Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
^^ Top three posts: Pardon my ignorance but please explain what is so significant about hyderabadis and especially what does it mean by "hyderabadi married to a pakistani guy"?
^^ Top three posts: Pardon my ignorance but please explain what is so significant about hyderabadis and especially what does it mean by "hyderabadi married to a pakistani guy"?
i cnt say bout others but i interpret "hyderabadi married to a pakistani guy" as an indian girl of hyderabadi decent... from the state of A.P whch is in india... where the nizams ruled..... married to a pakistan decent guy and family....
and to answer ur frist question..... hyderabadis r significantly diff in der dilect... and mannerisms n culture.... its very diff from the rest of india itslef.... i mean the rest of muslims in india.... n wen compared to pakistani ppl its diff in leaps n bounds...our lehja... way of speakin urdu is very diff... its sorta all slangd up. and our culture is a take off from the nizami cutlre ..... i cnt say mcuh cuz i dont reli lvie in hdyerbad.. but its said to b more focused on mannerismn n conservative-ish. n hydis love to eat n talk n ve gatherings n ve gr8 sense of humour.. but the major differences to apkistanis come up in their way of speakin urdu and cultures and behviour n sense of humour... once u meet some hydis ul kwn hw they r n hw to deal wid em.... wel dts all i can explain or try to explain..... wil think more on this....
hey rupayhalwa..... au contraire..... i ve never seen an "on time" hyderabadi..... infact der all xtremly laid back n take forever to do things.....the word " strict" is so unrelatable to hyderabadis........ infact if u ask a hydi to do sumthin it wont b done for a few days n wen u ask em it they go liek oh "kal-ich bole the na" .. hahahhahaha ..... another thing to ad... the addition of "ich" after every word..... :p
I agree. I'm Pakistani of Hyderabadi descent and I'm only ever on time the first time I meet someone (first impressions count).
After that I'm always between 20 minutes and 2 hours late, and respond to any complaints with "What kind of Hyderabadi would I be if I was actually on-time?"
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
Wow nice to see so many Hydros! I'm one myself...totally love my culture and dialect...don't take it in the wrong sense Snazzy :)
And guys, don't forget 'kaiku'
And yes, Deccan Hyderabadis are verryyyyy laid back and easy going. Zyada tension nai lete hum loga. lol...
Sorry for derailing the thread...
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
lol...wow what replies!
Yes, I am of Hyderbaadi descent, my parents are PURE hydros, actually my mom's slightly pakistanified because of the vast influence of Pakistanis in our circle. But its kinda funny, cuz growing up, I used to imitate Pakistani urdu really well, and now here I am speaking it FULL time with my hubby and inlaws. I'm not really into the 'haow, nakko, salaam with the upturned hand," stuff anyway, or baragay baygun, mirchi salan, etc, its funny cuz hardly anyone from our younger generation likes it, I thought I'd get off the hook from having to learn how to cook it. Turns out the husband likes it.
Yes, my hubby's from Pakistan. I never saw that happening though.
And yes, Hyderabadis' are ALWAYS LATE! If you're not late, you're not a true hydro! lol...
I guess some things that I found kinda wierd is the emphasis that Pakis place on clothing and appearance. I mean, my in laws are soooo into that kind of stuff, and me, I like dressing up, but I grew up with loose clothes, not really into fashionable stuff, I do full hijab, etc. My inlaws (very nice and respectable people) don't do hijab, so I'm kinda nervous about what they're going to think of me, cuz I think I'd be old fashioned for them. And my bhabi's like a super model! Me on the other hand... I guess I'm just insecure.... :S So how can I brave it all when I go to Pakistan and everyone will be checking out this old fashioned dadee who looks no where like the elder bahoo. lol...
You have to be more specific. But I think you may not be as familiar with the non-verbal or subtle cues in their behavior, which can vary from region to region. you can only learn by time and experience.
Oh and I PM'd you some more details.
hey jazakallah for your advice, I tried responding to your message, but it says I need to post more before I can send PM'S.
But hydro power all the way! lol... I'll change my urdu style, but not my saris or cooking, I'll make both types inshallah. Compromise! hehe..
ummm hunny that’s just your in laws then.
Every family is different. There are lots of families that do not place as much imortance on looks/clothing, and do parda/hijab.
Surprised i even have to say this 
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
Anytime they say something derogatory about Hyderabad or India, point them to a recent issue of Wallstreet Journal or Business Week, and ask them to find where the term Pakistan is. Once then can't find it, they will shut up.
lol...wow what replies!
Yes, I am of Hyderbaadi descent, my parents are PURE hydros, actually my mom's slightly pakistanified because of the vast influence of Pakistanis in our circle. But its kinda funny, cuz growing up, I used to imitate Pakistani urdu really well, and now here I am speaking it FULL time with my hubby and inlaws. I'm not really into the 'haow, nakko, salaam with the upturned hand," stuff anyway, or baragay baygun, mirchi salan, etc, its funny cuz hardly anyone from our younger generation likes it, I thought I'd get off the hook from having to learn how to cook it. Turns out the husband likes it.
Yes, my hubby's from Pakistan. I never saw that happening though.
And yes, Hyderabadis' are ALWAYS LATE! If you're not late, you're not a true hydro! lol...
I guess some things that I found kinda wierd is the emphasis that Pakis place on clothing and appearance. I mean, my in laws are soooo into that kind of stuff, and me, I like dressing up, but I grew up with loose clothes, not really into fashionable stuff, I do full hijab, etc. My inlaws (very nice and respectable people) don't do hijab, so I'm kinda nervous about what they're going to think of me, cuz I think I'd be old fashioned for them. And my bhabi's like a super model! Me on the other hand... I guess I'm just insecure.... :S So how can I brave it all when I go to Pakistan and everyone will be checking out this old fashioned dadee who looks no where like the elder bahoo. lol...
Yes...you will find some Pakistani families who are into dressing up and fashion forward but dont let that unnerve you.
If your bhabi is super model beautiful and she is the eldest bahu...they must have seen something beautiful in you too...which is why you are the younger bahu.
Dont forget that and you will be fine. :)
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
jazakallah khair sister for your kind words. You definitely lit up my day :)
lol...wow what replies!
Yes, I am of Hyderbaadi descent, my parents are PURE hydros, actually my mom's slightly pakistanified because of the vast influence of Pakistanis in our circle. But its kinda funny, cuz growing up, I used to imitate Pakistani urdu really well, and now here I am speaking it FULL time with my hubby and inlaws. I'm not really into the 'haow, nakko, salaam with the upturned hand," stuff anyway, or baragay baygun, mirchi salan, etc, its funny cuz hardly anyone from our younger generation likes it, I thought I'd get off the hook from having to learn how to cook it. Turns out the husband likes it.
Yes, my hubby's from Pakistan. I never saw that happening though.
And yes, Hyderabadis' are ALWAYS LATE! If you're not late, you're not a true hydro! lol...
I guess some things that I found kinda wierd is the emphasis that Pakis place on clothing and appearance. I mean, my in laws are soooo into that kind of stuff, and me, I like dressing up, but I grew up with loose clothes, not really into fashionable stuff, I do full hijab, etc. My inlaws (very nice and respectable people) don't do hijab, so I'm kinda nervous about what they're going to think of me, cuz I think I'd be old fashioned for them. And my bhabi's like a super model! Me on the other hand... I guess I'm just insecure.... :S So how can I brave it all when I go to Pakistan and everyone will be checking out this old fashioned dadee who looks no where like the elder bahoo. lol...
being late rules!!!!!! but im the sorta hydro girl whos punctual:P
as-salik its not just pakistani ppl who place whole lot of emphasis on clothes and apperance thee r many such muslim ppl... but u shudnt b self conscious bout it and rethink ur ways and likes.. be ursefl.. there must b sumthin amazing bout u that they pickd u as der second bhau rite....ur loose clothes and hijab mgiht help em love u for ur love n obedience of islam and gt to kne it mroe and become more islamic to who knws?!?! can happen
n wearing a hijab and loose clothes isnt old fashioned hjoney there r zillions of girls i see wearing such vohtes n hijab n still carry themselves well.... they look like elegant ladies.... u can do the same.. accesories ur clotes a bit with cute shoes and bag and carry ursefl with gr8 posture ul look as elegant as them u dont ve to change ur clothing mannerisms to look like a supermodel... u n ur bhabhi can b two diff kinds of elegant.....
i dont think u shud change urself and become like em or shy away from tlakin ur way or nt talk at all.... u can jus alter a bit of hydi slangs n try khalis urdu but jus enjoy pakistan n meetin ur hubbyz homeland...dont gt self consiuc or compare urself to models... u might ve a noor on urself.. n lot of ppl in pakistan dres modestly and wear a hijab too.. so u wont b the only one.. niether wil u be seen as a dadee....
i grew up with pakis tooo......i dint try imitatin their urdu but it jus happend cuz i was lil n growin up n u knw u pick up stuff wen ur a kid.... anyhoo.....u cn learn to cook... its no biggie... ur MIL or SIL can teach u to do so.... or jump on here n ask for pointers and recipes ..
gud luck....
I will have to tell Mr Halwa that he is sadly mistaken, actually he has just gone out with his beloved Hyderabadi friend, perhaps its just the friend who is like that, an odd one. Perhaps said Hyderabadi friend deserves to be beaten for this crime against his culture… 
lol… good one… i shal be der to witness the beating as a rep of our culture:p… hehehheheheheh 
I think what she means with the fashion and appearances thing is not about wearing fashion forward things like short sleeves or capri-suits or anything that compromises her hijab. She means that her inlaws expect that her kameez is the appropriate length for the current trend (i.e. not too long) or she's not still wearing puff sleeves that were 'in' a long time ago, or that she's not wearing a trouser suit anymore because the trend is over, or that her clothes are not made with a four inch margin for "growth" (with the 4inch margin thing, take if from a hyderabadi, it took my mom years to explain this to her mother whenever she ordered clothes from india).
I find that pakistanis in general are more particular about these things. In hyderabadi circles, it's not really considered too important. I PM'd you more about this as-salik.
PSquared: It's totally different for the guy to be from Hyderabad compared to the girl. MILs will judge their DILs more strictly than than their son in laws, and girls are more likely to take it to heart as well. As long as the guy is making good money, there really won't be criticisms, and teasing about mannerisms will be laughed off. But if a girl cooks differently, dresses differently, or speaks differently, it will be noticed and commented upon. If a girl is told by her in-laws that her speech is funny, it will be construed as criticism, whereas if a guy is told the same, it's good natured fun.
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
yeah... tell me about it! I had to explain to my MIL that I wanted everything longer and wider. lol... The shirt longer, the width a bit more, long sleeves, and shorter slits. It was so funny cuz the sample shalwar kameez that I sent to Pakistan apparently is her size! mind you, my MIL is not a skinny person.
It's just going to be weird wearing skin tight clothes where everything just literally pops out. But the good thing is that my husband is really strict about purdah and stuff, so I'd only have to wear t infront of ladies, but I think I'd wrap my dupatta nicely around my head so I'm all covered but also looking somewhat fashionable. lol.... But sis, Snazzy, don't worry about me wearing the hijab nicely, I'm pretty fashionable in my hijabs and abayas, (within limits of course), so insha'Allah she'll approve of it. Makeup... I suck at putting it on, I feel like I look a clown and it just doesn't help me, having low self esteem also doesn't help.. lol... as for facial hair, man, am I lazy with that! but alhumdulillah, my siblings and I have naturally shaped and groomed eyebrows, so I don't have to worry about them. But yeah, I guess it'll take some time to get used to it, and also have to try my best not to take everything to heart.
never mention
MIRCHI KA SALAN!!!!!!!
it simply does not exist for Pakistanis!!
Actually pakistani hyderabadis love mirchoon ka salan and I have seen in usa that non hyderabadi pakistanis have also started liking it.
So, it is sort of misconception that Pakistanis don't like some of these hyderabadi traditional cusines.
Re: POinters for a non-Pakistani
No! don't lose your self-esteem. Be confident. Try this, it really works: whenever you feel insecure give yourself a pep talk about how great you are, and think about things that you are uniquely good at or unique qualities. It may seem vain or not humble, but it really is a confidence booster. E.g. "I'm really funny, people love it when I'm around" etc.