.
hey rupayhalwa..... au contraire..... i ve never seen an "on time" hyderabadi..... infact der all xtremly laid back n take forever to do things.....the word " strict" is so unrelatable to hyderabadis........ infact if u ask a hydi to do sumthin it wont b done for a few days n wen u ask em it they go liek oh "kal-ich bole the na" .. hahahhahaha ..... another thing to ad... the addition of "ich" after every word..... :p
never mention
MIRCHI KA SALAN!!!!!!!
it simply does not exist for Pakistanis!!
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
you guys just proved this girl's point about how to deal with pakistani husband and inlaws: great making fun of the culture she grew up in. I applaud all of you, because, you know, Pakistanis are always on time and the dialect they speak is perfect, and if her husband and MIL are taunting her speech and stuff, she wholly deserves it. When she asks, "what do the REALLY mean when they say something"- it's probably that they are making fun of the way she talks or something like you guys are and she doesn't understand it i.e. she doesn't know if they are mocking her or they're just teasing.
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
I am just telling her the Pakistani perspective since Pakistanis especially like me are one of the most ignorant people and this is what goes in their minds! sorry if its sounded like I was making fun..
you guys just proved this girl's point about how to deal with pakistani husband and inlaws: great making fun of the culture she grew up in. I applaud all of you, because, you know, Pakistanis are always on time and the dialect they speak is perfect, and if her husband and MIL are taunting her speech and stuff, she wholly deserves it. When she asks, "what do the REALLY mean when they say something"- it's probably that they are making fun of the way she talks or something like you guys are and she doesn't understand it i.e. she doesn't know if they are mocking her or they're just teasing.
umm miss snazzy no ones mocking anyone here. im a hyderabadi tooo.... n i ws excited at findn some hydi peeps here n was sharing traits of my culture nt mockin it..... id slay someone for mockin me or our unique traits....i duno bout other posters but i for one ws sharing stuff we say n hw we r.... nt mockin.... they r two diff things.... now i duno if other ppl wer mockin hydi culture..... that i cnt say....
Whats so special about a hyderabadi wife?
She always knows how to make bhagharey bhaingan.
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
The word "bhaingan" sounds like the english word "retarded". :p as-salik are you hyderabadi as in pakistani or indian?
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
^ How do those words sound the same?
Anyway, I just mean that hearing these things from inlaws can turn from teasing to mocking. I'm hydro myself, and one of my relatives married into a pakistani family. It started out as simple teasing about language, habits, etc, but eventually it became such a running joke and she felt so conscious of herself. Like being made fun of the way she speaks- it was like "haha look how funny it sounds" or "wait wait, what did you say? nakko? ahahaha so funny" or "why are your relatives like this? it must be a hyderabadi thing" She gradually gave up everything and just started to be more pakistani- she doesn't even sound like herself anymore, she stopped cooking hyderabadi food, etc. i guess it depends on how your inlaws are.
Sorry I blew up on you guys...
^ How do those words sound the same?
Anyway, I just mean that hearing these things from inlaws can turn from teasing to mocking. I'm hydro myself, and one of my relatives married into a pakistani family. It started out as simple teasing about language, habits, etc, but eventually it became such a running joke and she felt so conscious of herself. Like being made fun of the way she speaks- it was like "haha look how funny it sounds" or "wait wait, what did you say? nakko? ahahaha so funny" or "why are your relatives like this? it must be a hyderabadi thing" She gradually gave up everything and just started to be more pakistani- she doesn't even sound like herself anymore, she stopped cooking hyderabadi food, etc. i guess it depends on how your inlaws are.
Sorry I blew up on you guys...
hey snazzy .. im so happy ur hyderabadi too.... :P.... goin off track here i guess.... but i think u can share ur cousins story in detail wid da poster to give her some insight.... think dt wud help her....
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
One of my BILs is Hyderabadi. I'll tell you one thing on how to survive among Pakistanis if you're not a Pakistani...regardless of what your origins really are:
Try to keep a light attitude...we joke around a lot. Sometimes I even tease my BIL with some Hydro jokes and he has a pretty good sense of humor about it. He does it right back, never misses a beat and we have a laugh. We have our faults too and its no secret. There is nothing wrong with Hyderabadi culture...its just very different. When people dont know how to handle something different, they do one of two things: either ignore it completely OR laugh at it. Those are the usual responses. Dont be offended, laugh it off...this will help them understand that you are not ashamed of your roots and can handle a joke once in a while.
When you're cooking, try to make some really good Hyderabadi dishes for your inlaws. I love shahi tukre...double ka meetha as you guys call it. There is no need for you to hide or be ashamed just because you married into a slightly different culture. I love khatti daal, mirchi ka salan, double ka meetha, etc. Learn Pakistani dishes but once in a while, make something Hyderabadi, tell your inlaws you really like it and wanted to make it for them as well.
As for what we mean when we say something. There isnt any real lingo...lol. Just hang in there...you'll be fine. We really arent that bad. :)