PLZ HELP ME

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Asalam-o-alikam!
Em a new user on GS…mujay ap sab ki help chai plz help me

I met this guy online…we became frndz n this frndship turned into LOVE
Its been 3 yrs since v know each other
He livez in pakistan n em ere in UK. Ham her rooz bat kertay hy aik dosray say (on msn) …We both really love each other n wanna geh married
em 18 n heZ 23 but that doesn’t matter to me as long as he loves me n carez 4 me
Hez the best guy i have ever met in my WHOLE life…I love him lyk hell
Last year i went to pakistan n met him 4 the 1st time in ma lyf
His family knew about me but i told my parents when i visit pk n met him in real life bkoz i wanted to see him in reality. jald bazi mai koi faisla nahe kerna chati thi
Now that i told ma parents about him …everything is fi9 they like him n his family n he wants to geh engaged in this summer
BUT there is a problem…
Meray parents muajy pak nahe baijna chatay shadi k bad. They want me to live ere in uk n there are severall reasonz 4 that
No:1 Mai apnay man bap ki ikloti olad ho n they jus can’t live widout me
No:2 MOST IMPORTANT REASON…All ov u know k pak k halat kaya hy aj kul…i dun have to mention anything.My parents r sayin k ham sapnay mai b tumhay pak nahe baijay gay
I told this thing to HIM n heZ not razi to kum to uk n live wid us
us ka kehna hy k he can’t leave his parents alone in pk as hez the only son of his parents
He has 2 sisters one is married and the other one is 15yrz old…He doesn’t lyk the concept of being a gher damad
I Understand him fully …Hez not wrong in whatever hez doing but i can’t go against my parents aswell…
I told him k ham tumharay parents ko uk bula lay gay n woh hamary saath rahay gay buh hez not ready for that aswell]He said to me k mai tum sy bahot piyar kerta ho n sirf tum sy he shaddi kerna chata ho tumhara poori zindage intezar kero ga but jot um keh rahi ho us mai tumhara saath nahe day sakta sorry
We both love each other lyk hell n cant live widout each other
He said 2me k mai tumharay parents ko mana longa dun worry
Buh I 9 k meray parents nahe mannay waly is baat p
I really dun understand wat 2 do…
Plz all ov u out dere help me
Wat wud u do if u were in ma shoe?

2

I say edit it first so its more readable :)

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Re: PLZ HELP ME

:(

mera ek she'r az tazmeen bar Ghazal-e-vaalid marHoom
4

Thats what she meant, ppl.

Asalam-o-alikam!
Em a new user on GS...........mujay ap sab ki help chai plz help me

I met this guy online.......we became frndz n this frndship turned into LOVE
Its been 3 yrs since v know each other
He livez in pakistan n em ere in UK. Ham her rooz bat kertay hy aik dosray say (on msn) .......We both really love each other n wanna geh married
em 18 n heZ 23 but that doesn't matter to me as long as he loves me n carez 4 me
Hez the best guy i have ever met in my WHOLE life........I love him lyk hell
Last year i went to pakistan n met him 4 the 1st time in ma lyf
His family knew about me but i told my parents when i visit pk n met him in real life bkoz i wanted to see him in reality. jald bazi mai koi faisla nahe kerna chati thi
Now that i told ma parents about him ....everything is fi9 they like him n his family n he wants to geh engaged in this summer
BUT there is a problem........
Meray parents muajy pak nahe baijna chatay shadi k bad. They want me to live ere in uk n there are severall reasonz 4 that

No:1 Mai apnay man bap ki ikloti olad ho n they jus can't live widout me
No:2 MOST IMPORTANT REASON.........All ov u know k pak k halat kaya hy aj kul.......i dun have to mention anything.My parents r sayin k ham sapnay mai b tumhay pak nahe baijay gay

I told this thing to HIM n heZ not razi to kum to uk n live wid us
us ka kehna hy k he can't leave his parents alone in pk as hez the only son of his parents
He has 2 sisters one is married and the other one is 15yrz old.......He doesn't lyk the concept of being a gher damad
I Understand him fully ....Hez not wrong in whatever hez doing but i can't go against my parents aswell.....
I told him k ham tumharay parents ko uk bula lay gay n woh hamary saath rahay gay buh hez not ready for that aswell

He said to me k mai tum sy bahot piyar kerta ho n sirf tum sy he shaddi kerna chata ho tumhara poori zindage intezar kero ga but jot um keh rahi ho us mai tumhara saath nahe day sakta sorry
We both love each other lyk hell n cant live widout each other
He said 2me k mai tumharay parents ko mana longa dun worry
Buh I 9 k meray parents nahe mannay waly is baat p
I really dun understand wat 2 do……
Plz all ov u out dere help me
Wat wud u do if u were in ma shoe?

5

Re: PLZ HELP ME

Is it readable now :(?

6

Not quite. Can you further summarize it?

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Re: PLZ HELP ME

by the looks of it the guy is not willing to leave his parents and understands his responsibility which is awesome and mashaAllah you are very lucky, however everything boils down to the fact that if you can adjust moving to where he is then awesome otherwise good luck :k:,
Relationship mein thora adjustment aur sacrifice zaroori hain, and i guess both of you need to understand, as a couple you guys have to find a common ground and for that you guys need to really talk it out :k:

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Re: PLZ HELP ME

I agree with Kaun ... someone has to give a lil in this relationship and you guys need to determine between the two of u how much u can compromise to be with him ... i'm sure you guys can find a middle ground :)

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Re: PLZ HELP ME

Thx 4 replting guyZ :)

Em ready to settle in pk with him......but the problem iz meray parents nahi man rahay
I understand he has some responsibility towards his parents aswell.......but i told him k once w r settle in ere...Both goh jobs den WE goona call ur parents n they will live wid US
But he said k this is not goona happen kio k us ki family nahe mannay wali is baat k liy
guyz how can i convince him?

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Re: PLZ HELP ME

Can someone summarize? Seriously?

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Re: PLZ HELP ME

Girl as you mentioned you are 18, why dont you concentrate on studies now and let him make somin for himself as well, this will give both of you time to mature as well as take a step which ever way you want.

► Timepass ◄► Jashn-E-Azadi ◄
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Re: PLZ HELP ME

they met online and fell in love.
she went to meet him in Pakistan.
parents on both sides are okay with the rishta but her parents don't want her to move to Pak cuz she is an only child.
he doesn't want to move to UK and leave the responsibility of his parents and 15 years old sis.
she wants to know how to convince him to move to UK after marriage.

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Best Advice!!!

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I Love a guy n wanna geh married to him....but the probelms is he livez in pk n em ere in uk
Now my parents r saying k after marriage HE has to kum2 uk because ham tumhay pak nahe baijnay walay
I told him k once v r married n settled fully den we can call ur parents ere n they will live wid US
Na us ki family man rahi hy na hi meri family
Em depressed bwt this issue?
really duno k ab kaya hoga :(

Buh guyz ham dono aik dosray say bahot piyar kertay hy
We can't live widout each other.......likin ham apni familiy kj against b nahe jana chatay
Plz help us to finda way so we can convince our parentS?
He is 60% OKAY wid wat i said but us ki family ko kaisay manay?
PLz help......

15

hi

well its not easy, to put into words "that" what is in your mind and heart. You did a very good job the first time dont worry about it please.
Well my humble advice would be the following.
As it seems the guy you are in love with is really nice else guys from Pakistan are jumping to leave Pakistan even if they have to drop their parents and family into the gutter.

So far my opinion is that he is a good guy with genuine intetions and he really loves you and respects you and is telling you that he has a real problem.

You must understand that eventhough you are willing to take care of him and his family woh ahsaan mand nahin hona chahta and for a good reason i think.
So many times it happens jab koye kissi peh meharbaan ho (even if its a family member) woh sari zindagi show off kartay rehtay hain keh its bc of THEM that others are setteled in UK or abroad. I am not saying that you or your parents are like that but aise hota hai.

I cannot disagree with your parents either. if i would have a daughter to mein bhe yehi faisla karta and larke koh UK bulaata so its all not every easy.

Dekha jaye to larkian aksar larkeh ke paas jaati hain. Wether its in our culture or western culture its almost the same yeah dunyaa ki reet hai wether one likes it or not its a fact.
So shaadi keh baat they still will be your parents and you their daughter but aap ne apne husband ke saath hi rehna hai.

I know someone frm Holland a girl who was born and bred in The Hague she decided to live in karachi after she got married. I know life is not easy in Pakistan and things are bad but 180 million people are living in Pakistan and surviving. And most of them are not as fortunate eough as you that are very well off and can buy a nice house and live at a place where you are save.

Do also understand (which you do as you said) that in our culture (asian culture) as the only son you are responsible for your sisters and that is not a bad thing. So he feels responsible and that means he will be also responsible in dealing with you after you get married with him.

I think you should compromise with him without that you can't solve this problem. Aik haath le aur doosre haath de.

You should go to Pakistan and live there and after few years after the sisters get married you can always come back to UK aur yeah baat aap ke future husband ko maani parhe gi because you are sacrifising so much for him.

As far as your parents are concerned they can always come to Pakistan to see you and you can go to UK whenver you want of course all depending on financial siuation i dont know about that only you can tell.

So mohtarma the secret word is COMPROMISE.

you people thought that Ishi88 was incoherent but what about my post ? :D lolz
I really hope you get what i mean Ishi88. Best of luck.

16

Kaun bhai.......We DUN wanna geh married NOW......buh he only wants to get engaged as there r so many rishtaZ kuming 4 him n also his parents r kinda puting pressure on him aswell.........
HeZ doing ICMAP n em goona start ma uni this yr InshAllah (4 pharmacy course)
heZ nearly done wid his studieZ
jus need a yr or so to complete his final yr and geha job

But engagment say pehlay ma parents wanna clear all these issuez so that bad mai koi prob na ho
So can u suggest sumthing that will help me 2 convince him?

17

well.....at the rate things are escalating in Pakistan he may soon change his mind on his own.
if you are okay to go and live in Pakistan then why not just wait it out and show your parents that you will not marry someone else.

and this is the first time that I have heard of a guy who is only 23 and not even gainfully employed being approached for many rishtay.

so who is actually in a hurry then? him?

► Timepass ◄► Jashn-E-Azadi ◄
18

she di bah u dun geh ee

► Timepass ◄► Jashn-E-Azadi ◄
19

Re: PLZ HELP ME

Um.

Solution:

Do not marry him. He will not move and he has made that clear. Don be manipulative to make him move. Lots of guys in the UK - find someone else. Focus on school and learn to write English properly.

Talking Pictures/funny memes
20

Thanks alot 4 ur valuable advice :)

He really iza sweetheart..........jitne tareef kero utne hi kum bes itna keh sakti ho k i am really lucky to have him aza partner

Alhumdo-lliah em not 1 ov doz ppl jo kesi p ehsan ker k ussay yaad rakhtay hy ya ussay sari zindage tannay martay hy
AND.......agar daikha jay to is mai ehsan wlai koi baat he nahe
Us say meri shaddi hogi n aza biwi mera poora farz bunta hy k mai us ka khayal rakho n ussay piyar do
Uk anay k bad woh Job karay ga inshAllah n apni savings mai say yeh sara khercha uthay ga HOWEVER em goona help him as much as i can

I COMPLETLY agree wid u ere.......us nay b muajy yeh baat kahi hy but meri majboori yeh hy k mai apnay parents k khilaf nahe ja sakti

His sister is 15yrz old at the moment :)
But wateva u said iz nota bad idea either

The thing is woh apnay parents n apnay mulk say by-hud piyar kerta hy....He will leave me but heZ not goona leave his parents
He said to me k Allah na karay agar hamari shaddi na ho saki to mai zindage bher shadi nahe kero ga :(
Meri nend mera chain sab khatam ho gaya hy .......khuch samajh nahe a raha k kaya kero mai :(